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Tripping by Brent K.
Have you ever tripped and felt really stupid afterwards?
People are constantly making fools out of themselves, but it is okay because everyone does it.
Actually there are three different types of trips: the True Trip, the Stumble, and the Miss.
The True Trip usually results in the most embarrassment. It is the most common form of tripping, and the most funny to watch.
It begins with a random person walking. This person could be going anywhere. He might have an important meeting to go to, or he could be headed to get some gummy bears. As he approaches a bump or an object in the middle of his path, he is looking aimlessly around him. With absolutely no idea of what is going to happen, he kicks the crack or object right before his heel makes contact with the ground. A bystander watches in slow motion as the innocent person's torso flies forward as fast as a bullet. He will usually stabilize his body very fast, but sometimes the worst can happen; he falls on the ground. When on the ground, he has two choices: act like he is hurt and get sympathy, or jump up real fast and get out of dodge.
The Stumble is the simplest of all the trips. Again, it begins with our random person walking about. He looks around, waving to people, when, suddenly, he stumbles forward. The Stumble is caused when the foot prematurely hits the ground. He then has the option of looking around to see if anyone noticed, or stare straight at the ground and walk away. Although he thinks everyone looks at him, no one cares about the harmless Stumble.
The rarest of the trips is the Miss. It is a form of tripping that science has trouble explaining. One thing is for sure, it is the opposite of the Stumble, but its result has the potential to be catastrophic. This time as the random person steps, he missees the ground. The only way to describe it is to say he slipped on an invisible banana. This invisible slip sends a shrilling shriek throughout his body, as he crashes butt-first on the ground. Sometimes, he will not fall, but the fact that he almost fell will scar him for life. No one knows why the foot misses the ground, but it is certain that the person tripping receives a giant scare.
Tripping can be the cause of a great deal of embarrassment, so you must know how to play it off.
If you perform a True Trip, just look at everyone around you and smile. You can even throw in a joke like, "That's what happens when you're blind in both eyes!" The important thing is to stay calm, and make sure everyone around you laughs with you, not at you. Do not run your hand through your hair and scratch the back of your head! Then, people will know that you feel stupid, and that you are trying to play it off, but you do not know how to do it correctly.
When you Stumble, keep walking as if nothing happened. Forget about it and move on. No one cares if you Stumble.
If you perform a Miss, first, collect your thoughts and stabilize your body. Then, look around at the ground, as if trying to understand the physics of what just happened. Finally, look in the direction of the people around you, but not in their eyes. When you look, you should have an expression that says, "What in the world happened. At least I'm okay." Keep the look for about 10 seconds, and, then, put the incident behind you and move on. Remember, everyone trips. So, if you witness someone trip, just say, "It's okay, I do it, too."
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