Time for one of those annoying author's notes. This is my first MST. Thanks Perepip for introducing me to MSTs...I shall be forever grateful...although anybody who chances to read this may not.
Disclaimer: The italicized items are unabridged from Saphire-gurl11's fanfic Destiny Calls, which I found some time ago on fanfiction.net. As far as I can tell, neither this story nor that screenname currently exist. I do not have permission.
::Four people enter a dimly lit theater and settle into the seats.::
Voice one: Alright, you can lock the door now!
::a muffled voice acknowleges. The dead bolt clicks.::
Voice two & three: Lock the door? Why?!
Voice four: Because....um...
Voice one: Really, it's for Legolas's benfit.
Legolas: Mine? This isn't another one about ME, is it? ESM...
Voice two & three: Hello? What's happening?
ESM: ::ignoring the twins:: Uhhh, To be honest I haven't really read it yet. So Elladan and Elohir might need the locked door too. Ready? ::The Elves swallow hard::
Elladan: We have no idea what we're doing, how can we know if we're ready?
ESM: You're right. It doesn't matter if you're ready. Role film!
DESTINY CALLS
ESM: ...Legolas!
Legolas: ::grunts::
::The twins look at her and the elf in mystification.::
ESM: ::sighs and hands them 'MSTs For Dummies, and a flashlight so they can see in the dark theater.::
Sapphire-gurl11
A/N:Um...I 'accidentally' deleted 'The Resurrection'!
Legolas: Okay.
I'm sorry,
Legolas: (Sapphire-gurl11) For killing my goldfish!
ESM: (Sapphire-gurl11) For drooling all over my life-size Legolas standie.
Legolas: ::glares at ESM::
I know it was cowardly to give up just like that ::snaps fingers::.
ESM: (Sapphire-gurl11) yOWeee!!!!!
Elohir: What?
ESM: She snapped her fingers! Look at them dangle!
Legolas: You have a weird sense of humor.
Elladan&Elohir: (finally catching on) Eeeeeew. ESM...
ESM: Sorry.
It was my first time writing a story on and those reviews kinda shocked me, and I am only thirteen years old.
Legolas: Yeah. The STORIES on shock ME.
Elladan: Have mercy on the poor girl. She's only 13.
ESM: Heh. Wait till you see what 13yearolds can do.
I'm so sorry to those who practically wasted your time reviewing my story...Well, I hope you like this one...
Legolas: ::gulping:: Not likely.
ESM: How unfortunately ironic. Pass the popcorn. and I promise I won't delete!
Elohir: She promises she won't delete.
ESM: Wow. How do I 'delete'? Is that like detonate?
Legolas: You're not making any sense.
ESM: It sounds like she won't delete herself.
Elladan: Guess that means we can't hope for a suicide?
MARY SUE HATERS, BEWARE!!!
Legolas: (Sapphire-gurl11) You're off the edge of the map. Here there be Mary Sues!
ESM: Ayeaye, Cap'n. Ready with cannon!
Legolas: Fire when ready!
ESM: I just said I was ready!!!
Legolas: Uhhhhm. So fire!
::The twins ignore them and continue reading.::
Chapter 1 "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" BOOM!
ESM: This looks promising. You twins got the idea yet?
Elladan: Interject nonsense, sarcasm, and totally unconnected comments whenever?
Elrohir: Point out and have a heyday with plot holes?
ESM: Uhhh, yeah. I would have used more platitudes, but...yeah. That's okay for a novice.
Elladan: Got it.
Elohir: ::nods agreement::
Oh, this is just great. I landed in a tree out of nowhere!
Legolas: I hear the trees of Nowhere are quite comfy.
ESM: What I want to know is: how did the tree get out of Nowhere?
I held on to the thickest branch, terrified.
ESM: (speaker) Of the tiny spider that was quickly making its way towards me.
That was when I noticed I was wearing a dress...
