"Even if you killed me, I would come back from the dead and drop kick your ass!"
"But more importantly we've answered the question, boxers or briefs."
"I don't want you to think I'm weird or anything, but please, please kiss me!"
"What type of grim reaper says bingo?"
"You think you can predict what my next move is?! Look at this, I dare to swear you didn't expect this one coming: men's 100m swimming freestyle!"
"A big rock. Yeah that explains everything."
"Thanks for saving my life and all pal, but my sandwhich is just too damn good."
"This is for being so damn ugly!"
"Genkai! Come here you beautiful hag!"
"Why do you keep asking how do I feel? I�m hanging upside down form a tree! Take a guess you freak!"
"I love life. The only girl who knows anything about me uses it as a weapon. I'm so happy to be back home!"
"Out of this whole plan you made one big mistake, you went and pissed me off."
"This day did start out weird. I went to school."
"Hey Keiko when did you fill out in all the right places?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Mysterious, but as it turns out I forgot to bring my pogostick."
"I'm not in the mood. Tell it to my secretary."
"Can't you see I'm busy with this asshole here?"
"You're in the same boat as I am, only weirdo's like Kuwabara can see in the dark."
"Okay grandma, so why don't you show this young whippersnapper how it was done in the olden days."
"I think my compass went stupid."
"Getting blown up is really gonna piss me off!"
"I'll show you cute and friendly til you're black and blue all over!"
"Nah, we just started making out. Then Keiko caught us and a fight ensued."
"If you idiots have got something to say, then say it to my face or say it to my fist!"
"I'm ready to kick some demon tail!"
"Maybe we'll hang out if you ever wake up."
"Koenma's got me by the balls and he knows it!"
"And this is the part where Yusuke Urameshi makes his escape..."
"Hey Kuwabara you're concious, I'm not used to that."
"Stage two, what does that mean you've moved to training pants?"
"Damnit what is this, be bitchy day?"
"I brought an advice book for bad guys, it's called Don't Piss Me Off!"
"Keiko, I love you very much."
"This tunnel they wanna open, it's gonna turn the earth into the demon world's whipping boy."
"You're the only one who has taught me anything useful, plus I think your a headcase."
"I've got enough energy to deep fry a smart ass bird."
"I hear ya, you've got your own needs, then how about I kick your ass first?"
"Have any idea what curiosity does to cats, Botan?"
"Earth to toddler bitch! You better speak now before I forever put that pacifer ten inches down your throat."
"What ever happened to just regular old bullets?"
"They'd probably think I was in a cult with all these tattoos."
"Hahahaha (to Hiei) You're so full of crap! (imitates Hiei) 'I don't care' (laughs)"
"I'd like you to remove your head from your ass, but I don't see that happening anytime soon!"
"Anyone care if I puke on myself?"
Hiei:
"Too bad, I actually liked the jackass."
"I'm glad you're so enthused. The game will be more exciting this way."
"Just what is that ridiculous appendage growing out of your head all about?"
"Let's avoid fighting. You're not worth it."
"So tell me, how does it feel to be in a constant haze of stupidity?"
"Heh, and I suppose you'd think it'd be noble if we all died as a team!?"
"Ninja's are revolting, they stole my idea. I'll have to kill them now."
"What's worse, losing to an old man or a clown?"
"I hate to say it, but that's hardly hygenic. You have no idea how many demons that sword has cut through."
"Do you think it is possible for you to shut up?"
"This idiot makes Kuwabara look smart."
"Go ahead, tell them I'm Yukina's brother, I won't mind at all torturing you to death."
"True pain takes time, my friend."
"I have the power to pull you into oblivion, I assume just my right arm will do."
"You talk, you die."
"You're a team player, a save the day super hero...I hate people like you."
"As far as I'm concerned, we're babystitting."
"There are only stupid people around me, but they mean well."
"Hn, must be my lucky day after all."
"He�s so neck deep in repression, even I feel sorry for him."
"No three leter word can rule my fate...HOT!"
"Only 300 seconds too late to matter."
"Your ugly friend had a good point detective."
"Looks like someone stole my idea."
"Oh look, the ninjas are revolting..."
"It's his energy you lump! He's creating his finishing move. I bet if you look closely enough you can actually see alchohol mixed in with his energy."
"Leave, before you hurt yourself."
"If you have any noble plans to stop me, I suggest you write your will."
