| determined to see her in person. I was taken to the SCN and I saw her...so tiny yet the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. She was attached to so many tubes and wires, but I really didn�t notice them. Then, I was allowed to hold her. Oh my! I didn�t think I would get to due to her fractures but they knew I would be very gentle. The nurse handed her to me. She felt as light as a feather. I was told she weighed 2lbs 12oz and was 14in long. She was much bigger than anticipated. We had been told her toes and fingers were webbed. They weren�t. We had been told she had a bulge on her forehead. She didn�t. Her chest didn�t even appear to be small. As I held her, I stroked her hair and talked to her. She finally opened one eye to look at Mommy. What pretty blue eyes. Her hair was coal black and I was amazed at how much she had. I sang to her and told her Mommy loved her. I kissed her on the forehead, it was so soft, and then had to hand her back to the nurse. Since I had just had surgery, they didn�t want me in the wheelchair too long. I could have stayed there much longer had I been allowed. Later Dr. M returned to my room and my heart again hit the floor. He told us that he had contacted UVA and that they were sending a team to get Sydney to transfer her there. Wow. How exciting yet scary. It gave me so much hope. UVA wouldn�t have accepted her if they didn�t think they could help her in some way. Brian was told he could go but would not be able to fly with her. He would have to drive. It was decided that he, his brother, and his father would make the trip to UVA. I could not go yet due to the c-section. Brian and his family went to pack while Sydney was being prepared for the flight. Sometime after 5:30 we were informed that the flight team was there. After about an hour, they came into my room with Sydney. She was in a special incubator and looked even smaller. They wheeled her over to my bed so that I could touch her. They also allowed me to send two little stuffed animals with her. They explained who they were and what they were going to do. Again, I felt that Sydney was in very good hands. Too quickly they told me it was time to leave. I kissed my hand and placed it on Sydney�s chest because I could not bend down to reach her. I told her good-bye and that Mommy loved her. Brian, his brother, and his father left when Sydney did. My mother and father looked out the window and saw an ambulance. They could tell it was for Sydney. They watched it drive away, taking her to the airport for her first plane ride. I missed her already. The nurses on the floor where I had been transferred were also nice. One nurse came in and told me that she had to massage my uterus. That was extremely painful. She also gave us some information about UVA and suggested some places where we might be able to stay. My parents wanted to stay with me that night but I insisted they go home. I didn�t get much sleep because I kept thinking about Sydney and it was too hard to get comfortable. |
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| Sunday, September 17, 2000 - A nurse came into my room around 6:30 and woke me. This was the day. I took a shower and mentally prepared myself. Our families and pastor visited and prayed with us until the nurse told them she needed to get me ready. Brian even had to leave. The nurse was so calming. She had to shave my belly and put a catheter in, and the whole time she was talking to me, telling me she was going to be there. She also informed me that Dr. P was not going to be in the operating room. Instead Dr. W would do the operation assisted by another doctor. What a relief. The nurse also asked if we had a camcorder. We did. She had brought her own for us to use since she wasn't sure. What a compassionate woman. I was wheeled into the hallway where my family was waiting. They all gave me hugs and kisses and told me they loved me. Brian went with me but he had to stay out of the operating room until the spinal block was administered. I sat on the edge of the table, leaning over as far as my belly would allow, grasping one of the nurse�s hands. Finally, they inserted the spinal block and I was allowed to lay back. I then heard them say to go get the father. The room was very crowded. I think there were three nurses for me, the two doctors, and then Sydney had the neonatologist and either two or three nurses. A screen was put over my belly so that I could not see what was happening.. I could feel a little bit of tugging and could smell burning, but I was not uncomfortable. The entire time Brian was holding my hand and we were praying outloud. Finally, Sydney was born. She was immediately handed to Dr. M and I could not see her for all of the people working on her. Brian and I were bawling and just praying to the Lord that she be okay. I heard someone say �8:35� and knew that was the official time of her birth. One of the nurses commented that Sydney was crying but it was too soft for us to hear. I never did hear her cry. After a few minutes, the doctor wheeled Sydney over to us briefly. She looked right at her mommy and daddy. What a sweet face! I couldn�t really tell much about her but Brian said she looked beautiful, a little small, but beautiful. They then took her to the Special Care Nursery. Brian and I continued to pray. Dr. W began stitching the incision and Brian and I noticed that 2 nurses kept repeating numbers. When we asked why, Dr. W said it was so that they could make sure all of the instruments were removed and not left inside me. I was wheeled back to my room. I was very groggy and just wanted to sleep. However, I kept having visitors. At some point Brian was allowed into the SC Nursery to see Sydney. He said she looked so precious. We had had a mental image in our mind as to what she might look like, and she looked nothing like what we had thought. Our parents were also allowed to see Sydney. I remember asking my mom, �Isn�t she beautiful� and with tears in her eyes, she nodded. I kept asking how much she weighed and how long she was, but those measurements hadn�t been taken yet. Some time later Dr. M and a nurse came into my room. Each time they appeared, I held my breath. I never knew what the news would be. Dr. M told us that Sydney�s skull was not fully formed. She just had the base of it and virtually nothing from her forehead to the back of her head. He also said that she had many bone fractures. He did say he was surprised at how well she was doing. They also brought me several Polaroid pictures. My first real look at my daughter. What a prized possession. I couldn�t take my eyes off of her. |
| After a couple of hours, I was actually allowed to sit in a wheelchair to see Sydney in the SCN. It was very painful getting out of the bed, but I was |
| Sydney's Story |
| 9/17/00 |