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"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
- Yogi
Berra
November
5, 2001
Brr. A crisp autumn day here in White Rock. Spent a portion of the
afternoon outside with my father trying to fix the latch on the back door
of the van. After pulling apart the better half of the back door, we
determined that all that was required was a liberal dosage of WD-40. My
hands are dirty and my nose is running, but at least I get the sense of
having accomplished something today. I even got to do it outside.
Otherwise have spent a good portion of my days surfing the internet
and looking for jobs in the Greater Vancouver area. Doesn't seem to be
much out there at the moment. A few of my friends are in similar
situations, except they've been looking for a couple of months now.
Hearing this sort of thing makes it rather difficult to charge once more
into the breach - what's the point of going all-out when there's nothing
to be gained? I know, I know. Thinking like this is akin to shooting
myself in the foot.
I suppose I've never been terribly patient in this department - I've
never really had to. Finding jobs in high school and university was
relatively easy, as I was only looking for grunt kitchen work. Not to say
that I consider myself to be above working in a kitchen again, it's just
that... well, I don't really want to. I'd much prefer to find a job that
requires use of my brain for a change. Unfortunately my resume doesn't
really back me up on that one. Maybe I'm just not lying good enough yet.
Later
Been outside again. Meandered on over to the bank to investigate my
financial situation... same, same. It struck me as I was walking that I
don't seem to do any critical thinking anymore. I can't even put my finger
on when it stopped happening; sometime in Japan, maybe?
I suppose not being in school means that there really is no need for
too much of this sort of thing, but now that I've realized it... I feel
dumb. Well, not really dumb-dumb, more like I'm letting my neural synapses
fall into disarray - my cerebral superhighway is full of potholes, so to
speak. Granted, this could just be another side effect of spending far,
far too much time at home with nothing but my brain to kep me occupied -
studying Japanese and writing letters to my students or picking up my
brother's C++ textbooks help to fill the day, but I can't help but feel
myself slowly becoming subjugated to the boob-tube. It's just so damn BIG,
there's no escaping it.
Anyway, I'm gonna go play with my typewriter for a while instead. You
kids can go play with Bonzo for a while.
November 7, 2001
Found out from Berto that there's an ultimate frisbee tournament
tomorrow... what am I going to do? The Phantom has diappeared somewhere
between Japan and here - I'll be playing as a ringer, and I won't even be
armed! Oh, the terrible trials and tribulations of my life these days...
Finally got around to adding some new material to the thoughts page.
Still haven't got around to sorting out those hideous tables, though.
Maybe later this afternoon. Anyway, here's a list of the new stuff so's
you don't heve to read everything all over again:
- 2-4 North Carolina
- Focus
- My Love is Quiet
- Rancid Interpretations of Oblique Imagination
- The Occasional Beetle
- Wallflower Anthesis
Those of you expecting something positively Miltonian in nature
shouldn't. These are mostly bits & pieces of unfinished (and mostly
unedited) stuff that I found lying around. Although comments and
criticisms are always welcome. Oh, I suppose I should mention that this is
what I accomplished instead of playing with my typewriter the other day. I
can't help it - I'm a natural-born-liar, remember?
November 8, 2001
Sigh. Seems the folks at the Faculty of Asian Studies at the
University of British Columbia are all kinds of hung-up on a body's having
received 'formal training' in a language before admitting them into their
graduate studies program. What the hell? I just want to study the
language, for chrissakes - after living in Japan for 3 years and taking
the second-highest level of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test, you'd
think they could give me the benefit of the doubt. Or even administer a
test of their own, at the very least. Goddamn bureaucracies hung up on
little bits of paper that don't mean anything - shit, teachers at my
school in Kyuragi couldn't answer some of the questions on the exam I
took.
Granted, I failed the test - but I'm still arrogant enough to think
that I can pull off a lousy Masters degree. Add to this the fact that I
wouldn't even be beginning the program until September of next year;
imagine what levels I could take my nihongo to by then. Bastards.
Can you tell I'm annoyed? Shit.
November 14, 2001
Got to exerience the joy of driving through Vancouver's rush hour not
once, but twice today. This might not sound like such a big deal, as I'm
sure there are countless folks who do the same thing everyday; only I did
it twice during the same rush hour. Oh, yes. Coming down from Simon
Frasier University I made the damnfool mistake of heading west on the
highway, assuming that as White Rock is west of Burnaby, that'd be the way
I wanted to go. Wrong. Turns out that North vancouver is west of
Burnaby... who knew?
Oh, feel free to disregard that last entry, by the way. I really
shouldn't work on this when I'm aggravated. I sorted things out with the
Director of the Faculty by sending her an email informing her that I'm
currently reading a book on translation written in Japanese. Her reply:
"you should apply to the department". All it takes is a little
convincing... not that I'm in or anything, I've just got permission to
apply, is all.
November 15, 2001
I'm sure I had more to say than that yesterday... one of the many
dangers of distraction, I suppose. I'm thinking I need more discipline in
my life these days. Shuffling around and half-pursuing work and graduate
studies is an easy existence, but I'm starting to crave a little more.
Unfortunately, doing nothing is kind of like smoking crack - once you
start, it's really hard to get yourself doing anything else.
Of course, getting a phone call from the bank informing me that I am
now $10000 richer, who cares? Even though I've already spent half of that
(VISA and the van), just knowing that I'm out of the hole is such a large
monkey off my back that I just want to kick back and enjoy it for a bit.
Terrible, aren't I?
Yup.
November 21, 2001
Some thoughts courtesy of the last few days:
- A life change involves a great deal of aimless shuffling about the
house.
- It is possible to spend $6000 in a day and not even notice it.
- The Wild Bunch is one hell of a movie.
- For one to be completely sedated, all that is required is a
television.
- Online applications are hard to fill out when your modem is smoking.
- There are people who suck more than I do.
- Playing harmonica alone in your room during a power outage is fun,
but it makes everyone think you're high.
- One can accomplish 4 out of 5 things on a "To Do" list and still
feel completely useless at the end of the day.
- The walls are closing in.
- There are four great failings: apathy, distraction, laziness and
uninspiration. I think they live in White Rock.
- I forget.
- Why is there braille on the keys at a drive-though ATM?
- You don't have to trust other people, but when you stop trusting in
yourself, you're in trouble.
- Whiskey is not an answer.
- 35 p.s.i. in a tire, not 45.
- No matter how great you are, no one is going to believe it on a
resume.
- I feel good when I'm out with people and not so good when I'm alone
in the basement.
- Singing in the shower makes the rest of the day possible.
Eat your heart out, Lao Tzu. |
