No Sek Please,
We're Pishites

 

Chapter One: Dying

(1) Death is ae many splendoured thing that comes to all of us, at least seven times. Enjoy yt. When thou art dead thy options are thus:

* Travel to a raising point. These are found around thee disc. Harry in thee Temple of Small Gods can raise you. There are also raising points in KLK and CWC.

* Ask ae priest to 'raise' you. Priests of Pishe and Gufnork may both 'raise' thee dead.

* Ask ae priest to 'ressurect' you. Only a priest of Pishe may do this.

 

(2) 'Raise Dead' shall restore life unto you, but leave your stats temporarily depleted. They shall heal with time or a 'restore'. Ye shall also be bereft of thy experience points.

 

(3) 'Resurrect' shall restore life unto you, along with full stats and around40% of your experience points. Thou shalt be on the verge of death still, with only one hit point to begin with. So yt would be a good idea to hang around to be 'heal'ed before going off to kill some more.

 

(4) So thy best option when dead is to 'tell' a priest of Pishe asking them politely to ressurect you. This is a skill limited to Pishe's elite, so thee priest you contact may notte have this skill. Ask politely and they will pass thee message along to the Pishe talker channel.

 

(5) Of course Pishe's priests are least as busy as you, so ye should not expect all to be dropped to cure you of your own stupidity. Yt is an amazingly bad idea to contact two priests separately and have them both traipse over to resurrect you. Should you do so thy name may be entered into thee Booke of Fools, which may lead to a temporary lack of assistance from Pishe's priests.

 

Chapter Two: Buying

(1) Sadly one lifetime is notte enough to see all thee wonders of the Disc. Notte even seven lives may be enough, so ye shall have to buy more. This may be done at Pishe's pool.

 

(2) Diamonds are notte ae girl's best friend. They've been replaced by Royals. To gain thee favour of Pishe ye must 'toss 1 royal into pool' until Pishe is satisfied. When she is satisfied that thou art a sincere tosser, she shall grant extra life.

 

(3) Ye shall be overcome with joy, despite being tired. This joy may evaporate somewhat when ye realise thy stats are shot. Thou shalt need a 'restore' or time to heal fully.

 

Onward to Thee Booke of Parables.