Sorry about that break in the regularly scheduled banality, but i'm going to continue it anyway...

I went to see The Passion Of The Christ with the wife & a couple friends the other night. Wow. That was the funniest damn Passion Play i've seen since The Story Of The Hare Who Lost His Spectacles. But then again, Mel Gibson is no Jeffrey Hammond.
Both the girls (who happen to both be Catholic) were crying throughout. And that's understandable. I can see why this movie would garner that kind of reaction from those with faith... or hell, even some without it. It's intense, if nothing else. I'm not a religious person myself, so i didn't have that kind of spiritual investment in it. None the less, it was still a moving film, spiritual investment or not. I personally don't believe that Jesus of Nazareth was the son of God or that he died for mankind's sins. I see him as a historical figure that started a religion, putting him in a category with the likes of Siddhartha Gautama & Mohammed, i guess... or even to a lesser extent, people like Martin Luther & John Calvin. Jesus just happened to die for what he believed in. Which is noble, if nothing else. I'm not really sure where this take is going, but i like typing & i just can't stop. Let me just note, however, that i'm not trashing anyone's religion or anything like that. I have no problem with anyone who has faith, whether it be in Jesus Christ or Buddha or L. Ron Hubbard. As long as you don't kill or persecute anyone who doesn't believe the same things you do, you're okay with me. I have no ending for this thought, cos, quite frankly, i'm still thinking... but i don't feel like coming back in a few hours & editing this, so i'll just end with a few dots...
-cpb 3/31 {link}

It's been a while, for more reasons than i care to get into. Quick recap time...

Sports:
The NCAA Basketball Tournament has been good shit, per usual. For the first time in many years, however, i did not fill out any brackets or join any polls. And i'm glad i didn't, cos i wouldn't have done any good... again. Although, 3 of the teams i thought would be in the Final Four are still alive. I had Okie State beating Kentucky & Duke beating U-Conn, with the Cowboys winning it all. We'll see, i guess.
In other sporting news, we're just a few days away from Baseball's Opening Day. Now that's good shit!

My Birthday:
Came & went. The actual day, last Friday, was pretty shitty, actually. I had to work in the morning & that was a pain in the ass, then the rest of the night was tense. It's my own damn fault, though, so i guess i can't really complain. I'm not complaining, by the way.
I did get a few good presents, though. My parents got me an Albuquerque Isotopes hat plus made a donation to the 10-Year Plan Fund. My grandparents sent me the obligatory check, which i appreciate immensely. My In-Laws got me a Best Buy gift card, which i parlayed into the Band Of Brothers DVD set. If you've never seen this, do yourself a favor & buy it or rent it or whatever you have to do to see it, cos it's un-freaking-real. And it's really good. The best present i received by far, however, was from my wife. Erin set me up with some tickets to see George Carlin, in my hometown of Tiffin, OH, to boot. It's not till April, but i'm already excited.

Life In General:
Has been pretty shitty, to be honest. And the worst part about it, i have no one to blame but myself. A stark & frank realization of what a worthless & bad person i am. Letting everyone down yet again. A return to the Medicated Goo. And, to be honest, i don't know how this will all affect THE Experience. I'll either be updating a lot, if it's a good release... or never, if it becomes a burden. And besides that, it's been a while since i've gotten anything from Shane. But he's been busy, & so will i be. Promise?
-cpb 3/26 {link}

Up until about a month ago i had almost forgotten how much i love College Basketball. Watching Oklahoma State, various ACC games & the occasional "big matchup", then the Conference Tournaments this past week got my shit straight. I can't wait for March Madness. College Basketball, i love you. Marry me.
-cpb 3/14 {link}

Happy Birthday to my parents, Terry - 55 & Sue - 51. Soak up some dessert sun for me.
-cpb 3/13 {link}

Well, as the great Taj Mahal once said, She Caught The Katy And Left Me A Mule To Ride. I think it was Day-Z that caught the Katy first, while Erin & i were in Mexico & The Z was staying with the in-laws. Then Erin got it. Now i got it. Everyone got it, except for Cat. That little fucker is just strummin' along, singing, "Fifteen'll get ya twenty, that's alright..."