Elohir: (speaker) Being somewhat preoccupied with the spider previously.
"THIS IS JUST MY DAY!!!" I yell to
Elladan: (speaker) The spider, who did not answer but moved slowly forward.
no one in particular.
Legolas: I suppose No-one lives in Nowhere particularly.
ESM: hehehe.
Legolas: Thank-you for that very constructive addition to our MST.
After climbing down the tree (which took me about an hour
ESM: (speaker) Because of the spider
in that dumb dress...), I walked around my surroundings.
ESM: Can you walk around your surroundings? (The Elves look at her blankly) Never mind.
Hey, it's not everyday you get to land in the middle of
Legolas: (speaker) Oz.
nowhere when going through your
Elladan: (speaker) brick wall.
mega sized wardrobe.
ESM: I feel sick. That line was just a bit TOO MUCH cheese!
I remember exactly how it happened...
(Flashback)
"Now...what should I wear for my date with the hottest guy in high school?"
ESM: Erm, something cool I suppose. And bring a fan. Might be good to have some cold bottled water on hand...stay in an air-conditioned room...
I asked myself quite conceitedly, I humbly add (that doesn't make any sense, does it?).
ESM: Well, it would, if you'd had a comma...wait a minute. Legolas: It doesn't make sense. MOVE ON.
Then all of a sudden, I fell headfirst into my closet and
Elohir: (speaker) bumped my head on the sewing machine.
probably passed out...I think?
ESM: (speaker) Therefore I am?
Then a freakishly beautiful lady appeared in front of me,
Legolas: Freakishly beautiful? Wha...?
ESM: Maybe she means like Galadriel's freakout in the movie. Legolas: You mean the one with Orlando Bloom?
ESM: Right on, studly.
Legolas: Don't call me that.
saying, "Welcome to
Elladan: (freakishly beautiful Lady) Oz.
Middle Earth."
(End of Flashback)
(Elladan and Elohir stare at the text in astonishment)
Elohir: In Middle-Earth?
Elladan: How?
ESM: Mary Sue magic. I've tried the closet gig. Never worked. Legolas: You tried?
ESM: :: blushes and points to the scrolling text.::
A different world with a whole new identity, a whole new life...for me, she explained to me.
ESM: (speaker) As I had just finished my 10 years of jail and drug rehab.
I got really pissed after finding out I've been walking around in circles.
ESM: When a dog does that...
Elves: ESM!!!
ESM: Sorry.
"Ah, there you are!" a voice exclaimed.
Elohir: It was the police.
I turned around and
Legolas: (speaker) bumped my head and killed myself.
saw a guy with long blond hair approaching me.
Legolas: It's Elladan!
Elladan: I have brown hair.
ESM: Looks blonde to me.
Elohir: He bleached it.
Elladan: ::glares at Elohir::
Elrohir: ::hides behind ESM::
ESM: That's enough, boys. Keep reading.
Alarm clocks were ringing in my head, screaming "Hottie on the loose!!!"
Legolas: (speaker, hastily) Hottie was the most feared police dog ever to sniff out dope. And the funny thing was that he seemed to know me...
ESM: (speaker) Well, he WAS the one who sniffed out the drugs in my luggage the first time...and the second time...
This should be interesting...
Legolas: Watch as he tears her to pieces.
ESM: NOW who's the sadist?
Legolas: (humbly) Sorry...these fangirls...do that to you...
"Uh...hi!" I waved to him. He smiled at my childish behaviour.
Elladan: What's wrong with waving?
ESM: Nothing.
Elladan: But...
"Come, Luneissil! Your father-er...Lord Elrond awaits you."
Elohir: Um. Lord Elrond?
Elladan: Her fatherer? Miss Mary Sue, if you know what's good for you, do NOT keep him waiting!
Legolas: Shht!
Luneissil? That was my name? Hm, whatever...and this 'Elrond' guy was my father?
