Incidental disclaimer: I'd like to add that artsandcrafts . com exists and is not mine. Er...yeah.

ESM: Ah, Here we go again. Merry get you your chocolate, Leggy?
Legolas: (from the door) Argh!
ESM: Well, you have till she stops thanking the academy.

Thanks to those who reviewed!
Shimmering Omens: You like balls, eh? Well, I'm warning you, it might not be as good as you expect...
Cap'n Jack Sparrow: Aw, thank you so much for reviewing!
Bri-hottie: Thank you so much for reviewing!
Disclaimer: See chapter 2

Elrohir: Do we have to, ESM?
ESM: No. (adds wickedly) Unless you three misbehave. Legolas, quit trying to squeeze out the...turnabout...thing... and get over here!
Legolas: Argh.

When we entered the ballroom, everyone stopped what he or she was doing,

ESM: They were primarily throwing balls at each other.

Ya know, kinda like in Cinderella when she enters the ballroom.

ESM: Have you guys heard of Cinderella?
Elladan: No. Was she ugly?

They gaped at me as I walked over to a corner, where Arwen was, with a hot looking guy

ESM: (hot looking guy) Would somebody please turn on the air conditioner!

drooling over her,

Elrohir: That is gross.

whom I presumed was Aragorn.

Elladan: Estel? He wouldn't really be doing that to my sister, would he?
Legolas: You'd be surprised.
ESM: Well, she isn't really your sister, Dan. She's Lune's sister.

Arwen seemed to enjoy the attention, though...

Legolas: She was revelling in the drool puddles.
ESM/the twins: EeeeeeeeeeW!

I cleared my throat,

Legolas: (Luneissil) Sorry, hairball.

causing both Arwen and Aragorn to look up.

ESM: Their faces were, of course, covered in drool.

I quickly conversed in Greek, a language we both fluently knew. "Ela! Prepi na miloume, (Come! We must talk)" I said to my sister, who nodded.

Legolas: (Luneissil) Not talk, but drown you in the river and myself too!

We both excused ourselves to the very confused males

Elladan: Legolas was very confused.

and quickly made our way to the gardens. I decided to question Arwen about her new love interest. "So...what's he like?" I asked her eagerly.

Legolas: (Arwen) Welllll, he smells, and doesn't groom, and he drools an awful lot...

"Aragorn? Oh, he's such a sweetie!" Arwen squealed, making a dreamy face,

ESM: Instructions available at artsandcrafts. com.

which looked pretty weird on her considering she's always had a serious face on.

ESM: Available at the corner grocery store for a buck fifty.

"Good for you, Arwen!" I beamed at her.

Elrohir: (Luneissil) You are so good at making those dreamy faces!
ESM: (Luneissil)You should start a boutique.

She looked back to where Aragorn was longingly.

Elladan: (Arwen) Oh dear need more drool else will wither and melt.
Elrohir: Huh? Oh! I get it.
Legolas: You got me.

I smiled and let her go to him. But before she went, she asked me,

Elladan: (Arwen) Don't you need some drool?

"Aren't you coming?"
"I will," I assured her, though I wasn't really going to go.

ESM: LIAR! Liar liar liar liar! Humperdinck! (chuckles) Love that movie.
Elves: Huh?
Elrohir: ESM, you need to stop it with the obscure movie references.
ESM: Unobscure movie reference. Just because you guys won't watch the movies I give you doesn't mean they're obscure! (Elrohir thows up his arms in defeat.)

Honestly, I could've sworn Arwen had swayed on the way to the ballroom.

ESM: There was no doubt about it. She was doing drugs again.

Or maybe it was the punch... Oh, this is just great! Now I've got no one to talk to but these stupid trees...

Legolas: (Trees) Stupid? We're smarter than a Mary Sue!!!

Don't elves always do that?

Elladan: Do what?
ESM: Talk to trees.
Elrohir: Not always, no. Once in a while.