Anyway, last night the wife & i & Schmorgan went to the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase to see Tony Rock (Chris' little brother). It was pretty fucking hilarious. I laughed so hard my face nearly fell off.
-cpb 3/12 {link}

A few days back i was reminiscing with Gregor about the old Behind The Musics that VH1 slapped on us. There were some great lines bandied about in those & we both agree that David Crosby, talking about going into rehab, took the pie:

"I told them the only way i was going into rehab was if they chartered a jet to take me so that i could do heroin right up to the point i checked in."

Or something to that effect. I've been thinking lately about something that could possibly top that one & i think i finally came up with it:

Announcer: Even after the success of The Sillies first two albums, they stayed humble and never lost the reverence they held for the Rock Gods they idolized as kids.
Michael Ellis, guitarist: "We had a tremendous respect for those that came before us... the greats. On our third album we were going to do a cover of Hey Joe, which, of course, Jimi Hendrix made famous. Even though we weren't legally bound to, we wanted to get the okay from the Hendrix Estate before we recorded it. We asked Jimi's dad and he said he didn't think we should do it. Like I said, he had no legal bounds to stop us, but out of respect, we didn't do the song. Instead we wrote a song called Jimi Hendrix's Dad Can Suck My C*ck.
-cpb 3/9 {link}

Well, i thought it was all over yesterday. I thought the Apocalypse had come. Then i realize it was just Michigan weather. A few days ago it was about 60. Then i wake up yesterday at about six o'clock to see the wife off to work & it's snowing/sleeting. Then, at about nine, it was sunny. Then it was raining, but still sunny. Then it got grey. Then it got greyer. Then it was dark & raining. Then it was slushing. Then it was windy & it started snowing again. Then that turned back into rain for a few seconds before the sun came out again. Then it started snowing while the sun was out. Then it got dark... & i thought at that point that Satan himself was going to knock on the door & ask me what the fuck was going on. But he didn't. What can i say about Michigan, except... "Home, crap, home."

Oh yeah... i also have to give a shoutout to my old home/share. Apparently Polio had/has a bit of a ball problem. Hopefully the boys are doin' fine.
-cpb 3/8 {link}

I haven't seen a March like this since the last time D-Fresh destroyed me in Madden. Never the less...

I've been listening to The Leaves' version of Hey Joe quite a bit lately & i have to say, as much as i love Hendrix's version, i think this is my favorite. It's so freeeking good! Do yourself a favor & check dat shiz out.
-cpb 3/6 {link}

It has begun!

-cpb 3/1 {link}

"Hey 30 degree weather & snow, how ya doin'? Haven't seen you in a few days."

So the wife & i are back from Mexico. Just in time, too. I think Eli, our bastard cat, was starting to think we weren't coming back & that the apartment was now all his. He started rearranging shit, moving stuff in the cupboards & stuff. He was also just about to throw out all the records i own that were recorded in the 80's. Little shit... like he knows anything about the 20th century, anyhow.
And besides all that, tomorrow we get an extra day of February. Yee-haw! Cos if there's any month i can think of that i'd like to have an extra day of, it's gotta be February. Oh well, at least it'll give me an extra day to prepare for Hot-Torrid Butt-Sex Month. Selah, i guess.
-cpb 2/28 {link}

I looooove gettin' packages in the mail. So, needless to say, i was fairly "stoked" yesterday to find a little shipment from Mr. B. Boyle, who is currently slummin' it (so to speak) up in New England. It was, in fact, a copy of the debut/final album from Beggars Ride - The Game. Good slice of musica. Listening to it got me thinking about another Toledo band called TERRY's KID. So i popped in our first/last album, No S, and gave it a listen for the first time in a long time. I had actually forgotten how good of an album this was. With the exception of, maybe, 88% of the vocals on the disc, it was a pretty fucking good recording. The Rock & Roll Dream indeed...

