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101.) "It s all fun and games until someone gets hit in the butt with a quarter." - Jayson
(OH THE HUMANITY)
102.) "A sad puppy smells like sweet, luscious milk chocolate." - Phil
(... Yum?)
103.) "Any reason why you look like diseased chicken?" - Me
(Bre and Katherine were covered in paint at the time )
104.) "Are your eyebrows having a seizure?" - Me
(Bethany was looking really sneaky while holding the black Wu Tang.)
105.) "The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm is the bird's breakfast." - Michael
(We were making up proverbs today in Humanities in honor of Ben Franklin.)
106.) "Big problems are like big rivers. Eventually, someone says 'dammit!'" - Kiri
(This speaks for itself. XD)
107.) "On a pig farm, a clean pig has no friends, for he is fooling no pig." - Cole
108.) "To be old and wise, you must first be young and dumb." - Alison G.
(Alison rules, man. All the girls named Alison that I know are such awesome people.)
109.) "I'm going to be Mr. Keiser when I grow up." - Bethany
(Mr. Keiser is, just so you know, a balding English teacher.)
110.)"Just grab the power line!" - Craig
(Zzzzzzap.)
111.) "France had the equality that a gnat has with an elephant." - Me
(We were talking about the Enlightenment and, of course, the French Revolution.)
112.) "I love my swirly tentacles. They're swirly and... tentically!" - Bethany
(Her oratory skills bring tears to my eyes.)
113.) "For the most part, when members of a family react to something a certain way, all the members react the same way. There are exceptions."
"Like the topic of politics." - Ms. Penrod and me
(The periodic table can be a great source of fun if you're desperate enough.)
114.) "So you literally would turn on David 8B" - Jasmine
(I finally remembered! I told her about how my aunt put a picture of the Statue of David over a light switch.)
115.) "Wow... my mind was like a mile from the groan... and then I actually thought about what y'all were saying 8D;;;;" - Nell
(It s nice to know I have that influence on people.)
116.) "My science teacher has a skeleton in his classroom that looks liek it's masturbating. *nods sagely* It's hands are all over it's non-existent penis. I though of Death and you. Me and Tiffany feel kinda sorry for him though." - Aya
(Never underestimate the subliminal messages of a plastic skeleton.)
117.) "Death has a surfboard? Wow, where was I?" - Jasmine
(Poor Death. Just when I think he'll be let off the hook, someone adds another accessory to make fun of him with.)
118.) "You know what. I GIVE YOU CANCER." - Lime
(Everything can give you cancer. EVERYTHING.)
119.) "*thought you said Dingo Bell* o.o"
"Nuuuuu... ^^;;;"
"It's the Australian Taco Bell. o.o *nod*" - K and me
(It s a sad day when the Mediaeval Baebes are reduced to a Taco Bell ad.)
120.) "Kangaroo: YO QUIERO DINGO BELL XD
I can just see a kangaroo hopping being hunted to be sold to Dingo Bell while zooming towards the restuarant to feed his family. IT'S LIKE CANNIBALISM ON AN ANIMAL LEVEL. With Australians. - Lime
(Those crazies Aussies.)
121.) "I'M AN ALL-AROUND GOOD OL'-FASHIONED MURDERER" - Naru
(That's nice, dear )
122.) "Note to period 2: Janitorius, the minor god of cleansing, will be riding his dread mount Vacuumius through the room tonight, wielding his Broom of Death. Take what is yours, he spares nothing." - Mr. Keiser
(This was on the board one day when I went in his classroom and I absolutely died shrieking.)
123.) "I can really see Yoshiki questioning his pee." - Lime
(... Why?)
124.) "Aliens were in her donut?"
".... Yes."
"I hope not. o_O My doughnuts are just fine alien-free..." - Jasmine, Lime, and Naru
125.) "Today..."
"On cooking with Hitler." - Madame and Eumeen
(Madame made the deadly mistake of pausing mid-sentence in Eumeen's presense.)
126.) "Does the proton attract the electrons toward it?"
