• Total hours: 178.50
• Kilometers travelled
  • By land: 2066.00
  • By sea: 62.00*
  • Total: 2128.0
• Prefectures visited: 5
• Castles visited: 3
• Temples visited: 1
• Temples not visited: 87**
• Number of
  • Bacon rashers consumed: 40
  • Collisions: 2
  • Foreigners spotted: 38***
  • Sanctioned bosozoku maneuvers: 5
• Grams of feline fecal matter found in my bed upon returning home: 196****

* A rough approximation - the ship's captain was unavailable for comment
** Note that the original goal of the Intrusion was to visit 88 temples in 88 hours
*** One gaijin sighting resembled Deacon Wardlow so much that we felt it necessary to count him as two sightings
**** I shit you not

Initial calculations

• Average kilometres per hour
  • By land: 11.57
  • By sea: 0.35
  • Total: 11.92
• Average kilometres per
  • Kilometre: 1.00
  • Prefecture: 425.60
  • Castle: 709.33
  • Temple visited: 2128.00
  • Temple not visited: 24.46
  • Foreigner: 56.00
  • Bacon rasher consumed: 53.20
  • Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 413.20
  • Collision: 1064.00
  • Gram of cat shit in my bed: 10.97
• Average prefectures per:
• Kilometre: 0.002
• Prefecture: 1.00
• Castle: 1.67
• Temple visited: 5
• Temple not visited: 0.06
• Foreigner: 0.13
• Bacon rasher consumed: 0.125
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 1.00
• Collision: 2.50
• Gram of cat shit in my bed:0.03

• Average castles per:
• Kilometre: 0.001
• Prefecture: 0.60
• Castle: 1.00
• Temple visited: 3.00
• Temple not visited: 0.03
• Foreigner: 0.08
• Bacon rasher consumed: 0.075
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 0.60
• Collision: 1.50
• Gram of cat shit in my bed: 0.01
• Average temples visited per:
• Kilometre: 0.0004
• Prefecture: 0.20
• Castle: 0.33
• Temple visited: 1.00
• Temple not visited: 0.01
• Foreigner: 0.03
• Bacon rasher consumed: 0.025
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 0.20
• Collision: 0.50
• Gram of cat shit in my bed: 0.005
• Average temples not visited per:
• Kilometre: 0.04
• Prefecture: 17.40
• Castle: 29.00
• Temple visited: 87.00
• Temple not visited: 1.00
• Foreigner: 2.29
• Bacon rasher consumed: 2.175
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 17.40
• Collision: 43.50
• Gram of cat shit in my bed: 0.45

• Average foreigners per:
• Kilometre: 0.02
• Prefecture: 7.60
• Castle: 12.67
• Temple visited: 38
• Temple not visited: 0.44
• Foreigner: 1.00
• Bacon rasher consumed: 0.95
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 76.00
• Collision: 19.00
• Gram of cat shit in my bed: 0.19
• Average bacon rashers per:
• Kilometre: 0.02
• Prefecture: 8.00
• Castle: 13.33
• Temple visited: 40.00
• Temple not visited: 0.46
• Foreigner: 1.05
• Bacon rasher consumed: 1.00
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 8.00
• Collision: 20.00
• Gram of cat shit in my bed: 0.21
• Average sanctioned bosozoku maneuvers per:
• Kilometre:
0.002
• Prefecture: 1.00
• Castle: 1.67
• Temple visited: 5.00
• Temple not visited: 0.06
• Foreigner: 0.13
• Bacon rasher consumed: 0.125
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 1.00
• Collision: 2.50
• Gram of cat shit in my bed: 0.03
• Average collisions per:
• Kilometre: 0.001
• Prefecture: 0.40
• Castle: 0.67
• Temple visited: 2.00
• Temple not visited: 0.02
• Foreigner: 0.05
• Bacon rasher consumed: 0.05
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 0.40
• Collision: 1.00
• Gram of cat shit in my bed: 0.01
• Average grams of cat shit in my bed per:
• Kilometre:0.09
• Prefecture: 38.80
• Castle: 64.67
• Temple visited: 194.00
• Temple not visited: 2.23
• Foreigner: 5.11
• Bacon rasher consumed: 4.85
• Sanctioned bosozoku maneuver: 38.80
• Collision: 97.00
• Gram of cat shit in my bed: 1.00

Additional facts & figures

• Tents erected: 4
• Fired burned: 4
• Rainy mornings: 2
• Crosswords completed: 1
• Oil change
  • Cost: 4000 yen
  • Kilometers overdue: 10000
  • Months overdue: 3

Subsequent calculations

• E=mc2

  • Beginning with perhaps one of the most famous equations of all time, let's calcluate how much energy would be produced by the wee brown nuggets of joy given to me by my favourite feline. Subsitute 194.00 for m, and using 300000 km/s as the speed of light, we end up with:
    E= 194.00*(300000*300000)
    
    E= 194.00*90000000000
    
    E= 17460000000000 g/ms2

    Or more than enough energy to completely vapourize my cat.

• Potential & Kinetic Energy

  • Ok. Good thing this ain't no scientific paper, 'cuz we're makin' a bunch of assumptions here.

    • Potential Energy

    Ok. Using P.E.=mgh where m=mass (Big Assumption #1 - we'll say, oh, 1265kg for the car and another 300kg for everything else), g=gravitational acceleration constant (9.8 m/s2), and h=height (only recorded once over the course of the intrusion at 720m) we end up with the following:

    P.E. = (1565)*(9.8)*(720)
    
    P.E. = 11042640 kg/m/s2

    Kinetic Energy

    K.E=0.5mv2 where v=velocity and m=mass. In this case, we'll calculate velocity as distance over time - why? Why not.

    K.E. = 0.5*(1565)*[(2128*1000)/(178.5*3600)]
    

    K.E. = 0.5*(1565)*[2128000/642600]
    

    K.E. = 0.5*(1565)*(3.31)
    

    K.E. = 2590.08 kg/m/s2

• Mandelbrot set fractals

  Still workin' on these. Keep your pants on.