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Step 7: The Homecoming

The annoying thing about continuing past the resurrection scene is that you have to list what happens to at least seven other characters. (And since the world was not destroyed by Meteor, none of it is interesting.) Flowery descriptions are not enough; now you must keep all of your mindless facts straight. "But I can't..." you wail. "I don't remember who's from what hometown." Once again, out of the goodness of my heart, I come to the rescue. Here is a list of plausible and boring things that they are doing, all of which are trivial to the plot, and (best of all) need no further mention from you for the rest of the ARF.

Character Information Sheet:

Barret: Is living in Kalm with Marlene. Owns a weapon shop.
Tifa: Shares the Shinra villa in Costa del Sol with Cloud, "to look after him." Cloud still hasn't noticed. Owns her own branch of the Turtle's Paradise bar in Costa del Sol.
Red XIII: Is living in Cosmo Canyon with Bugenhagen, who came back to life through the same plot hol-I mean, magic, that resurrected Aeris. Sells Materia.
Cid: Lives in Rocket Town. Married Shera, and now earns money by giving tours of the world in his Highwind.
Cait Sith: Is a toy for Marlene. Meanwhile, Reeve is the new mayor of Midgar, and is in charge of reconstruction efforts.
Yuffie: Returned to Wutai, where she is in school, like a normal girl her age. Stole all of your materia, including your mastered Knights of the Round. Godo is currently planning a major offensive with all of this new firepower, and in five years, Wutai will have conquered the world...but that has no relevance whatsoever to the main storyline.
Vincent: Returned to the Shinra Mansion. Spends his days sulking in his coffin.

So let's say that the party has coincidently reunited in the Costa del Sol villa. Oh, I don't know, maybe because they were all so worried about Cloud's deteriorating health that they came for an intervention. Then, in through the door walk Cloud and Aeris, arm in arm. What is the reaction of the gang? Once again, since this is a Cloris fic, none of them actually matter, but you still have to mention them all. So why not make the unimportant characters act like they do in every other fanfic?

Character Reaction Sheet:

Barret: Shakes Aeris's hand, and says, "Hey y'all, foo', watchoo lookin' at," in mangled ebonics, because his dialogue translation has become even worse than it previously was. He then goes off to sue Jycellaemynthia for racial discrimination.
Red XIII: Since Red XIII is not human, you don't care about him. He says something generic, like: "Why, Aeris, how did you come back?"
Cid: Says a string of random ASCII characters, none of which can appear in your story because you're posting this on fanfiction.net, and asterisks are considered spamming. As a result, he is silent.
Cait Sith: Again, you don't care about him. Since Reeve was too busy to attend, he sent Cait Sith to take his place. Fortun-I mean, unfortunately, Marlene forgot to turn him on, so he says absolutely nothing. See how easy I've made this for you?
Yuffie: Just like in every other fic featuring Yuffie, she has ADHD. "Omigod omigod omigod omigod omigod omigod omigodogodogodogod...YOU'RE ALIVE!!!" You can have her run up and hug Aeris if you're making the effort to pretend that you care about the relationships between non-focal characters.
Vincent: Makes some vague remark about how life is more torturous than death, and goes back to his coffin.


So now that Aeris has gotten all of those hellos out of the way, she and Cloud can live happily ever after, right? They can retreat into the sunset and live together forever in the Villa in matrimonial bliss, producing beautiful children with telepathic powers...

Wrong.

You can't have a story without an antagonist. This archenemy may be an evil villain with powers greater than Sephiroth, or she can be a romantic rival. You may have noticed that Tifa's reaction to Aeris's return was not included in the list. That's because, unlike the others, she is not totally irrelevant to the plot. This leads us to Step 8:

Step 8: The Tifa Factor -- The Jealous Antagonist

Odds are that if you are writing an Aeris Resurrection Fic, if you do not exactly hate Tifa, then you certainly prefer to see Cloud paired up with Aeris. Those few ARF-writers who like Cloti don't want to leave Aeris with no one, so they write an Aeriseph fic (though mind you, Aeris either alone or with Cloud is more believable than Aeris falling in love with the psychotic man who killed her, but that's another story).

So depending on what kind of story you're writing, and your level of hatred and jealousy of Tifa, not to mention your bust size relative to Tifa's, there are two characterizations of Tifa that you can use:

a) Bland and Friendly Tifa: She is mildly happy to see Aeris. "Aeris, you're alive!" she says. "I'm so glad to see you." She then retreats into the background, like the rest of the characters in the story. She may occasionally resurface as a confidante for Aeris, but the main focus is on Aeris and Cloud, their blossoming love, and their preparation for the Next Sephiroth.

If you are writing a simple adventure story, then this would be the best way to avoid any side distractions. But no, if you are the same romantic who devours paperback novels and who revels in true love overcoming obstacles and adversity, then you are going to prefer Option B. Every soap opera has the jealous antagonist whose object is not world domination but the heart of the heroine's man. She will stop at nothing, be it lies, manipulation, or even murder, to get what she wants. Setting back womankind fifty years, I give you:

b) Jealous Evil Villainess Tifa: You might not know this, but Tifa tricked Aeris into going to the Forgotten City, and told Sephiroth to stab her! And she was the one who pushed Cloud into the Lifestream, and gave him Mako poisoning, just so she could manipulate him by subliminally implanting messages into his brain. This Tifa has none of the redeeming qualities of the original, and will stop at nothing to break up Cloud and Aeris.

Be careful not to mix up JEVTs with mere Jealous Tifas, who are not so much evil as annoying. Jealous Tifa is content to simply spend five chapters whining about how Cloud won't pay attention to her, and ends up committing suicide. But you are going to go all out with Jealous Evil Villainess Tifa. I mean, subtlety, objectivity, and faithfulness to canon are overrated.

When Aeris first walks through the door, Tifa begins to choke on her drink.
"You," she spluttered. "You're...alive!"
"I know," chirped Cloud. "Isn't it wonderful?"
Tifa shot Aeris the most venomous look that she could muster. But Aeris, in her pure and innocent sincerity, could not fathom the malice behind her former "friend's" glare.
"It's good to see you," said Aeris, ever so sweetly. Aeris was always willing to turn the other cheek. (AN: I lurv Aeris! She's so sweet ;))
"I...yes, wonderful! Absolutely wonderful." Tifa forced a smile on her (very ugly) face. "Yes...I'll be going now." She stomped off in a rage (AN: and her breast implants nearly fell out! BURN!)

No one else notices her leave. Then you remember the Character Reaction Sheet. It is Barret's cue.

"Hey y'all, foo', watchoo lookin' at," said Barret jovially, extending his gun arm to Aeris.

This guide will be continuing with B. One additional benefit of this option is that the role of the confidante is vacant, paving the way for a cameo by Jycellaemynthia.

Remember that for both options, but especially for A, you should always ignore any evidence that Cloud felt anything for Tifa at any point in the game. After all, Cloud and Aeris have True Love. By acknowledging his feelings for another woman, you are diluting this True Love.

Up in her room, Tifa sulks.
"Damn that bitch," she cursed under her (horrible) breath. "She ruined EVERYTHING!" Suddenly, a hideous smile played upon her lips.
"So you think that you've won this round, do you, my pretty? Just you wait and see. Soon Cloud shall be MINE! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Her shrill cackle rang throughout the house.

There is a knock on the door.

"Could you keep it down?" asks Aeris. "I'm trying to sleep."
"Sorry," mumbles Tifa.

Next part: Writing romantic cut-scenes, religious holidays, and fun-filled adventures with adverbs.

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~Evil Mina

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