Oh yeah, i forgot to mention... less than 48 hours & i'm going to be sitting on the beach in Cancun drinking Rum & Cokes & trying not to severely burn my milky white skin.
-cpb 2/19 {link}

So i sit down today to watch a little TV & turn to ESPN2 & just happen to catch THE GREATEST NBA GAME EVER. 1987 Eastern Conference Finals. Game 5. Boston Celtics v. Detroit Pistons. Boston Garden. The only thing that can make the replay of Bird stealing the ball better is if they could add Johnny Most's call of, "...now here's the steal by Bird... underneath to D.J., lays it up and in!"
-cpb 2/18 {link}

1999. 40 best albums. Check it out.
-cpb 2/17 {link}

Well, it's just about that time again. And, of course, you know what that time is, don't you? Well, we're just two weeks away from Hot-Torrid Butt-Sex Month. And that means, per usual, THE Experience needs your butt pictures. Don't be shy... send 'em in.
-cpb 2/16 {link}

Full Frontal Nudity? I'd do it... if it were valid. Well, if the money was valid. And if it was a small part.

Watteau, dear?
-cpb 2/14 {link}

Sorry about that last post. That wasn't very nice at all. It's just that yesterday i was sitting around all by myself waiting for the maintenance people to come by, which they never did. Although i guess i wasn't alone all day. And yes, i had a few, but what's that got to do with anything? In the morning we were visited by Confuse-A-Cat Ltd. Luckily they were able to shake Eli out of his "stockbroker syndrome". Thanks General! How can we ever repay you?
-cpb 2/13 {link}

Hey, Miss My-Pants-Are-So-High-&-Tight-That-You-Can-See-Either-My-Camel-Toe-Or-My-Wedge-From-A-Half-A-Mile-Away, do the world & your co-workers a big, big favor - invest the $5 at the Value Village & get yourself a new goddamn pair of pants. This is work, not a fucking Pap smear. And while you're out, get that gap between your front teeth fixed. I don't need to see your tonsils every time you smile.
-cpb 2/11 {link}

I just finished watching the 14th & final disc of my Xmas gift... & that got me to thinking about my favorite TV shows of all time. Here's my top ten (that i can think of at the moment):

1) M*A*S*H
1a) Monty Python's Flying Circus
3) The Kids In The Hall
4) Seinfeld
5) Mr. Show
6) Night Court
7) The Simpsons
8) The X-Files
9) The Young Ones
9a) South Park

And while i'm on the subject, i guess, the five best game shows of all time:

1) The Price Is Right
2) Press Your Luck
2a) Match Game/Match Game PM
4) Jeopardy!
5) The Gong Show

-cpb 2/8 {link}

For the first time in quite a while, i've added a few things to The Corner Of Miami Street & Gilmore. Nothing all that good, but additions none the less. A couple of things for the Reef (1 & 2) and a poem that i wrote about 8 months ago that i've been hoping would get better on it's own. It hasn't, but i'm putting it up cos it's about an old friend.
-cpb 2/6 {link}

I loooooove hate mail. Unfortunately, however, i rarely receive it. Maybe cos my e-mail address is buried towards the bottom of the page... maybe it's a "large forehead" thing, i don't know. But i did check my guestbook recently & noticed that there was some guy that seemed to really like the site leaving some pretty funny & grammatically correct comments on THE Experience. And that's cool. But then i discovered this {this link doesn't work anymore, but trust me, it was funny}. This is, by far, the best. As much as i love the site getting slammed, i love it about 13 times more when it gets slammed in broken English. I just wish i knew which picture ticked them off so much.
-cpb 2/5 {link}

NEW! NEW! NEW!
A new edition of Ponders is now ready for consumption. Not really much but a bunch of fart jokes, really.
-cpb 2/4 {link}

This past weekend i went down to Toledo - where they've banned smoking just about everywhere - to hang out with a few friends & had my first taste/smell of a smokeless bar. My impression? It's just flat-out wrong. Even though i don't smoke cigarettes & sometimes find it annoying to come home smelling like smoke, there's just something inherently wrong with a bar that isn't filled with smoke. I can understand banning smoking in restaurants & airplanes & shopping malls &, hell, anywhere else... but a bar? Walking into a bar & not inhaling two packs of cigarettes second-hand makes about as much sense as walking into a strip club & not seeing any tits. But i digress...

