THE END TIMES
VOLUME III || ISSUE 1 || OCTOBER 5, 2005
October 8, 2005: The Day the World Will End!
True Nature of the New Business Center Revealed!
New ID Cards Mark of the Beast?
JBU Builds Highway to Hell
"For the Gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction". During construction
on the Valley Road recently a bulldozer inadvertently unearthed a mysterious portal. "Quite
possible we have created the first highway to hell" suggested contractor Darrell Bennett.
"We thought our asphalt supplier just had a wacky marketing department when they told us
their new blend used human souls for a longer lasting material." Experts are baffled by
the supernatural phenomenon, the best suggestion so far is that the Valley of the Shadow
of Death was not a metaphor in Psalm 23. School officials are uncertain how the problem
will be addressed. "We thought we were doing the right thing by green lighting this
project" a committee spokesperson declared. This only goes to show that the road to hell
truly is paved with good intentions.
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