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Answers for Mens
Founder/President: Lou Ortiz
NDPF �2000-07

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Last update: 13Feb2008
Greetings All,

It should be of no surprise to look around our world these days and know that a serious epidemic has infected our lives, our families. Ever since the beginning of time when the powerful poison of "Pride" was introduce into this world many other invisible poisons have followed and plagued our lives. Can a man and a woman live in peaceful harmony together? This would seem to be one of the greatest mysteries of all time. As Im sure many would prove they can not. None the least, here at the National Divorce Prevention Foundation we are going to pick up the pieces and rebuild that which wants to live. But, most importantly to
prevent and vaccinate that which will be plague. If we can instruct the young, while there young, in the ways they should behave, one towards another, then there is hope for the union of marriage. We must come to an understanding of our human condition if we are to survive as one.  I will submit to you, with much seriousness, as I have traveled this road and know that the great epidemic stops for no one and will devour the ones that think they are immuned. The ones that are divorce know this far to well, and my heart goes out to them.  We spend more time judging each other, instead of loving.  Should it be of any wonder why Divorce continues to flourish?  If your heart and soul are deeply touched by these concerns, do not hesitate to write to me and unite forces in this war against the family.  Because... Together, we can! 
                                                            Founder/President - Lou Ortiz
From the Desk of the President
Our Mission: To secure the foundation of marriages through *D.R.A. and other resources, and the much needed hope that is lost right after the wedding day. To make a difference by initiating awareness in people through seminars, media, technology, counseling, support groups, and any other means available to us, so that people will realize... that the temporary relief of terminating a marriage will never bring the permanent peace one imagines will come through divorce. So two� can finally say, "For better and Forever".

* -
Divorce Reality Awareness
                                     -FACTUAL OBJECTIVES-

A storm is raging out of control. Every Twenty-seven seconds a divorce is granted in this nation. It is estimated that the chance of a marriage surviving today is about Thirty percent.  Folks this is tragic to say the least.  The deception has begun.  It is apparent in these latter days that an evil prevails� for now. It is apparent that hatred is accepted as a psychological dysfunction.  It is apparent that abuse, of many types, is on the rise.
And what we abuse we should lose
"People of this nation� we� are making the biggest mistake of them all". We the people of a once proud nation have, like many others, been reduced to a� statistic. Sad, yet true! For other nations that were once looked upon as troubled nations, are now looking good in the shadows of our comparisons. It seems we have developed a non-caring attitude in our person. A lack of self-discipline, if you will. And the lack of self-discipline is always accompanied by a high price... to be paid sooner or later.  A price many, if not all, can not afford to pay.
And still�who really cares?

Ladies and Gentleman, we are plagued with one of the greatest threats known to mankind. A threat so addictive, many choose it willingly. Tragic? Of course! So do we sit and watch as the primary foundation of a once great nation is eroded by our own lack of self-discipline? Our own greed for self-fulfillment? Our own personal race to climb the corporate latter, while ignoring our families?
The time has come to destroy this disease, before it destroys us.

"Choose this day what you will fight for� loose tomorrow what you did not".
- - L Ortiz

United we stand� Divide we fall, has been a pillage for us, since the beginning of time. And we still hold this truth to be self-evident� today and forever. If you believe in what you hear within the words of this page� then let it be know. Join us in taking a stance, making a difference for our most priceless asset� the family depends on it!

Just drop us an EMail... we'd love to hear from you!
Transform your famliy... today!
                   "Men And Women From The Same Planet After All"
                                                        By Alan Mozes

NEW YORK, Mar 03, 2000 (Reuters Health) -- Are men really from Mars and women really from Venus, as the title of a recent best-seller suggests? Not according to study results, which found that men and women suffering from depression are both troubled by the same concerns -- relationship problems and professional achievement issues.
"There was nothing, not even a hint of any difference -- men and women come with the same level of relationship and achievement issues and they don't differ by gender," said study co-author Diane L. Spangler of the department of psychology at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.
Spangler and her colleague David D. Burns of Stanford University School of Medicine in Palo Alto, California, investigated gender differences among over 400 patients being treated for depression.
The objective was to test the popular belief among some psychologists and self-help writers that men are much more likely to be concerned with work stresses while women are much more likely to be concerned with the emotional baggage revolving around relationships.
Almost 90% of the men and women in the study had at least some college level education and were just as likely to be single as they were to be married or living with someone. The patients were interviewed before and after a 12-week period of treatment for their depression, which involved either behavioral therapy alone or a combination of therapy and medication.
Spangler and Burns measured feelings of "dependency," which they defined as the tendency to avoid conflict, to fear being alone, and to blame oneself for relationship problems; and "perfectionism," which they defined as the tendency to set high performance standards and the fear of failure and making mistakes. According to one theory, depressed women are more likely than men to be dependent and depressed men are more likely to be perfectionists.
The researchers found that depressed men and women do not differ in levels of either anxiety or pressure. Women with depression are no more likely than men to have high dependency scores and depressed men were no more likely to be perfectionists. The study findings are published in a recent issue of the Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy.
Hopefully, the study will debunk some unscientific notions and writings concerning how men and women think and behave, said Spangler in an interview.
"Much of this writing is not based on data," she said. "It's based on people's ideas and their stereotypes, and oftentimes the writers have not bothered to gather the data to support their writing. There's nothing wrong with theory. We need theory. But you need to back it up with data." Popular myths about the sexes may arise out of the desire to quickly explain and understand other people's behavior without taking the time to really communicate with each other, Spangler said. "We use stereotypes a lot because we create mental templates to create a sort of shorthand for ourselves," Spangler added. "And that's because there's a lot of stimuli out in the world and we can't analyze everything all of the time."
While stereotyping male/female behavior can perhaps be described as a way to filter the world at large in an efficient and organized fashion, it could also just as easily be attributed to laziness, she said.
"A darker reason for stereotyping is that when you apply such shorthands, it gives people a way to justify not really getting to know people," she said. "It makes life easier for us, and it can justify making us feel superior, and we don't have to change our behavior. 'Men do this, and women do that, and therefore I'm justified in my behavior and I don't have to change.'"