"Ahem..." I spun around and saw

Legolas: A drool-covered spider escaping from the ballroom.

Legolas standing behind me.

Elrohir: (Luneissil) Only now he was in front of me.
All: (laughing)

"What?" I asked, my tone slightly snappish. Damn balls.

Legolas: Can I kill you?

"Your father has requested your

Legolas: Death, fiend!

presence, arwenamin," he said, ignoring my tone.

Legolas: Actually I was hoping to use her mood to my advantage.

"Must I?" I whined, making puppy eyes,

ESM: Instructions available at artsandcrafts. com

desperately hoping it would work. "You know there is no escaping your father, Luneissil,"

Legolas: Except through death. Come on. You know you want to.
ESM: Goodgrief, Legolas. You really are getting venomous! Legolas: I can tell when the situation is getting worse.

Legolas replied with a twinkle in his eye, totally unaffected. "Oh fine, I'll go," I sighed, giving in.
In the ballroom...

Elrohir: They were still throwing balls at each other.

King Thranduil's POV

Elrohir: POV?
ESM: POV. Point of view. This is going to be very confusing.

"Don't they make a fine couple, King Thranduil?" Lord Elrond asked me thoughtfully as he watched his daughter and my son come back from the gardens. "Yes, they do..." I answered with a hinting tone in his voice. He looked at Elrond and we both nodded.

ESM: Ummmmmm. Did you guys get that?
Elladan: No.
Legolas: (King Thranduil) These spiders...they're crawling...I have a problem with spiders...
ESM: Huh? Getting a little off-topic here, aren't we?
Elrohir: Why are you making fun of your father, Legolas?

"Ada, you asked for my presence?"

ESM: Ask, and ye shall receive!

We both turned to see Luneissil looking at Elrond expectantly. "Please, Luneissil, at least dance with three or four of the suitors," Elrond pleaded.

Elladan: Elrond. Does. Not. Plead.
Elrohir: Except with Grandma.
Legolas: I just realized that 'Luneissil' sounds remakably like 'lunacy'.
ESM: Yes, genius boy.
Legolas: Argh.

My POV

ESM: Ah! Back to her point of view again.

Did he say...

Elrohir: Spiders?

dance? What the hell was he thinking? I couldn't dance!!!

ESM: Especially not under the influence.

But before I knew it, Legolas pulled me to the

Legolas: River and drowned her.

dance floor and wrapped one hand around my thin

Legolas: Neck.

waist and the other hand holding mine.

Legolas: Now, we will edge out of the ballroom, over to the river, and drow�
ESM: That is ENOUGH, Legolas! Or do you want to read it all over again? (Legolas cowers)

Music started playing,

ESM: (singing) The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout! Down came the rain and washed the spider out! Out came the sun and...(ESM notices the Elves are staring at her furiously) Don't look at me like that! I can sing if I want to.
Legolas: (pointedly) No. You can't.

and I immediately panicked. But my feet seemed to know what to do,

Legolas: Feet have a mind of their own.

so I relaxed a bit. Legolas flashed me one of those 'I'm- so-hot' smiles

ESM: Elrohir, is Rivendell air conditioned?
Elrohir: Nope.
Elladan: What is an 'I'm-so-hot' smile, anyway?
Legolas: Argh.

as we twirled around the floor.

Elrohir: Tripping on balls, drool and spiders.

"You've gotten better," he commented as he dipped me.

Legolas: In chocolate.

"At what?" I asked when he pulled me up.

Legolas: Getting ready to snap...(ESM glares at Legolas)...buttons?
Elladan: Er, was that supposed to mean something?
Legolas: Argh.

"Dancing," Legolas replied. I giggled as he kissed my hand, though I could've sworn that his lips had lingered for a few seconds.

