Jill Bee used to teach art and eco-terrorism. She narrowly avoided a prison sentance for destroying a nearby GM crops trail field.
Mick Bee was a hugely popular neoconservative who regularly preached the virtues of the Bible, capitalism and good old-fashioned family values.
Sylvester Beecroft is a key player in the Room 12 management team, the ringleader of the French teaching possy, the volleyball team coach, and winner of last year's prestigious "Cheesy Smile of the Year" award.
Charles Birtwistle was our cocky games teacher, I understand he has left for pastures new. Despite getting 5 A Levels (in the old days when they were well 'ard) and a biochemistry degree, he chose to teach games. What a muppet.
Julie Bolter is currently the head of maths and helped John and Lloyd through their A Levels, in our day she used to rule the Sixth Form till she realised that herding sleepy cattle into morning talks every Thursday was terribly dull work.
Dave Cursons has been at St Chris longer than the age of most modern African states and hence knows more old scholars than everyone else. He was one of our biggest supporters and gave us a lot of encouragement, although he did once write in to complain that we had published an article containing real news!
Simon Davies was a popular biology teacher and film junkie. He also set up a play reading club that many pretentious Sixth Formers attended regularly. Contrary to popular opinion, he was never a Rastafarian.
Graham Gorton was the head of the Junior School. We rarely had contact with him, but somehow he managed to creep into our pages.
Dave Gouldstone is an English teacher and occasional actor and jazz musician. Many recall with fondness the varied jazz and anti-religious talks he gave. How he ended up in charge of the religion department, nobody quite ever figured out.
Edwin Gruber is a legend, simply because he had a really funny laugh. He also wrote poetry, climbed Himalayan Mountains, visited India a lot, and taught German. A typical hippie, hence an easy target�
Anthony Harris is another maths teacher who lead John and Lloyd onto greater things. He spoke clearly and slowly (see issue 14), yet somehow we never understood a word he said.
kathie Martins was a wonderful head of special needs in my day, but sadly will always be remembered for creating the notorious Bertie the Bag Carrier.
Jane Miller is the really scary deputy head, and considered by many to be far too sensible for St Chris. I think Colin employed her to keep the school on the right side of the law.
Andy Owen has sadly left which is a real loss to the physics department. I am not at liberty to publish most of what was said in his (all male) physics classes at a risk of ending his prestigious career.
Tony Parry is the recently retired head of maths. He was notoriously camera shy, we only ever got him once.
Colin Reid If you haven't worked out who this chap is by now, you never will.
Betsy Reid is our headmaster's wife, another environmental warrior, and inventor of the world famous compost-heap-in-a-dustbin-full-of-worms-gizmo.
Dennis Rix has a beard. That's all you need to know. (He was also head of English and now has been lost to senior management)
Andy Selkirk teaches biology and fills in forms. I thought he was OK, Lloyd thought that he needed horlicks.
Pat Thermistokli was a red rag to our satirical bull. She once hid in a cupboard (sorry, "Time Machine") with a toy echo-microphone and emerged claiming that she was a Blackshirt working for Benito Mussolini. Word soon got round that she was completely mad, and she was duly promoted soon after.
Mike Thurgur was also a history teacher, except madder.
Ben Wall was a good sport, although was adverse to spying on smokers with binoculars. He is now a houseparent at Arunwood..
Richard Watkins used to teach physics, badly. He now does geeky computer things, and probably earns more than my parent's mortgage.
Terry Watson teaches really hard subjects such as physics and electronics. And he's Irish. Isn't that strange?
Roz Wilson is head of lower school, Queen of the 'Wombles', a drama teacher and frequently feeds meat to students. She won't last much longer!
THE STUDENTS
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Raph Beecroft it would be unfair not to mention one of our proof-readers, Sylvester's daughter, who was once-upon-a-time very close to Lizzie and John. She is now at Leeds reading modern languages.
Lizzie Bick is one of the few girls that actually spoke to us. Lizzie likes drama, singing and sitting on her stool spouting pretentious crap (i.e. philosophy). She is now practically married and lives in the Home Counties with a mortgage. Scary.
Tom Boyd was one of the earlier journalists responsible for the back pages. I've no idea where he is now, any ideas Dave?
Nick Brown is the only one who's really made it. He's at Oxford doing engineering and mountaineering.
John Collins. John is a geek. Find out more about him here.
Owen Cross. Owen is anything but a geek. See more here.
George Cort Is the younger brother of the Reverend James Cort and the only chum who still attends St Chris.
Jonathan Dawe has changed quite a bit since he left St Chris. Last I heard he was selling monkeys in Thailand.
Lloyd Evans. I still haven't worked out what Lloyd is yet. More enlightenment can be found here.
Richard Lewis is a bohemian cynic who contributed to our commentary pages, he was brilliant at complaining. I understand he is now reading film studies in London.
Andrew Pearlman is power crazy and deserves to be shot. Last I heard, he was studying politics at York. Lizzie and John have vowed to join the opposition if this individual makes it anywhere near ministerial position.
Liam Pollard used to be a bit of an arsehole, but has since turned out to be a most delightful human being. After graduating from Durham with a philosophy degree, Liam is now working as a house tutor at St Christopher School. Scary.
Peter Pickard was always around to reassure us that Lloyd's sense of humour wasn't actually that sick. I gather he is moving on to university shortly.
Chris "Raptor" Rouse Chris, if you're out there, please get in touch!
Guido Rumball I haven't heard from Guido for years, but he deserves a mention as he wrote a few very silly articles for us in the early days.
Kai Robinson is a dictionary definition of bone idle and currently lives in Brittany. Latest reports seem to suggest that he is considering returning to the UK.
Hannah Tweddell was always around but never quite there. She is now studying advanced Hippie studies in Bradford.
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