Well I was just sleeping in church the other day and I had a great dream. I dreamt that everybody was as perfect as me. There were no problems, and I was king of the Scotts in my dream. Unfortunately this dream cannot be realized, for not everyone is capable of supremecy. When I woke up the pastor was going on about something like, "helping people" or shit like that. It suddenly came to me; I could use my unmatchable wisdom and knowledge to help those lesser beings who could never live up to my greatness.
Have you ever been had a problem? Have you ever been forced to make a difficult decision? Have you ever wished you were me? Don't worry we all have, and now there's a way for you to get help. I am starting my own counseling service! That's right, now you can have my divine opinions and solutions at no cost to you!
Make the smart choice and send your problems and decisions to a complete stranger so that he can control your life as he sees fit from afar. My e-mail is [email protected] (Don't read too much into my e-mail address. I am not a nice guy.) |