| PAGE 3 !!!!!!!! OF CRAZY QUOTES!!!! |
| (An employee at work order 2 big burritos (i can't spell so i dont know if that's right) Diana- "Your eyes must be bigger than your stomach." then she said.... " I was going to ask him if he had a hollow leg" (me and Courtney were confused, but she said that's where the food would go, his hollow leg...) Kim- "do you realize my toes are 40 years old?" (what i meant to say, this lady wanted a fork not a spork, but I said) "this lady wanted a sork not a foon." (where did that come from???) "If you're my girlfriend I'll take you to the Satinarium. What's that thing called that you looked up? The 'Satinarium'?" - Brian "WHAT!?! THE SATINARIUM!?! Don't you mean the Sybris?" -Ryan "Brian why didn't you tell me you set the fries on the couch?" -Ryan "Why did you sit on them?" - Jessica "Yes." -Ryan "Let's fight, bring it" -Brian "Just as along as you don't grab my penis again" - Josh "I'd shave my mustasche for you."-Adam (talking to me) (talking about how he's a dork, and doesn't have a girlfriend, then later in his life...) "I'll show them! I'll bring 'em to the Maury Show, and be like "Look at me now! LOOK AT ME NOW!!" -brian (at Taco bell) "Mommy, what's a spleen?" - little kid "Uh, I don't know." - Parents "It filters blood." - Me (Jessica) "See, I didn't know that... They take your order, and tell you what a spleen is." - the Dad "Everyone stay away from me. You're all looking at me evil." -Liz (an older woman i worked w/) "Jesus. There's a bunch of wierdo's workin'... and I'm one of them." - ? (i forgot to write down who said it) "You wanna see my one chest hair?" - Adam (points' to single hair towards middle of chest) "I can flex my butt to make it bigger" - Andrew (so his pants wouldn't fall down) "No, we're not going to 'make love', we're going to 'fuck'." - Mike "Don't kick me in the ass, ass." - Vanessa "So you can't have sex with the cheese..." - Diane (Discussing sanitary issues) "Don't you hate it when people think they are perfect when they really suck." - Sir Vanessa "You don't have to like him, just use him for the sex. If he has long hair that could be an issue, you should tie it in a ponytail so it will stay out of the way. But then he would look like a girl and that is bad." - Adam (giving me advice) "I'd have sex with you" - Adam "I guess I'll take that as a compliment." - Me "Wow your knuckle hairs are dark." - Dawn to Amy out of nowhere "Could you say number 4 in the form of a Haiku?" -Teacher asking student to give an answer "I'm not saying he's going to flop, but what if a random peanut flew through the air and got lodged in his throat. He choked and no one knew the heimlich." - Vance "I don't want to see anything, but your thing." - Rosenbaum "Turnips are turn-ons" - Kid "I work out" - Girl "That's why I'm so big"-Kid1 making fun of her "I'm not big, I'm just swollen" - Kid2 "I'm not fat, I'm just big boned"-Kid1 "Hey, i'm not fat" - Girl "Yeah, you're not big boned you're fat!"-Kid2 |