"It s seducing the electrons." - Ms. Penrod and me
(Chemistry class is actually some of the best breeding ground for inside jokes.)
127.) "Is Yoda an allegory of Thomas Hobbes?" - Brenna
(Um It's Brenna. What can I say?)
128.) "Humans are basically viruses with shoes." - Gabe
(This would be Brenna's older brother.)
129.) "Bethany put enough staples in that thing to hold up the Great Wall of China." - Andrew
(We were getting desperate about how to keep The Wall in tact.)
130.) "You re gonna be the next Eminemette!"
"Sweet! I always wanted to be like him. He s my idol."
"Dude. Bre s idol broke." - Bethany and Bre
(I don't quite remember how it broke.)
131.) "I wanna be a whore-boot-wearing helium pimp from Georgia." - Bethany
(Helium is totally a pimp.)
132.) "Go gag yourself with a pitchfork." - Bre
(Yeehaw?)
133.) "Ladies and gentlemen. The three greatest inventions of man: the wheel, fire, and the coin purse." - Mr. Bowman
(Short lesson on economy that led our dear history teacher to take out his coin purse. I was much amused.)
134.) "... Death."
"Rides a scooter."
"Into pretzel infested waters." - Me, Alecia, and Lime
(Captain, we re being attacked by a wave of soggy pretzels!)
135.) "Amphibian Youth. I'd personally beat up the superhero who had that name." - Alecia
(I probably wouldn't stop you.)
136.) "My PE teacher in 6th grade called me.. twinkle toes." - Aya
137.) "Minion."
"Master?"
"You don't have to ride the white pony."
"JUST SAY NO." - Alecia and Aya
(The lessons from D.A.R.E. come in handy in the weirdest of ways.)
138.) "Ew. Imagining Santa dressed up in a leotard and tutu. I won't be sleeping tonight. I'll be sitting at my non-existant chimney with a baseball bat." - Alecia
(Well... wouldn t you?)
139.) "... Whenever I try to type "insulted" I keep get "insluted" somehow..." - Nell
(And Freud has a field day.)
140.) "Tom Sawyer = SD:FLKJ DIE, BITCH." - Lime
(I couldn t agree more.)
141.) "Dayquil is happy. It makes the world shiny and whee" - Nosha
(Thus supporting the theory that daytime cold medicine is full of LSD.)
142.) "You can go back to jail now."
"Yay!" - Nuxoll and Zahl
(Well, he could.)
143.) "So Phil is a bunny-donkey. He's a bonkey!" - Bethany
144.) "If you re going to rape someone-- God, that sounds bad already-- don t do it in Colorado." - Bowman
(You d find this funny too if you spent the past hour or so getting a lecture on courts at the federal and state level.)
145.) "One of my cousins will bring in a group of friends and one of them will be gay. So all the guys will start hitting on each other to find out who it is. If they can't figure it out, they'll all start hitting on the girls. It's the Gay Game." - Bethany
(I am making it one of my life goals to meet this girl's family.)
146.) "Hey, Clare, you wanna go hit a janitor knowing they can't legally hit us back?" - Brandon
(Boredom and lunch break should never join forces.)
147.) "Heather, you got ran over by my car." - Josh
(Oh, the tragedies that ensue from drawing blind.)
148.) "Oh, my God, how d you get "elf" out of that, it looks like a tusk!" - Dan
(Pictionary!)
149.) "Only Christine could manage to make Christmas a heart-stopping fire hazard experience." - Mom
(Aunt Christine was putting candles on her tree the old-fashioned way.)
150.) "Dad, you have an anal-retentive s'more." - Me
(Well... he did.)
151.) "You know what they say, all's fair in war and... other things." - Mr. Hanson
(Yes, wonderful explanation of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.)
152.) "People get on when I get off." - Lime
(Too easy.)
153.) "How can I explain it. o_O Take a wrestler and give him girly-dollish flippy brown hair. Shoulder length." - Lime
(Conan the Barbarian?)
