No Sek Please,
We're Pishites

Chapter One: Gaining skills

(1) Pishe hast enjoined her priests to work for her glory unto thee best of their ability. Yet verily being ae goddess she is notte satisfied with thy best, and so provides the facilities to get even better.

 

(2) Thou may train by trading thy experience points for skills at her pool. By typing 'cost all' you have ae list of skills available for training and their costs in XPs. Yet nothing in Life is free, and training shall also cost you dollars, or at least ae few pence.

 

(3) As ae priest you shall find investing in thy faith skills ae boone unto thy work. For yt shall lead unto knowledge of rituals by which you may entreat thy god to act upon thy behalf.

 

(4) Once thou hast the necessary level in thy faith skills, leaving the pool and returning shall cause Dickens of Pishe to teach you in the words of Pishe.

 

(5) Upon the Second floor of the temple in thee West lies ae further training area for all priests. Here they may learn to pray, heal, light and perform simple offensive rituals. And in the furthest west part of thee corridor they shall find an olde tome in which lyeth the arguments necessary for theological debate.

 

(6) Unless you're American, in which case you'll find the training area on the second floor. For in thee UK thee floors are numbered thusly: Ground floor, first floor, second floor..., rather than first floor, second floor, third floor...

 

(7) When advancing their skills priests are reminded that there is more to life than faith, particularly if you want to stay alive. And so the wise priest will also advance skills such as other.health and his fighting skills.

Chapter Two: Gaining Experience

(1) "By growing in experience we shall also grow in ourselves," spake Pishe. "And By growing in ourselves we shall also grow in experience." And she spake the truth, for many and varied are the ways to gain experience.

 

(2) Thou shalt gain experience by standing around doing nothing. But who wouldst wish to log in to ae MUD for that? Avoid such persons who entreat you to idle, for they are vexations to thee spirit and worrisome nerrysnakes who shalt lead you into ae life of sloth and unfulfillment.

 

(3) Thou shalt also learn through thy faith, through thy successes and thy failures. For even in failing ae ritual we gain experience proportionate to thee difficulty of thee ritual.

 

(4) Which is juste as well really, for many are thee priests of Pishe and many are those who sense her attention is elsewhere.

 

(5) But to repeatedly perform thee same ritual shall bore Pishe and reduce thy experience, so remember well to vary thy rituals.

 

(6) Praying unto Pishe shall also improve thy experience as it consumes thy guild points and converts them into experience, sometimes four times as much experience, if you have not bored Pishe with repeated praying.

 

(7) Hitting Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray ad infinitum shall therefore do little for thy experience beyond the 'idling' level and have little effect as thy guild points shall notte regenerate to meaningful levels. Thee best use of pray is in rotation, with rituals. Pray, perform detect alignment on me, perform splash on me, perform parch on me, perform light on me, would be a wiser rotation of rituals for those who seek to gain experience. But expect notte to race up unto level 300 if thou pursuest thys path.

 

(8) And so thee only truly reliable source of experience lyeth in the life, and mor specifically thee death of others. For by killing we learn what yt is to be alive. So thou are recommended to armour thyself to thy unburdened maximum, and go out and smite thee ungodly.

 

(9) Yet remember well that killing is ae act of evil in itself and shall draw thee closer to thee dark side. Therefore yt is a fyne idea to kill those who art evil and thence mitigate the act of evil with an act of good.

 

(10) By saying: "Pishe, Gufnork, Gapp, Sandelfon, Hat, Fish, Sek" unto a priest thou shalt learn which god lies in his heart. Should they sing the praises of thee evil gods Hat, Fish or Sek then smite them.

 

(11) Unless when you 'consider' the priest, you discover they are a lot tougher than you.

 

(12) Yet it should also be safe to kill thee rats, and cockroaches and scorpions of thee worlde.

 

(13) And forget not to bury them, for that is half of thee experience, and ae benefit to thy guild points.

 

(14) Once thou hast thy ritual 'detect alignment' thou shalt also learn who else may be smitten. Anyone dark grey or dark should be safe to skewer.

 

(15) And once thou learneth the 'ventisepelate' command. Thou should be able to kill those who are merely grey and gaineth favour in the eyes of Pishe.

Chapter Three: Shortcuts to Success

(1) Harness thee power of thee alias command and thou shall gain valued time and skills.

 

(2) Open thy heart to thee popular alias 'gafc'. By typing 'alias gafc get all from corpse; bury corpse' when combat is over and you type 'gafc' you shall perform both actions.

 

(3) At least you should set 'gcfc' as 'get coins from corpses'.

 

(4) Another helpful alias is 'prai' when yt is sette: "alias prai hold prayer beads; pray to pishe; hold sword' which would help charge thy prayer beads and leave you with thy sword in thy hand ready for combat when you type the command 'prai'.

 

(5) perform light on target is always a long sentence to type, particularly at night when you are in ae rush. Why notte set an alias 'alias li perform light on $*$'? Thence by typing 'li me' thou shalt light cause a holy light to radiate from thyself, or 'li rat' shall cause a rat to glow with Pishe's light, assuming thou hast ae rat handy.

 

(6) The young priest is also known to worry about matters of thee bank balance. One way of gaining equipement to sell is to 'search' in the streets for such items. Those with more chutzpah will 'recover all' in streets in thee hope of finding a corpse that has notte been completely plundered.

 

Onward to Thee Booke of Rituals.