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A brief interruption: Some of you were wondering how to pronounce "Jycellaemynthia". I always imagined it as Ji (as in git)-cell-eh-min-thia (rhymes with Cynthia), but you can say it however you want. Be creative, as your name does not have to be spelled phonetically. In fact, you are encouraged to make up a pronunciation that sounds as little as possible like how any normal human being would read it. For example, "Listerine". No matter how you choose to say your penname, always belittle anyone who stresses the wrong syllable; really, if your readers can't pronounce a simple word like Jycellaemynthia, then they are clearly unable to grasp the nuances of such an epic tale of love and rebirth as your Aeris Resurrection Fic.
On with the guide: Step 9: The Romantic Cut-scenes
Now that you have your Aeris home safe and sound, it might be time for you to insert a romantic cut-scene. These consist largely of a few random vignettes with our lovestruck couple: Naturally, these vignettes could work perfectly well as individual fanfics, but then you would have to think of an excuse for why Aeris is going on a date with Cloud, instead of lying underwater like a good corpse. Here we are again, back to why you wrote your ARF in the first place. This is where fanfiction deviates from trashy romance novels. Were this a Nora Roberts book, the scene would go something like this:
Aeris looked into Cloud's sexy eyes, which were smoldering with hot lusty passion, and felt herself totally drawn in. His hunky tanned body and his sculpted physique drove her wild. This would then continue for about twenty pages, referring explicitly to more intimate parts of their anatomy. Luckily, fanfiction.net doesn't allow NC-17 fics, so sex scenes are out. But even if they were permitted, you would never stoop to something so low. As Jycellaemynthia, you are...oh wait, you can't hear me. You're shuddering in a corner, trying to get that horribly raunchy paragraph out of your mind. I think I'm going to give myself the Evil Mina Award for the Worst Dialogue Ever in a Fanfic. "Hey, buster..." Even I'm shuddering now. But as I was saying, as an ethereal spirit who communes with the Gods of Fanfiction, you have true insight into the meaning of love. You do not describe your characters doing anything more than holding hands because you are above physicality, and you know that love is a deeply spiritual connection, unaffected by such petty things as hormones. Well, actually, it's because you feel kind of awkward writing kissing scenes, but no one needs to know that. As I mentioned before, I cannot churn out a love scene that isn't painful to read, so use your own discretion regarding the context of your romantic vignettes. You are mostly on your own, but here is some advice: a) Pay attention to the mood that you're setting, and decide whether this is a fluff or a sap fic. You will notice that most love scenes in fics are either light-hearted and silly, or serious and epic in tone. Fluff is used more in humour fics, while sap is usually featured in epic action and adventure genres. If you don't think that the style you use matters, then picture this: Cloud goes to borrow money from Barret to buy Aeris a necklace for Ramadan. The overall feeling of the story is radically different depending on the tone that you use.
-Sap: Cloud solemnly looked at his friend in the eyes, and felt a wave of responsibility overcome him. This was it, the moment of truth.
-Fluff: "Hey, Barret," giggled Cloud. "You have any money?" -Angst: Darkness. Pain. Cloud's mind was racked with thoughts of guilt. Here he was, a beggar to his own friend. He felt Barret dismiss him as inadequate. How could he ever think that he deserved Aeris? Nothing but lies, a dancing blinded puppet. He was just a walking corpse, praying for its expiration date. -Caffeine-Induced Hysteria: (Like fluff, but imagine that the author is writing the fic at two in the morning, making it up as he or she goes along, cramming the text with inside jokes that only a select group of friends understand, and under the influence of vast quantities of stimulants.)
Cloud: YAAAAAAAY!!! Crazy time *glomps Barret* Obviously, for this fic, angst and hysteria are out. So far, we've been going mostly with epic. However, by now, you may be running out of synonyms to use, so this is your last chance to revert to fluff. b) Remember Step 4.a? Again, now is the time to show off your vocabulary. Make frequent use of the thesaurus on your word processor. As well, now that you're writing dialogue, use as many adverbs as possible, because they emphasize your point and make it easier to know what characters are thinking. I believe it was Stephen King who said that "the road to heaven is paved with adverbs." Wait, was it "heaven", or "hell"? Ah, same thing. Also, always avoid using the word "said"; no matter how much it seems to fit, there is always a better word with more syllables that you can use. You don't want anyone to think that "said" is the biggest word you know, after all.
WRONG:
RIGHT: c) This is particularly important if you're going for an epic tone. Remember, your characters are NOT mere mortals. They are superior, quasi-divine beings, who are exceptionally attractive, intelligent, and gifted. Spend paragraphs describing their physical beauty. Make it seem unbelievable that they can stand to look at each other for more than five seconds without spontaneously combusting from a build-up of happiness and hormones. Their merits should reach Jycellaemynthic proportions. An important thing to remember concerning Step 9: repeat as often as necessary. You have a certain degree of freedom regarding these sequences, their lengths, and how often you distribute them throughout your story. Next part: The international smuggling ring, and Tino schemes like hell. ~Evil Mina |