SOURCE: Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy 1999;13:1-16.

� To preserve the rights and the moral meaning of marriage.
� To discourage and terminate the urge to divorce.  �For we live in a disposable society, were by individuals discard marriages and families� thoughtlessly.
� To ensure that marriage vows survive - through �D.R.A.*�
[Where the innocent ones, the children of unwanted divorces, pay too extreme a price and where lives are destroyed! ]
� �For Better and Forever� - If we can show couples the truth about personal attitudes� they can survive� forever.
� The price of terminating a marriage - is anguishly regrettable� after it�s too late.
� To show* the world how the poison in this world is depleting the family unit.
� To show* that the old clich�, �Attitude is Everything� is real, and can make or break a marriage.
� To also face the reality, as not to forget the hurting, by assisting in the establishment of Divorce Recovery Groups - were ever they�re needed, for far too many churches look the other way!

N.D.P.F.: Is seeking men and women with legal, educational, pastoral, fundraising, medical, and counseling backgrounds, for its new council board.  All are encouraged to apply as the mission of this organization is of tremendous concern to those who can identify with the divorce person as well as the devastation of today's family and those who would consider protecting their children against this evil disease (by *) that plagues this nation and our families.
So if you want to make a difference in the lives of your loved ones� and the world,
write today!  �The world will be a better place� cause you cared!�

*D.R.A. - (Divorce Reality Awareness & other known proven resorces)   

Is this battle real?

�There�s a majority of singles that want to get married, Yet there�s also a vast majority of folks that wish they were single�.
                                                                                 --Dr. James Dobson

What's happening here?

People will always arugue, that's a fact!  Can we ever really get along?

"Cause how you handle conflict determines divorce�
                                                                   -- Gary Smalley, PhD
"When we refuse to understand each other, and embrace anger...
We fertilize the soil of Divorce!"
Family Life
Did you know that in the average church:

     22% of adults have been divorced

     17% of adults are in blended families

     81% of adults have been Christians over 10 years

     75% say their most important need is spiritual growth

     42% of married couples believe they have a good marriage

     15% of married couples pray together regularly other than at meal time

These statistics should make you think.
to the
                                                          Lou Ortiz

I have learned over the years that Divorce is a challenge, to say the least,
but that it can only cripple me if I permit it. I've also learned that we, the
wounded, can become... healers. So If we learn to hang in there, and I say
that because the anguish is very real, we can bring amazing blessing's to
others. And if you know anything about helping others you'll know what I
speak of, for "Happiness is the smile you leave on another's face"!

Is there "Life after Divorce"?  Why yes! But let's try to preserve what we can, before it's too late.  Just ask any child, as I'm sure they'd agree.

It's been said, "You don't really know someone till you've lived with them".  I'm sure many married couples will agree with that statement.  But are we will willing to accept the little truths about each other that can make all the difference in the world.  In the regular world, if I may, we judge based on what we see.  In a marrige we excercise that same method.  This can be very dangerous as a spouse is not your everyday Joe / Jane.  Their are root factors to be considered if we are to fully understand each other.  Without this form of understanding we become street buddies instead of a team players. 


Who was he / she as a young person?
How was he / she raised?
Where should I place compassion?
Where should I place correction?
Do I really know who my spouses father / mother is?
What matters most to my spuses father / mother?
What matters most to my spouse?
How much am I willing to understand?
How much patience will I need to practice with my spouse?
How much sacrificing am I willing to contribute to the success of this marriage?
Will I stand by my mate even when I don't fully agree with him / her?
And very imporantly... Will I respect him / her?  Not mine or his definition of respect, as opinions will vary, but what the Good Book specifies about respect.

These are just a few "Foods for Thought" that you should feed your mind with daily and even more importantly share with your mate.  Can it be done?  Well, next time you see an ederly couple just ask them how they did it.  You just might be surprised!

