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Water by Brent K.
Would you like to make some money?
Start your own water company!
Everyone seems to be doing it these days.
There are so many different water companies now, like Abita Springs, Dannon, Dasani, Evian, Kentwood, Naya, etc., etc. They each claim their spring produces better water than other springs.
Every human being needs water to survive, but the question arises, "What kind of water will I drink?" A few years ago, some genius came up with the idea to sell bottled water. Now, it seems like everyone prances around sporting his/her bottle of Dasani, or some other kind of sparkling water.
Any time the average Joe takes a hike through the forest and stumbles upon a spring, a new company is soon founded. But he does not name his water something interesting, he gives it a stupid name, like Dasani. Then, he produces a unique mold for his plastic bottle. Every company's bottle is unique in shape and stupid in name.
What is wrong with tap water?
All I hear from out-of -towners is how bad the water in this city is. Is the water in other cities actually that much better than the water here in New Orleans? It tastes exactly the same as spring water. Although, some say that tap water does not have all the minerals and nutrients as spring water. I know certain individuals can argue forever that there actually is a difference in the taste. Please, water is water, give or take a few deposits of lead and iron.
Well, I have a solution for you. Make your own tap water spring! All you need for this is a hose, a piece of pipe, a hammer, and a piece of ground. First, hammer the piece of pipe straight into the ground. Then, take the pipe out of the ground and throw it at Barney the purple dinosaur. Next, stick the hose all the way down the hole you have just made, and turn on the water. Wait a few minutes, and water will come gushing up from the ground. You have just made a homemade spring with tap water. But it is not tap water any more because it has collected all the great minerals from the ground, which makes it great sparkling spring water!
If you do not like the taste of tap spring water, then try making snow water. Just go up north and put some snow in a bottle. Presto! Sparkling snow water. You can even goes as far as to fly in an airplane and collect the snow as it falls, this way the snow will be pure and not yellow.
One thing is certain about the water in New Orleans, it does go through some kind of purification process. This is fact because the water in the Mississippi River is brown, but when it comes out the faucet, it is clear. Cities that get their tap water from crystal rivers in the mountains could easily not clean their water and the residents would never know. In the book A Civil Action, the people had beautiful creeks, but there was something wrong with their drinking water.
The bottom line is that you do not need to waste money buying bottled water because the tap water here in New Orleans is perfectly legit.
At least we don't have egg water!
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