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| NikKi's Place |
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she could love you." Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." "Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days, yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip." "Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had Diah (*crossed out*), diahoah (*crossed out*), dyah (*crossed out*), the shits." Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. Yo Mamma is so smelly, a blind man walking by her asked, "How much for the shrimp platter?" Yo Mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most" Yo Mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V. you miss out on 3 commercials! Yo Mama's so fat; it took 25 minutes to download a picture of her from the Internet. Yo Mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail. Yo Mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it. Yo Mama's so stupid; her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors. A man's wife left him one day she went out to buy some milk and never came back. Man' s friends: Hi are you okay after what happened? Man: Yeah I've got some of the powdered stuff in. A woman went into a sex shop to look for a dildo. She looked for one that she wanted to have and found one, Woman: I'll have the tartan one please. Sex shop owner: Sorry, you can't have that, that's my flask. What do you get if you cross viagara with laxatives? Shit in bed! |
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