I'm SO in touch with my feminine side it's scary. . .
1/25/04
Okay I have a question for your advice section.  Dont post my e-mail adress tho plz.  Okay so here's my problem:  There's this girl that I talk to sometimes, but I can't really consider her my friend.  We get along when we talk in our classes, but I don't think she really thinks of me than anything more than someone to talk to occasionally.  How do you think I should get her to wanna go out with me?

Sincerely,
Ryan
Ryan,

Well, Ryan, first I must commend you on your wisdom of coming to me with your predicament.  You should know that very few girls know what they actually want.  I, on the other hand, do.

The first thing you need to do is get this girl's attention.  The best way to do this is by showing her you have qualities that she likes.  The correct course of action, is of course, showing her your penis.  Chicks love penises.  It's genetically burned into their brains to manifest at puberty.  You must do this all tastefully however, you don't want to seem like a pervert.  Let's say she's looking under her desk in your direction , for a pencil or something: whip it out.  If you guys are alone in a room without a conversation going: whip it out.  If  she's talking and flirting with another guy: approach and whip it out.  If you pass her in the hall and she smiles: you know what to do.

Once you have her friendship the next thing you need to do is establish yourself as her best choice of a guy.  This can be accomplished by vigarous self-improvement, but that's for pussies.  What you should really do is chase off any other potential mates.  Now it's very important that you don't INSULT this girl, while making her undesirable to other men.  I suggest telling all the guys in the locker room about how beautiful an adam's apple she has.  If that doesn't work you might try breaking into her room at night and pissing in a complete circle around her bed.  While you're there, write "Property of Ryan" across her chest.

All of this should work.  You may be thinking to yourself right now: "How would Scott know how I should get this girl?  He doesn't know her.  Aren't all girls differrent?"  Wrong.  That is all just propaganda spead by feminists and politicians.  Well anyway, I hope you and your girl are very happy together.  If you ever need your relationship evaluated remember to check out my
Relationships page.

The undisputed guru of the female psyche,
Scott
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1