A Biography of Colonel LLOYD TREVOR MARMADUKE TIM JOHN EVANS BSc.
Colonel Evans is most known particularly in Bermuda for his great diligence to the God of Explosions, Thermite Dave.
Personal explosions of particular note include the wilful destruction of Letchworth Garden City Council property, namely several refuse bins, the construction of many
home made artillery shells and subsequent demolition of a wall and a small bush with said explosives. Also noted is the construction of several Molotov Cocktails,
some containing napalm (also home made).
During his spell at St. Christopher High Security Mental Hospital, the good Colonel had the good fortune to come across
a set of rebellious literature entitled �The Village Idiot�, originally produced by Rev. Cames Jort and Javid Danes. Thus spurred on by the pure insanity encountered
while perusing the organ (his brain), the good Colonel proceeded to form a cult known as the Asylum Times People�s Front, a guerrilla group attracted membership throughout the inmate population. Under the command of the Good Colonel, an underground newspaper was printed using an underground photocopier (OK, so it wasn�t, we just stole the staff�s photocopier and hid it down a hole). These events attracted the attention of the highest authority, and subsequently a decision was taken to transfer the Good Colonel to an even higher security institute, given the unofficial code name The University of Sussex at Brighton and Stove. Through continued correspondence with his new General, Prime Minister and head of London Transport Minister Collins, and riding the wave of the new and ever so sparkly technological revolution, the underground organ became transmogrified into a form which could infect any computer in the land with fits of giggles and much other mind absorbing silliness. The Good Colonels current whereabouts are unknown, although there have been rumours of his sightings in Uzbekistan and the seedier parts of Bangkok.
When questioned, one of the Good Colonels former employees, Dr. Delia Cross Esquire, said that the Colonel was certainly still involved in the Underground Asylum movement, and that the general public should be on the lookout for a possible surprise attack of Teletubby postcards. He then ran of screaming that the world was about to erupt in a volcano of purple grape juice, and that the best strategy was to hide as running would get you nowhere.
References:
"The Journey to Wogan International" (Evans, Lloyd)
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