Kurama:
"Nerd violence..."
"I�m sorry but I don�t have time to be captured today."
"It's too bad I don't carry around a locket of his (Hiei's) hair."
"Hiei is going through a tricky change. It appears he is beginning to like you."
"Thank you (accepting Hiei's ice gem) for your offer, but I'm really not interested in that kind of thing..."
"And to think, one day they (Hiei & Kuwabara) could be inlaws..."
"I'm warning you, if you so much as bruise what's in your hand, I'll show you pain. The hue of your soul will cease to matter because you will not be judged, when you die you will no longer exist."
"After all the explosions, smell wakes him."
"Baaaaaaaaa!!!"
Kuwabara:
"No it sounded more like a low-level ghost, like a haunted raccoon or something."
"Kurama really is a fox thing, and to think I let him near my kitten!"
"Watch it Hiei! No use getting jealous on me just because I'm good!"
"Get him Urameshi's energy!"
"This arcade...it's got chillies...ah no! Not the tickle feeling!"
"Hey! Shorty's a lot cooler than I thought!"
"You didn't have too many friends growing up, did you?"
"This isn't school Urameshi so don't pretend you're not a duffuss!"
"Stop laughing hamster legs!"
"Of all the nerve, assault me and then ask for a meal?! You're getting squat!"
"If Yusuke can turn invisible and nobody told me, I'm gonna be really mad!"
"What in the world do you think I was doing for the last six months when you were off training with Genkai? Letting you get better than me? Nuh uh!"
"That�s it! The next time I see Sazuka, I�m mopping up the floor with his face!"
"Uh...you�re not going to blow up on me now, are ya?"
"Hey, that's weird. I didn't know you had a little sis, Hiei. I bet she's a pint-sized pain in the you know what just like you. Probably ugly, too."
"Would you be serious for a second? It's not my fault that idiot stole my clothes! Jeez!"
"I mean, seriously. Why can't we ever have a chase on an elevator?"
"Why aren't you inside watching cartoons like a normal kid? Anyways, there's a lot of weirdos out there today, so go on, run home to your mom. When I was a boy we listened to our elders and our video games."
"Urameshi! If you kill me, you are so dead!"
"AAAGGGHHH!!! What are you, some sorta sick grave robber of something?!"
"Why not fight me, the warrior of love, defender of the defenseless?"
"Please no eat me, please no eat, no!"
"I'm not scared, but we should atleast find a rock to get under!"
"You mean he ate the dragon?!?"
"Hey! This is a no dragon-man area, okay?!?"
Genkai:
"I'm not a fighter of good. It's just that I hate people who are bad."
"If you had used that lump three feet above your ass you might have held onto your soul (to Hiei) make that two feet for you."
"Winner, the dimwit."
"Gladly, you patronizing jackass."
"You've suprised me, Yusuke. I was certain my eagerness had killed my favorite dimwit."
"I can't use my ki, so I borrowed some of yours."
"He may look like a dimwit, in fact he definetly is, but he's also the Dark Tournament champ, and he can fight like a genius once he knows his prey."
"I wore that mask because I didn't want to be stalked by one of the hundreds of demons who want my head on their wall, due mostly to your behavior. And thank you so much for that."
"Koenma better come soon, if I keep sitting with these kids, I'll find a new use for my Spirit Wave."
"Thanks for the real vote of confidence. You two should be cheerleaders, you'd look cute in skirts!"
Botan:
"Look at me, I'm burning!"
"Now Puu, calm down and talk to us slowly. Oh wait, you can't talk..."
"Why it's practically unheard of for Koenma to work. I wonder if he's feeling under the weather?"
"Too bad Hiei's not here, we could use his jagan eye to find himself."
"Who me? I'm a foreign exchange student. My english very choppy."
"Oh, it doesn't help that I'm a blabbermouth and he's a telepath!"
"Why that is just the biggest load of bull I've ever heard in my entire life!"
Koenma:
"So, are you going to let me go, or are we going to stand here and do the tango?"
"In addition to knowing the secrets of the universe, I can assure you that I am also quite potty trained."
"You don't seem to have a chance Yusuke, but that's not the point. Just get up and attack him! It's your job!"
"Yes, I'm cool!"
"I like the way this cracked nut thinks!"
"From now on you'll only adress me as Pretty Koenma! Understand? I think pretty really brings out the sparkle in my eyes."