Elladan: Elrond-guy???? (The twins faint)
I'll just play along and see what happens...
ESM: (Luneissil)...when I tickle him right here! (Legolas suddenly erupts in giggles, falling out of his seat on top of the unconsious twins. The three then get up. Legolas glowers.)
Legolas: I DARE you to do that again and live!
ESM: Relax! I won't do it again. I'd die from giggling.
I walked alongside him, trying to keep my cool. It was sooo hard not to! I mean if you were standing next to the hottest guy in all your life, would you be able to???
ESM: Waaait. Let me get this straight. Keeping cool because that's a really hot guy...it was really hard not to keep cool. Elohir: I think she must have not meant to put the not in there. Legolas: I am SO confused now.
ESM: Me too. (to Luneissil) No, if the guy was radiating body heat or something, it would be pretty hard to keep cool.
Nah, didn't think so.
ESM: ....
When we arrived at a large oak door, he ushered me in. I saw another guy, and he looked...well...not old! I mean, aren't fathers supposed to be old looking?
ESM: Interesting. How'd she know he was a father?
Elladan: Legolas ushered her in.
"Ada," I said politely, not knowing the word had slipped out of my mouth. Strange. I thought I said, "Father"...
Elladan: No, you didn't. You said Daddy. And Father only takes that from Arwen.
Elohir: Yeah. We used to get kitchen duty if we ever said...that word.
ESM: Wait, wait. If she didn't know she'd said Ada, what was so strange about anything?
He smiled wearily at me, for some reason. What the hell did I do?
ESM: Apparently, you called him 'Ada'.
Legolas: perhaps the disturbing fact that she had only just an hour ago shown up in Middle-Earth had something to do with it.
ESM: (Elrond) Oh no, not ANOTHER long-lost daughter...
"Please, sit down." He indicated a very elegant chair in the middle of the room. I sat down, curious.
Legolas: (Luneissil) As to whether the spider had followed me. ESM: You really enjoyed that spider, eh? "Luneissil...the time for you has come..."
Legolas: (Elrond) To die!
When he saw my confused look, he added, "For marriage."
(ESM grins at Legolas, who shrinks into his chair fearfully.)
What the hell? I was getting married? I didn't ask for this! The old geezer who calls himself my father
(Elladan and Elohir faint again)
ESM: (looking at their prostrate forms) They really were scared of their dad, ey?
Legolas: mmm.
is probably gonna pair me up with an almighty royal snob!
ESM: (grinning evilly at Legolas) You'll never find a more almighty royal snob than the one and only Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood!
I thought that that 'freakishly beautiful lady' was an angel! I guess I was wrong...
ESM: (Luneissil) She was actually a freakishly beautiful lady!
I've died in my mega-sized wardrobe and have gone to hell!
ESM: Middle-Earth equals hell. That may be a first.
A/N: OK guys, thank you to those people who are reading my story right now, though I don't think many people will...glances around, looking for any reviewers Oh well, all I wanna say is...GO EASY ON THE REVIEWS!!!
ESM: Yeah, I mean, what did they EVER do to you?
And flames will be thrown at our precious elf, and you wouldn't want that to happen, now would you? ::cackles maniacally as Haldir is used for target practice::
ESM: Too bad. I was just getting to like Haldir.
Legolas: ::groans from underneath his seat::
Legolas: Why me? Whhyyyyyyy MEEEEEEEEE??????
Constructive criticism is welcome, though try not to sound all...snobby! I detest snobby people...
ESM: (Sapphire-gurl11) They're so....snobby.... (The twins wake up)
Elladan: Is it over?
Elohir: Can we go now?
Elladan: Where's Legolas?
ESM: ::points under the seat where a mass of blonde hair can be seen.::
ESM: No, can't go until it's all finished. 8 more chapters, I believe. Maybe more.
Elladan: Could we at least have some food?
ESM: If you promise not to faint any more.
Twins: Uhhh....okay.