Red-hot Mark clinches Picks title during high-output baking bonanza

All sorts of major records were under attack in Week 16 because of a sizzling streak by Mark and a monster baking event at the Picks Central headquarters facility.  After all the numbers were carefully calculated, it was determined that Mark shattered a league record, tied another, and locked up the 2003 Picks championship while a female foursome produced enough goodies to dwarf Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

Mark's second career title was secured during Sunday's early games when the visiting Dolphins crushed the favored Bills.  That gave him a 14-game advantage over Alicia with only 13 games on the docket in the final week.  His eight victories and four losses earned him the best record in Picks history for four straight weeks (43-12), breaking the record he just set last week for crying out loud.  And he did it despite losing his final two games.

Mark's 150 total victories with one week left ties the all-time high set by Blaine in 1998.  And if all that isn't enough, Mark now takes aim at the best record for a single season, needing to go 12-1 in Week 17 to put more icing on his career year.  Pretty impressive, but the almighty Picks Gods frowned when he didn't show up for the traditional winner's ceremony Sunday afternoon.  He cruised into town Monday night, though, and the speeches were made and handshakes exchanged.

Another record was established on Sunday, but this one was of the lip-smacking variety.  The weekend cookie factory run by QT and the girls was so successful that the massive number of treats set a state record for home baking by a single-oven family.  The production line of D.J., Nicki and Ali created a grand total of 1,106 pieces in 13 varieties.  If lined up end to end on a football field, the goodies would stretch roughly 75 yards, which is longer than any NFL quarterback can throw a football.  Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich said he can't recall a more impressive baking achievement in the Prairie State.

"I've never heard of a family that could out-bake the throwing arm of Dan Marino in his prime," Blagojevich said.  "More than eleven hundred goodies?  That borders on being frickin' ridiculous."  But the governor then licked his lips and asked for two dozen of the "yummy sugary peanut butter ones with the pointy chocolate thing in the middle," acting just like the little kid he still looks like with his baby face and 1950s haircut.

In order of their quantity, the treats produced during the two-day baking bonanza were Harvest Spiced Nuts (160), Chocolate Mint Thumbprints (123), Butterscotch Drops (118), Nestle Tollhouse Cookies (108), Peanut Butter Blossoms (99), Reese's Chewy Chocolate Cookies (93), Choco-Mint Snappers (75), Iced Oatmeal Cookies (66), Oatmeal Candy (61), Sugar Cookies (55), Nutty Pretzel Bark (54), Helen's Foolproof Fudge (48), and Dipped Shortbread Cookies (46).  Now there's an accomplishment that might stand for awhile, or at least for another year.