No Sek Please,
We're Pishites

 

Chapter One: Pishe and the City of Morons

(1) In the younger days of thee world Pishe walked among the humans. She walked through the fields bringing moisture and joy. She walked through the cities bringing showers and quenching thirst. She walked through the mountains bringing torrential downpours and lethal mudslides, because this is ae god's idea of a 'practical joke'.

 

(2) And she looked radiant in clingy damp clothes.

 

(3) Ahem. She also brought life to those foolish enough to lose it. Many were the days she would be walking in the Holy Wood when someone would 'tell' her "I'm dead can you help?"

 

(4) And she would say "I'd like to, but where art thou?"

 

(5) And the Moron would reply "KLK".

 

(6) I mean what sort of answer is that? What was she supposed to do? Portal over to KLK and just wander around on the off-chance that she'd find a spirit to resurrect?

 

(7) And many were the requests, yet few were the people who knew that the follow up question would always be "Where are you?". And Pishe got mightily miffed.

 

(8) And so she typed' alias moron tell reply I can help, and I'd like to help, but I'll need to know where you are. Simply telling me KLK or CWC won't cut it. I need an exact location'.

 

(9) And now when she is contacted by a fool she can just type 'moron' and the fool shall be satisfied.

 

Chapter Two: Thee Shield and thee Dust Devil

 

(1) A warrior once challenged a priest to Pishe to a fight. "Mighty am I," claimed the warrior, for a priest of Sek has performed a minor shield ritual upon me.

 

(2) "Weak am I", replied the priest, "so I'm going to invite a friend along" and he performed 'dust devil'.

 

(3) Thee fight began. Thee priest struck the warrior with his mace, but thee warrior's shield absorbed some of the blow.

 

(4) Thee warrior struck thee priest, yet found that thee dust devil placed himself between thee warrior and thee priest, so thee priest was not hurt at all.

 

(5) And then the whirlwind attacked the warrior, so he had two enemies instead of one.

 

(6) And so the fight continued. And when thee priest performed minor shield on thee whirlwind, the warrior knew he was beaten and ran away having learned a valuable lesson.

 

(7) Unfortunately the whirlwind followed him and slew him, so thee warrior didnt learn it for long. Which was a shame.

 

Chapter Three: Worship is its own reward

 

(1) "Woe is me," cried a newbie priest unto Dickens. "I wish to serve Pishe, yet my stats are pretty awful."

 

(2) And Dickens replied. "To improve thy stats ae priest should worship Pishe, for worship is its own reward."

 

(3) The newbie wailed, "I do worship Pishe, I'm a priest of Pishe."

 

(4) Dickens gazed upon the priest. "Ae priest of Pishe you may be, yette you do not truly worship Pishe."

 

(5) And the newbie said "Look thicko Dicko I think I should know whether or not I'm worshipping Pishe. I typed 'score' and it said I'm very good and worshipping Pishe."

 

(6) Dickens evenly replied "You do not truly worship Pishe. The devoted would ensure they did so not once but often". Dickens then worshipped Pishe.

 

(7) And thee newbie, getting the hint, typed 'worship pishe' and was amazed to find all his stats raised by one point.

 

(8) "Thank you Dickens, " spake the newbie, "and thank you Althea."

 

(9) And Dickens blushed.

 

 

 

 

Backward to Thee Introduction.