Keiko:
"You speak pretty clearly in your sleep Yusuke. You better be careful or you might tell me something you don't want me to know."
"A tie here, a loop there and ta-da a portable Puu."
"I know you have to fight. But if you die, I swear I'll kill you. Bang."
Shizuru:
"Look at it this way, if demons did have toilets would you really want to use them?"
"In order for a joke to get old, it has to be funny in the first place little bro."
"A little over twenty and it's all over. I should've gone on more dates."
"That's not a good sign, he's mumbling and walking backwards at the same time."
"Time flies when you're taunting Yusuke mercilessly."
Jin:
"You're crazy Urameshi! The hell was that?! You don't make bombs go boom in yer face!"
"Saw biggy flying up all the way high and past, almost lost it."
Itsuki:
"Shit! Hurry up and kill Urameshi!"
Kido:
"I heard you were headstrong Urameshi, that's just a nicer way to say you're stupid."
Koto:
"Well they've burnt their skin, shortened their breath, and somehow both lost their shirts. All in all I'd say this was a victory."
Group Quotes
Kuwabara: I have the feeling that I'll win!
Hiei: And I have the feeling that you'll die...
Botan: A boy and girl, alone in the woods together...
Keiko: I'm not that kind of girl Botan!
Botan: I know a nosy diary-reading kitten who says otherwise!
Yusuke: What?! Do you play video games?
Genkai: What did you think I was doing with all that free time?
Kurama: And all the while we've thought you were a brilliant strategist. Really, you're just a lucky fool.
Yusuke: Hey, watch it fox-boy! What's that word mean anyway?!
Kurama: A strategist is someone who uses his brain.
Yusuke: Hey!
Kuwabara: I'm not ugly, okay?!
Hiei: Nice last words.
Yusuke: Well, everything's coming up roses.
Kuwabara: It smells girly...I don't think I like it.
Yusuke: Oh, so I guess he should be a tough guy like you and be obsessed with kittens.
Hiei: I can't just watch you be killed right in front of me.
Kurama: Okay then...go somewhere else.
Kuwabara: Ahh!! Earthquake!
Hiei: You can't have an earthquake on the water you fool!
Yusuke: Kurama, how are you doing?
Kurama: I'm fine, almost recovered entirely, tomorrow I'll be on 100%.
Hiei: Yeah right, stubbornness...
Kurama: Well, I'm no match for you in the category of stubbornness...
Hiei: Well, as it turns out he�s only partially worthless.
Kuwabara: Okay, wanna die?
Hiei: I dare you.
Kuwabara: You see what I can do, Urameshi? I don�t need to use the tip of that wooden sword to make it work anymore. It�s just my pure energy. And I bet it could kick the crap out of your Spirit Gun!
Yusuke: That depends on what finger I use.
Hiei: My attack expired.
Yusuke & Kuwabara: Expired?!
Hiei: I don�t know if your brains can imagine it, but this attack drained a good deal of my energy. (yawns) I�ll require some hibernation to get it back. Think you can manage finding a safe place for my body where it won�t get stepped on?
Yusuke: Did you say hibernate?
Kuwabara: Fancy word for being lazy.
Hiei: Listen to me as closely as you can, you two. I�m trusting you against my better instincts only because I have no other choice. Take care of the Toguro Brothers. If I wake up and we�ve lost, I swear I�ll kill you all... (faints)
Kurama: (laughs)
Yusuke: That�s Hiei for you. He faints but he still has time for death threats!
Kuwabara: Hold on. So nothing we do will wake him up?
Koenma: Not long ago he was on a streak of terror. If he had this power then, it would have been disastrous. Now, it�s our asset.
Kuwabara: Can I give him a mustache?
Kuwabara: I thought about what you said before Toguro. And you're right, I got no way of knowing where your vital organs are hiding. So I'll just pound everything all at once.
Older Toguro: Stay back!
Kuwabara: Well, since we're sharing here, my mother always wanted me to be an exterminator. So now it's time to make her proud of me! Spirit Flyswatter!
Kuwabara: Don't try with the guilt trips, Urameshi! My manly power is what carried us! When have you ever saved me?
Yusuke: Oh, I'm sorry, I can't count them all...I only have ten fingers!
Kuwabara: You cocky little...
Okubo: So do they like or hate each other?
Komada: Something tells me they were an old married couple in their former life.
Botan: Sure, the only questions is, who was the husband and who was the wife?