Notable,
Quotable
Mommo
|
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 |
|
"People call me at work and tell me the color of their mucus. How'd you like that job. They also tell me about their hemorrhoids, constipation and vaginal itches. You'd probably laugh at them but I write it down and give it to the Doctors. They get paid to solve these problems." in an letter, 12/05
"Samples of mucus do not interest me." in an e-mail to Nancy, 12/05
"Let me know if the aliens contact you." in the same e-mail to Nancy, 12/05
"Please give Phoebe's house back Elena. The cat god is watching you." note to Elena, 11/05
"Please check my soap schedule. The girls hid my TV in the closet last night and ruined the taping schedule. Please help me. Revenge is mine." note to Dad, 10/05
"I like those cats with long white fur that sit and stare at you all day and want something out of crystal to eat." 10/05
"I shouldn't laugh at your incompetence." after much laughing, 10/05
"She's good. She's shrinking." on Grandma, 10/05
"My poof is not cooperating today." 10/05
"He's the Son of Turd." on Dave, 9/05
"Gentlemen, I will treat you to dinner tonight, because I am a the winner and you are the losers." to Dad and Dave, after the 'four
aces' incident at Foxwoods, 9/05 "You don't really need arms. Arms are superfluous." 8/05
"She is perfectly picked to live in our house." regarding the cat, 8/05
"I'm a mucazoid." (pron. MYOO-ka-zoid) 8/05
"Power to all cats similar to Phoebe!" in a note, 8/05
"Perfume renders me superior to other smelly homosapiens." 8/05
"Vanilla abstract." instead of vanilla extract, 7/05
"What's the world coming to when mucus runs rampant over my heart?" 7/05
"Footfree and fancyloose" 7/05
"I don't like to wait for oncoming traffic." after risky left turn, 7/05
"It won't kill you, Nancy. If it does, well, goodbye." regarding butter I found in the fridge
that had expired in Oct. 2002, 6/05 "I'm dead. You can't see me. But you can see me. I'm in a different dimension." 6/05
"I can tell by the way he touches the flowers." how Mommo knows Sunny
the florist is gay, 6/05 "You can't have popcorn because the cat is bothered by the smell. I am the cat." 5/05
"I'm not looking at porn! I want to look at porn..." 5/05
"All those free books! What a good buy." 5/05
"Too much hidden meaning in this one." on Lot 49, 5/05
"They are almost too white." on Laura's teeth, 5/05
"I just look at my honey bear and think of good things."  5/05
"I thought it was a book about aliens. I didn't know what the hell was 'screaming across the sky'." on why Mommo stopped
reading Gravity's Rainbow, 5/05 "I married a booger." 4/05
"She might have a SPED rat." on Eam's sister's rat, who can't
be trained to finish a maze, 4/05 "You did that to me. I'm getting out of here." to dad, immediately following
the white buffalo incident, 4/05 "Look at those guys. They think they're so important. Look at them with their golf carts." on golfers, 4/05
"There's something for the mantel back home." on a 2 million-year-old cave bear skull being
displayed in a store window in Boulder, 4/05 "I'm gonna get you an eyebrow pencil. You need to fill in your eyebrows." contemplatively, to dad, over breakfast, 4/05
"Fat is good. Don't knock fat." 4/05
"It's like sleeping, only you're awake" on watching TV, 4/05
"I love war. It keeps the economy going." 4/05
"We had better imaginations in my day. And we weren't retarded." 3/05
"I don't really know what I say. I'm just ad-libbing all this stuff. Except for the thing about sucking the government dry." on the Mommo Quotes, 3/05
"You're reading that communist rag?" to Dave, with a huff of disdain, as he
read the university newspaper, 3/05 "I got my unemployment check today. I'm suckin' the government dry!" while snickering, 3/05
"I have a lot of things to do. I have to read my book. I have to hit your head." to Dave, 3/05
"Only classy people read the New York Times." 3/05
"I'm gonna be a world traveler. How about you?" tauntingly, to Dave, 3/05
"See this lady, here. She's your mother. You're a black man." While showing Dave a photo of
an African-American woman, 2/05 "People do dirt dances in here at night." While sweeping the kitchen floor, 2/05
"If I was going to be electrocuted, the last thing I'd want is a jelly donut from Dunkin Donuts... That should increase their [Dunkin Donuts'] business... You can put that in the Mommo Diaries." 1/05
"It's the lesbian cartel." while watching Jerry Springer, 1/05
|