More to come...
"Did you ever wonder...Why?"

As we embark on yet another century we can see how present day relationship no longer go the distance.  For if we study this Humanity, we will discover how this human condition has, in an almost sub-conscience state, focused on "I'll look out for me, if things get bad", thus eroding away the teamwork devotional mentality that exsisted Oh so long ago.  Think about it!  Your parents - (e.i. born 1920's-30's etc.), may have argude about certain issue but I can't even remember my parents going to bed angry.  Yet today, we not only fight over the simplest or dumbest things at times, but will come back the next day to finish or continue the round.  Now I don't know of any relationships that don't consist of indifferences, but I believe if we learn how to improvise and in many cases a third party is highly favorable to coach the peace, we could probably reduce this Divorce epidemic by leaps and bounds!  A great key here is proper and effective "Conflict Resolutionary Skills"!  I remember a 60's songs called, "Breakup to Makeup".  If you think about it, notice how we will linger in the Makeup area abit longer than the Breakup? Why is that?  Because we, as humans were made to Love not Hate! Happiness, folks... is a choice... yes?

Of Course!
A little food for thought!

"Because compassion is better than revenge"!
"Not until Mankind chooses to Accept and live the Truth...
can there be change!"
Answers in Marriage
For we live in a nation... founded on biblical absolutes, lost by mans tolerances. We live in a nation where by men judge each other by the color of their skin. We live in a nation where we have forgotten that Red, Yellow, Black or White, we are all precious in His sight! We live in a nation were "Kings, that have a dream" are hated and silenced. We live in a nation where a divorce is granted every 27 seconds, by authorities that claim, to have the best interest of the child in mind. We live in a nation where the unborn is destined to remain, unborn. We live in a nation where latch-key kids are as common as our day-timers. We live in a nation where the results of single-parent families are severely affecting our future, generation. We live in a nation where we will refuse the Truth, yet pay a great price. We live in a nation where humans judge one another, yet remain in the prisons of their own denial. We live in a nation where the heart of the problem, is a problem of the heart. We live in a nation so morally destroyed, that it won't be the government that will fix it, my brothers and sisters, but God Almighty!

As founder of this organization I too am divorced, thus know of the angusih that is birth out of divorce.  It destroys everthing in it's path... especially the inoccent victims, the children.  Yet also having experienced the power of forgivness, I can tell you that a rebirth in any marrige is possible... if you both really want it.

I think you will also find our resources most helpful.

Thank you for visiting and our prayer is that you will find help, hope, and healing here.
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Dynamic Relationship Scale
We Use To Talk About Everything!    Check it out!
                           Will You Understand Me?

I have spoken with many who have and are walking the road of anguish from thier broken relationships.  It pains me deeply as the suffering is so overwhelming.  We all want to understand what went wrong, yet are we willing to look in the least common areas.  For instance, "Why is my spose so different after the wedding?"  I think we must ask ourselves, "Did I really know him/her?"  Did I study his/her parents, his/her childhood?  How does He/She handle thier finances?"  Now these may seem like very simple questions, with not much significance to them, but you'd be surprise were they would lead you if you really took the time to investigate what is now, or will become... the rest of your life.  Could we understand why they behave'd the way they did?  Could we see the patterns and habits that were engraved within their heart and soul... so long ago, and haven't left yet?  I truly think it would be worth the effort to ponder these thoughts and take action.  It just might be the best thing we can do... for eachother!
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NDPF � 2000-07
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The Journey
Lou H. Ortiz�2002
We journey along life�s pathways collecting acquaintances as we venture� For some relationships will bloom and a new path begins.  For others� the road seems endless.  What do we make of this life?  If you realize two aspects, you will find perhaps what I too have found� Man kind�s War Within!  Why do we do the things we do?  Why do we feel the way we do?  Life sometimes seems to be upon us merely for our existence.  Yet we cannot truly say this in full conviction.  For there is that undeniable fact that humans are the purposeful creation.  �And to that end� we anguish yet in His strength� conquer!�  For some it proves, while others fade.  I guess real war is like this, yes even so the �Unseen War�.

God be with us!  Philipian4:13
Go now� and encourage your neighbor!�
What Folks are saying...
�Until you�ve been in a wounded persons shoes� should you even speak?�
There is a fine line between Judgment and Opinion.

We are constantly judging others, why?  Don�t relationships have enough pressures?  One must then ask the question, �Who am I, and why do I do the things I shouldn�t?�

And the partner�s response must be one of support, not counter judgment!  For we are called to build each other up not tear each other down!
Relationship Destroyers...
Keeping the Ring... On!
Because... Families are Forever!
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Harsh expectations and comparison destroy humble contentment!
The Fine Line between...
Finances... A Major Issue, Why?
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"Reflections... of the Heart" >>>>>>>>>>
But what if... we should love each other?
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You could have asked God to let you look at me through His eyes� but you didn�t!
Statistics and the Bible both agree that mis-handled finances are a Major leader in relationship erosion and termination.
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