However, i do not digress...

Another thing that struck me over the weekend was how old i think the truth anti-smoking advertisements are getting. Now, i'm not saying that it's a bad thing to point out how bad cigs & tobacco are, or that it's wrong to try to persuade children not to smoke... this is all good. And i'm not trying to defend the tobacco companies, either. But something i've noticed in many of these ads is that they seem to portray people who have/had smoked for 20+ years as having had absolutely no choice in turning into a smoker. According to the ads, it seems, people who die of lung cancer from smoking are not in the least bit responsible. As i stated before, i'm not really into the cancer sticks. However, if i did suck down 20 tar poles a day for 30 years & then got lung cancer, i would not be surprised & i definitely would not blame someone else. But that's just me, i guess.
-cpb 2/3 {link}

Screw!

Just kidding, i really don't care that my Super Bowl prediction was off... i was just glad it wasn't as piss poor as last year's. One of my predictions was spot on, however - i said a week & a half ago that the Bowl would be a good game that was boring.
-cpb 2/2 {link}

Well, since they're going to the trouble of having one & all, i guess i'll throw out my Suppa Bow predict:

Carolina - 23
New England - 17
-cpb 2/1, 3:01 AM EST {link}

IN MY WIFE'S FACE!!!
One US gallon equals 3.7854118 liters. I knew it! I am the King... for a day.
-cpb 1/30 {link}

Got an e-mail from Polio today inquiring as to a link from the past, as it were. It's something i hadn't read in quite a while, but it's funny as hell. In fact, when i read it again, i just about shit my pants, but it was so funny that it made me constipated. The link? It has to do with the coolest thing that could possibly happen. Needless to say, you must read the whole page for full effect.
-cpb 1/29 {link}

Ya know what i hate... well, besides Jews & Gays*? I hate it when i go to take the first bite of a real tasty hot dish & i burn my goddamn tongue, thus rendering the rest of the meal totally worthless to my taste buds, which i've found take anywhere from 20 to 43 hours to grow back. A while back my wife, who just happens to be a master chef, made a splendid little stuffed manicotti dish, the leftovers of which i took to work with me the next day. Then, after itching (literally) with anticipation waiting for lunch time, i proceed to heat up my bounty to somewhere around 10,000 degrees, which then burned (figuratively) my entire face off when i put it in my mouth. There is no moral to this story... or any proper ending for that matter.

*For those readers who may be Jewish, homosexual, dense or lacking in any sort of sense of humor, realize that this is in fact a joke. Although i - unlike 98% of the college-age, suburban white kids i've ever discussed homosexuality with - have no homosexual friends, i did once attend a bar mitzvah of a friend.
-cpb 1/26 {link}

Oh, by the way... i do realize that this Jethro Tull sex change crap is not, in the least bit, going to help my argument with Shan-O that Tull's music is not faery dance music. Cock.

And speaking of Shan-O, after months & months of waiting for funny from him, he finally comes through... brilliantly, per usual. Thinking about going totally insane, The Couch decides not to.
-cpb 1/25 {link}

So yesterday, during my lunch break at work, i was sitting in my car listening to the Jim Rome Show on the radio when he mentions something he was going to talk about later in the show - that a member of Jethro Tull has had a sex change operation. Of course, i had to go back to work before he got to it, so i had to wander around the rest of the day wondering if Ian Anderson or one of the other current members of my second favorite band had chopped off their John Thomas & grown some tits.
I was hoping that he was joking, but when i got home i discovered that it was indeed true, although it was former member David Palmer, who was an official member of Tull from 1976 to 1980, although he had worked with them from the time of their first album in 1968. Ian Anderson had this to say about Dav... er, Dee:
"I have known for the past two years of David Palmer's intention to undergo gender-changing procedures and, like many other people who have known David for three decades as a bearded, pipe-smoking man's man, I found it difficult to understand at first... but I fully support his decision to undertake a new life as a woman."
-cpb 1/24 {link}