154.) "What, did he scratch his ass absentmindedly? ^^;; 'I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD TURN GOLD NEXT. *scratchscratch* ...Solved my problem.'" - Lime
(Fun with King Midas. 8D)
155.) "I am the all powerful, all seeing, all doing, all not-doing, the one, the only Mr. Asia of Neo China!.... *cricket chirping*... *takes off disguise* ..HA! Fooled you all! I am truly Heero, formerly known as the Suicide Weird Kid from the Colonies!...Okay, Im ... *steps through the door* I truly enjoyed your presence in this website. Adding me to your quotes list was truly unexpected. May humor and good fortune of not getting SARS flow upon you. Also, beware of the three-toed elephant: they tend to steal three" - Eumeen
(Eumeen was upset that I took this out of my guestbook, but his name and email were ruining the borders. ^^; So I put it back here.)
156.)"I want to be the muffin man's bitch..." - Kiri
(We all do.)
157.) "My, my, my, it is simply raining chainsaws and ducks..." - Becky
(Yay, Becky made my quotes list! But I must wonder what the hell is going on over there...)
158.) "I am happy. for I have a happy meal. you can buy happyness! in a ragedy white paper sack even!" - Master
(Happiness and death in the same sack. What a deal!)
159.) "Do not mock Billy Bob Joe and Dave! That's why I'm in the Ethan Frome book club."
"And who did the work?"
"That would be Esmeralda." - Bethany and Bre
(The moral of today's story is to always put your name on your paper.)
160.) "Greetings! Welcome to the programming chamber. Here, we hammer information into your head that will not provide you wil necessary survival skills but will hopefully transform you into a decent citizen, the perfect pawn for taking over the world (See chapter 17, page 1347 on 'Taking Over the World'). Cheap nourishment will be provided to you in the food hall at the expense of your parental units well-being. At the sound of the tone, take your seat." - Phil
(Wow. Phil makes school sound so fun. 8B)
161.) "No! Not an icebox! They plugged the fridge into a tree!" - Bethany
(Part of our elaborate plan for how the South could have won the Civil War.)
162.) "Dude. I wanna see a gas mask on a horse."
"Dude! It'd be like... Super Nazi horse. Of death!" - Me and Bethany
(Should we feel bad for making light of World War I?)
163.) "Wow. Nearly 5:30 and it's still light. Of course... it could just be that Pizza Hut over there." - Mom
(There's this Pizza Hut near the school that looks like it's trying to signal UFOs with the lights in the parking lot.)
164.) "Dude. Ethan is going to look like a wannabe Jamaican." - Bethany
(Ethan Frome is a sexy beast.)
165.) "No, I don't want to imagine puppet rape!" - Me
(I'm so glad I don't remember why I said that.)
166.) "I totally could have made Ethan a bellydancer." - Bethany
(His shirt was shredding... ^^;)
167.) "Andrew, is Mattie dressed yet?" - I don't remember
(Mattie is a puppet. A PUPPET.)
168.) "Feel the energy in your hips!" - Ms. Fennessy
(... She was telling us how to stand for proper singing.)
169.) "I really don't like seeing pretty boys and cute urban girls in farm settings." - Mr. Bowman
(Apparently the movie Cold Mountain was too sissy.)
170.) "That's really sad. There's a White Sea and a Black Sea."
"Notice the White Sea is a lot smaller..." - Me and Bethany
(Hee hee. Water is racist.)
171.) "Katie, it looks so much better to get okay grades in hard classes than to get good grades in easy classes. Unless you're going to WSU..." - Lauren
(State joke.)
172.) "Clare, I say we declare a preemptive strike and nuke Denmark and their non-existant army Even though they haven't done anything to us. Yet..." - Bethany
(So we like making fun of the war. Big deal.)
173.) "Hot and heavy in France? Fat prostitutes." - Eumeen
(It's Madame's fault for the bad word choice. We were talking about how they banned religious statements in public schools in France.)
174.) "We should tape these conversations and sell them. We'd be the biggest moneymakers since prostitution." - Zack
(I love the bus ride home.)
