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Seven - A Mitre 10 TaleA story Steph and I wrote one day at Mitre 10. Kate's parts are in blue, and Steph's are in red. One day Steph bought a jar of love � or what she thought was a jar of love. What a pickle of a situation! It all started one fine day in early spring... Steph woke up really early and got ready for a hard day at work in the orchard. She worked with fellow retard Kate, she went to pick her up and... She had forgotten (how silly of her!) that in a desperate bid to fit in with her friend, the bolt cutter, she had eaten her car! So she started weeping, and throwing apples at the naughty bolt cutter. The bolt cutter jumped up and yelled, �Arrest those men� in which time a PoliceMan turned up � but he had forgotten his clothes!... Which everyone thought was great. Katie had bought music with her so the Policeman did a dance to the macarena. Everyone applauded and Steph told the police man he could handcuff her anyday. So he did... He ate a chunk of her arm! Seems like he didn�t understand Steph�s cryptic message. Steph didn�t mind though, as that particular chunk of arm was the one infested with flesh eating disease � the policeman was dead before she even realised! So Steph went out to lunch to calm her woes, and ran into an old friend... Rico who ate dead cats for a living. They basically hung out talking about the life cycle of dead bats. After their conversation about loose underpants they went and met up with Kate again and went and saw a movie but Rico got run over by a Maniac Grandpa on the run. Kate and Steph cried over the loss of Rico and then ate her feet so... they both got sick � Nurse Falangey had to make a hat entirely out of tinfoil unless Steph would die! But she couldn�t be bothered. So Jason (sexy and smooth) made one � and Steph lived! However, she had grown seven new legs! What would become of her?... With her new legs, Steph went on to compete in seven legged races and won a multitude of times put her name in the �Book Of Stupidity� where she became famous and ate doughnuts all day long. But when her friends found out they... decided to punish her � using a method not known to people since the 1900s � being chained to an elephant�s leg! My gosh! So Steph was tied to Humphrey�s leg for seven whole hours � in which time all of her legs fell off. She was worse off than when she started. But Superman brought her 700 litres of soup to make her grow more legs � this only resulted in the growth of 7 breasts... She started her own business of milk called �Steph�s Milk Bar� and her slogan was �The Milks On Me�. She soon became really popular with heaps of customers. One of her customers was this man (very cute) called Larry. They fell in love and had a number of deranged children � called � Destiny, Chastity, Fidelity and Flexibility... Meanwhile Steph�s ex-husband Jonsonan was getting agitated � Steph had taken all of his hot pants in the divorce, and he was licensed. Licensed to�kill. Plus he was really hot � wearing regular pants got kind of warm. Steph was totally unaware of his intentions... and told him to piss off because even thought they both shared a love of hotpants, Steph was sick of Jonsonans stories that were pointless and made her go to sleep so she got a divorce and won heaps of money... Then everyone�s heads fell off, and the world could sleep again. If only for a while... |
