THE END TIMES
VOLUME III || ISSUE 1 || OCTOBER 5, 2005
October 8, 2005: The Day the World Will End!
True Nature of the New Business Center Revealed!
New ID Cards Mark of the Beast?
October 8, 2005:
The Day the World Will End!
Many have stopped in wonder at the new, cryptic statue positioned between the Student Center
and the caf. This ominous piece of art depicts the hands of God hovering over the Earth with
one prophetic inscription: October 8, 2005.
"JBU tries to steer away from overt messages of 'fire and brimstone,'" said one campus official. "We figured we would try something a little more subtle." This new turn of events has led many to prepare for the worst. "I'm a pre- tribulationist," says one student, "but just in case I'm wrong and the post-trib folks are right, I'm going in with some other guys to get a portable bomb shelter. You can make one pretty easily just be renting out one of those storage units like the one I kept some of my furniture in over the summer. With a few minor adjustments, BOOM! Instant homemade fallout shelter. But I really wish the university would provide something as well."
There has been speculation that the Business Center was actually designed for such a purpose. For the time being, JBU waits in breathless silence as the day of reckoning draws near. "We just need to be sure that the machines don't use this opportunity to take over," says freshman John Conner. "If the computers gain self-awareness, the human race could quickly be wiped out, and who know what could happen then." Who knows indeed?
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