Elrohir: He was drooling. (Legolas punches Elrohir)

Legolas gently took my arm and

Legolas: Wrenched it.

led me to the table. I sat between Legolas and Elladan, or was it Elrohir? I couldn't tell. 'You should know...you're his sister,' a little voice nagged in my head.

Elladan: My sister? But she's not even from Middle-Earth!

'But I'm not even from this world,' I argued back at the voice.

(ESM and Legolas exchange glances)
ESM: All hail the psychic in our midst! '

That's what you think...' the voice snickered nastily. What the hell was that stupid little voice talking about?

Elrohir: Spiders.

Oh my god, I'm talking to myself! Talking to myself is a bad, bad thing...

ESM: This, kids, is why you shouldn't do drugs.

After 'daddy' made his little speech, we started eating. I'm not much of a heavy eater, but I couldn't stop eating!

Legolas: (Luneissil) In other words, I'm not, but I am.

God, the food was kinda like water, you can't get enough of it and it couldn't fill you up that much.

ESM: (announcer) Rejoice. Rejoice. Looneygirl has established communication lines with God. She is now chatting about the watery food of Rivendell.
Elrohir: Weeeeell.
Elladan: Have you nothing else to say?
Elrohir: No.

When I finished,

ESM: talking to God

Elrond had me meet some...suitors.

ESM: They took all sorts of measurements. I was to have a new navy blue suit.
Legolas: Those are tailors.
ESM: (exploding) I KNOW THAT!
Legolas: Okay, okay. My mistake.

If you can call them suitors... Some of them were too serious, like

Elladan: (Luneissil) They were about to either kill me or give me a boxful of spiders.

they were forbidden to smile. When Elrond took me to this way-too-serious-and-freaky elf,

ESM: Would you believe it, I know who Looneygirl means by that description:
Legolas: Told ya you're a Mary Sue at heart.
ESM: It's...Legolas!
Legolas: Argh. (The twins snicker)

I looked at Arwen pleadingly, who just smirked,

Elrohir: (Luneissil) and drooled.

and then I glanced at Legolas, terrified. He gave me a reassuring smile

ESM: Available at the corner grocery store for 89 cents.

and walked over to where I was with Mr. Freaky- freaky-elf. "May I borrow her for a few minutes?" Legolas asked Elrond and Mr. Freaky- freaky-elf.

Legolas: (nonchalantly) Of course, if I lose her in the river, I'm not going to pay or anything.
ESM: (warningly) Legolas....

They nodded, though Mr. Freaky-freaky-elf did so reluctantly.

Elladan: Really? Freaky-freaky is right then! Who wants a slutty Elfgirl?
ESM: You have no idea.

I smiled with relief as Legolas led me away from the pair. "Thanks for that,"

ESM: (Luneissil) Massage.

I whispered to Legolas. "Anything for a friend," he whispered back, sending chills down my spine.

Legolas: Paralysis ensued, followed almost immediately by de�
ESM: STOP THAT!

"Would you like me to escort you to your room?" I nodded, glad that he asked.

ESM: (Luneissil) Afterall, it wouldn't be seemly for him to come without asking permission.
Elrohir: Huh?
ESM: (Luneissil) Especially taking into consideration my clothes and lack thereof. Sends...messsages...bad.
Elrohir: Yeah...

Legolas led me down the complicated hallways and finally stopped in front of a door.

Elladan: (Luneissil) Little did I know that this door led to the Rivendell armory, where in the dark of the night it was very easy to trip and fall on something sharp...

I thanked him and gave him a friendly peck on the cheek. I saw

Elrohir: (Luneissil) Blood! It's alive! Aaaaaa!

him blush and laughed.

ESM: Cold-hearted Sue.

"Good night, Legolas," I said softly as I shut the door.

ESM: In Legolas's face.

A/N: OK, guys! That was my longest chapter so far! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!

(Legolas stares at the text gloomily)
Legolas: This is all you're getting from me!
ESM: Ah well. I might go review sometime later. Next chapter.