Excerpts from the article by Dr. Moe Gelbart in FASTPITCH WORLD - August '96
Involvement
Attitude is as important, if not more important, than ability. This is as true for you as it is for your child. Always be positive.
Learn to encourage, not criticize.
Recognize that team sports require teamwork. Individual efforts do not win or lose games; they are only a players contribution to the
team's success. Team sports offer the opportunity to sharpen an important skill - the ability to focus on "we" instead of "me" to accomplish
a goal.
Keep the big picture in mind. Your child will focus on the details of each game. From your perspective, you can help your child to
see his game results as his progress on his long term goals for development, both within the season and from prior seasons.
Be a parent, not an agent. Talk to your child about his concerns, and help him learn to take care of most issues himself. Don't
make lists of demands for the coaches to follow. Rather than allowing your child to make excuses for himself by criticizing coaches and
players, take the opportunity to teach him how to cope with adversity.
Volunteer your time. There are many tasks that need to be done to keep the club running. Ask how you can help. Your child will
appreciate your positive involvement, and be proud to have you as part of his team.
Attend games - and cheer, not just for your child but for everyone on the
team he plays on. Remember that if our children observe us withholding
our support from certain players, they will attempt to do the same. Always
keep in mind that the development of character, values and positive self-esteem
is the primary goal of sports, not just winning or losing games.
Interference
Don't give instructions from the sidelines. The players have coaches, and they have worked hard on developing cohesion
and a mental attitude toward the game. Yelling out tips, advice, correction
or criticism will in no way improve your child's ability. Please keep in
mind that the content and accuracy of the information is not the issue. Help not asked for is criticism. If your child has not asked for
your advice, then don't give it.
Don't question the coach's decisions during or immediately after games. As a parent, you have a right to your opinion regarding playing time,
attitude, discipline, etc. However, I recommend the 24 hour rule - speak
to the coach 24 hours after the game. By then, the dust has settled, tempers
have cooled, and saner heads prevail.
Beginning at approximately 13 years old, it is important for you to empower
your children and teach them to take care of their own needs. Rather than
speak for them, encourage them to speak up for themselves.
Don't make a spectacle of yourself during the game. Loud and rude comments to referees, opposing coaches, or even opponents may seem
humorous to you, but your child is cringing on the bench with embarrassment. Always keep in mind that you are a role model, and act in the
stands the way you would want your child to behave.
Don't tell your child everything he has done wrong on the ride home from the game. Trust me, this is not what is considered quality
time and sharing. You may think it is helpful, but he feels criticized. In addition, he already knows that the error he made in the fifth
inning that allowed the opposing team to score the winning run was not good, and does not need to be reminded of it by you.