Newsflash for those of you schlepping around the state of Michigan: it is goddamn cold outside! I realize that it gets a bit redundant complaining about how freakin' cold it is here in the winter, but crap man. Or, as my Scottish uncle would say, "Crrrrrrrrrrap!"
-cpb 1/23 {link}

So, anyone catch the State Of My Re-Election speech last night? Yeah, me neither. I caught some excerpts, but all i read was, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." My big question is - why the hell does W. have such a hard-on for the supposed sanctity of marriage?

And in other news...

Many people say that Michael Jackson isn't really taking this child molestation crap seriously, what with his showing up late to the courtroom & then dancing on top of a car afterwards. I, however, have obtained some proof that, at the very least, Jacko seems to be slowing down:


Jackson walks out of court last Friday & immediately orders up two small boys...


...but then decides he should only have one.
-cpb 1/21 {link}

Although i'm not really a big fan of Leno, i did catch something pretty funny from (i think) last night. Talking about Kobe Bryant, he mentioned how he lost his McDonald's endorsement deal, but that it wasn't such a big deal cos he's now the spokesperson for the In-N-Out Burger.

And in other funny news, a member of the old "conglomerate" has just started up one of these here blog do-hickeys. Polio's on the spot, as it were, with his crazy cr�e. Do yourself a favor & check that shizate out, biatch! Why? First of all, don't ever question me. Second of all, cos it's funny. And C, shut up.

Oh, yeah... i forgot to mention, for those of you who were wondering - yes, Polio is the same Polio that a few years back was the star of the hit TV show Everybody Loves Polio. In fact, i think you can still catch old ELP episodes on Lifetime, right after Everybody Knows Bierlein re-runs.
-cpb 1/20 {link}

Just a quick shout out to Mr. King on his "birthday". Wird, MLK.
-cpb 1/19 {link}

A while back i posted something about The Official TERRY's KID Homepage being just about back in a-figgity-ffect. Well, now it is back in effect, in a manner of speaking. It looks about the same as it did before it disappeared... i just cleaned it up a bit & i'm still attempting to track down some old photos. So, all you Kid fans, take a look... both of you.

And speaking of the resuscitation of TOTKH, let me just give the Wayback Machine its propers once again. Without it, none of this would have been possible.
-cpb 1/11 {link}

This was to be a nice, cheery post... and then while taking my seat i sat on my balls.

Anyway, i just got done reading (yes, reading) the 50th Anniversary Issue of Playboy. Now, don't start with the lame porno jokes. In a world where any jaggoff with a computer & a credit card can watch a woman service a donkey for $9.95 a month, Playboy's airbrushed tarts are a fairly tame form of smut. That aside, however, this issue had some pretty good articles in it. There's an excellent piece by Jonathan Safran Foer about the infinite possibility of the empty page, a letter from Hunter S. Thompson to Hef with all of the good Doctor's trademark humor & zing and some memories of time spent at the Playboy Mansion by George Plimpton, written just before his death, to name a few. That, plus a good interview with Jack Nicholson. In my opinion, though, the highlight was an article written by Norman Mailer with his ideas for straightening out this crazy country of ours. I'm not really a Democrat (being Republican until i reached the age of reason & now wandering in the vast wasteland of "Independent" status), or a huge Norman Mailer fan, for that matter, but i just thought this was a well written & insightful piece. I could summarize it for you, but i have neither the time nor energy to do so. So just do yourself a favor & pick it up.
-cpb 1/7 {link}

First post of 2004... woohoo!!!

(sound of crickets chirping)

That is all.
-cpb 1/2 {link}