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| Monday, September 18, 2000 - I told the nurse I wanted to try and take a shower and she said that was already on my agenda. However, I had to eat first. My parents arrived fairly early and helped me with my breakfast. Brian called during this time. He sounded so tired. He had already been spending quite a bit of time with Sydney. He said she was doing okay. When they arrived the night before, they had talked with Dr. K from UVA. He showed them Sydney�s x-rays and pointed out her multiple fractures. Brian said it was so hard to look at. Dr. K told them that instead of Thanatophoric dysplasia, Sydney had Osteogenesis Imperfecta type 2. There are four different types and hers was the most serious. Brian wanted to know when I would be able to get there and I told him I had no idea when I would get discharged. He said they were going to let him hold Sydney later that day. I told him to be sure and get lots of pictures and video. |
| I was finally able to get into the shower without too much trouble. I spent most of the day entertaining visitors or talking on the phone. Brian called a few times and each time I prayed that there would be no bad news. He sounded so tired and depressed. I told him I needed him to sound happier. His voice was all I had to go by. He said it was so hard because I wasn�t there and he needed to be strong for Sydney. He just didn�t know what to do. They had had to put Sydney on another type of ventilator, a stronger one. She was doing better once she was put on it but she was still not doing very well. Not only did Brian get to hold Sydney, but so did his father. The doctors at UVA called and spoke with my doctors and it was decided that since I was doing so well, I could be discharged the next day. Normally, I would have had to wait until Wednesday but these were special circumstances. |
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| Tuesday, September 19, 2000 - My parents had spent the night with me. That morning I quickly got up and began getting ready. Brian called and I told him I was getting discharged but I had no idea what time it would be. I also didn�t know if we were going to try and make the four-hour trip to UVA that day or the next. While in the shower, I broke down. This was all unbearable. I just wanted my baby. I got dressed and came out of the bathroom, bawling. I told my parents, "I don't want to do this!" We all hugged and cried. I could hear babies down the hall crying and I just wanted them to shut up. As the nurses brought the necessary paperwork, I knew it wasn�t normal. I kept remembering how with Kelsea I had been given papers about how to care for her, when to call the doctor, and things like that. This time I was just given papers for me. I was given a few gift bags courtesy of the hospital but I knew I was different. As I was wheeled out of the hospital in the wheelchair, instead of holding Sydney in my arms, I was clutching her pictures to my chest. How could I leave the hospital without my baby? I felt like everyone was staring at me. |
| We went to my house and Kelsea was sitting on the steps with our neighbor waiting for me. She was so excited to see Mommy. I quickly noticed the pink ribbon on the door. I smiled. My neighbor, who had lost her infant son fifteen years prior, had bought it for me and put it on our door. It said, �It�s a Girl!� That ribbon stayed on our door for two months. Kelsea ran to me and my mother quickly picked her up so I could hug her. Mommy was home! It was almost naptime so I spent a few minutes playing with her and then told her I would lay her down. She was so happy. It was a little difficult trying to hold her and rock her, but she was very gentle. I read her books and sang her songs and then my mother came to put her in the crib since I couldn�t lift her. We all rested and I decided that it would probably be best if we went ahead and made the trip to UVA that evening. I did my best to pack. After Kelsea woke up, I packed her bags and we ended up leaving sometime before 6:00. Brian�s mother, sister, and sister-in-law were already en route to UVA. We made very few stops. My father drove as carefully as possible without driving too slowly. I kept telling him to speed up. The drive was bumpy and uncomfortable but I just wanted to get there. We stopped at a gas station and I bought some presents for Kelsea and Sydney. I bought Kelsea a gray stuffed kitten and a matching tan one for Sydney. I also bought Sydney a birthstone bear. It was sapphire blue and had September embroidered on its foot. We arrived at the hotel around 9:30. We had called Brian on the cell phone so they were outside waiting for us. We saw them and pulled into the driveway. Brian had already gotten our room so all we had to do was unload the car. We didn�t waste much time at the hotel because I wanted so badly to see Sydney. We had to get back in the car to go to the hospital. It was within walking distance but it would have been difficult with a wheelchair. We arrived at UVA and Dad let us out at the door. I didn�t have my wheelchair with me because I insisted on walking. I walked as quickly as I could, which of course was not fast at all. My mom kept telling me to slow down but I refused. Before we could see Sydney, we had to get a visitor�s pass and a wheelchair from the hospital. That took about ten minutes and I was getting very impatient. Finally, we were allowed to go upstairs. The hallway leading to the NICU was nicely decorated. It was covered in pinwheels. To this day I can�t see a pinwheel without my memory going back to UVA. We came to two huge doors and Brian pressed a button on the wall to open them. My world was suddenly transformed. |
| Sydney's Story |
| 9/18-9/19/00 |