175.) "It was like WWI in the kitchen with pea-snot rockets!" - Bethany
(She was explaining how her relative got a pea stuck in his nose...)
176.) "When you're raped by potatoes..." - Eumeen
(We were talking about improper use for vegetables during lunch. Strangely, I don't think carrots or anything relatively normal ever came up.)
177.) "Van der waals are then weakest intermolecular attraction. It's an 'instantanious' attraction. What does that mean?"
"It's like a one-night stand between elements?" - Ms. Penrod and me
(Chemistry shouldn't be this amusing.)
178.) "Clare, goddess of Jell-o, may I borrow your notes on Marx?" - Phil
(I feel so mighty with my new title.)
179.) "All sweet, intelligent, sexy men are not single. BECAUSE THEY HAVE BOYFRIENDS." - Alecia
(Oh, no. She's not bitter.)
180.) "I had French porn this time. NO WAIT. Freedom porn." - Nell
(Tee hee.)
181.) "You're talking like a politician; just give me numbers and shut up!" - Jarrod
(Don t we all feel like saying this at least once? XD)
182.) "There is much death."
"In a motor boat?"
"That I don't know."
"How about a RV? I could see the Grim Reaper in a RV." - Me and K
(Dude. Death never gets a break.)
183.) "Yum. Cancer. Er. I mean caffeine." - Megan
(Eh, soda'll give you cancer soon enough.)
184.) "OH NO. JASMINE. YOUR EGO BALLOON. I SAW IT ROLLING DOWN THE STREET CRYING." - Alecia
(I have no idea what was going on, but I screamed with laughter.)
185.) "FEMME LA BOUCHE." - Alecia
(Yes! I will woman my mouth!)
186.) "I GOT AN IDEA. LET'S ALL BECOME HIPPIES. AND MOVE TO ANTARCTICA." - Alecia
187.) "Well, is there an appropriate use for the f-word?" - Dad
(They were complaining about ghetto kids using the f-word inappropriately on some radio program.)
188.) "Who owns Microsoft? The government. Who owns Joe's Hardware? Joe."
"Dude. I wanna own Joe's Hardware."
"... No you don t." - Bowman, Me, and Bre
(Socialism, the two-second definition.)
189.) "Wait. So does this mean all minority religions are wrong?"
"Clare, does this mean there s no Buddha? But s he s like a golden Santa Claus!" - Me and Bethany
(I dare you to connect that to a discussion about fascism. Because we managed to do it.)
190.) "By your powers combined, I am Charles Darwin!" - Kiri
(This is Kiri in the early morning )
191.) "Clare, I would love to see a war between the Communist geese and the monarch butterflies." - Bethany
(Okay, another Humanities thingy. After WWI, Americans got really fearful about immigrants because they didn t want communism to spread. So migrating is now communist. I don't remember why the geese are going to war with the butterflies, though.)
192.) "Ever wonder why Scrappy Doo speaks fluent English when none of Scooby s other relatives do?"
"Oh, I have the answer. Scrappy s adopted; he s not a Doo he's a don't." - me and Zack
(I m sure we ALL think that.)
193.) "See, this is one of the things I love about being black, because African countries are too poor to support terrorist attacks."
"No, people will just think you give them AIDS." - me and Bethany
(9/11 conversation gone horribly wrong.)
194.) "The U.S. -- Global cleansing one country at a time!" - Cody
(Mwahaha.)
195.) "So everyone was kinda high off him " - Bowman
(How else can you explain the rise of Hitler and Nazism?)
196.) "I ll do my best to act like an idiot." - Jalal
(And he did a wonderful job.)
197.) "Nice job, Ameena, way to color!" - Bowman
(I love it when lessons include BS art projects.)
198.) "Arthur and Lancelot were best friends. They shared everything. Even Arthur's wife." - Kiri
199.) "It commited suicide!"
"It didn t commit suicide on the floor, did it?"
"No, it commited suicide under your leg." - Bre and me
(Commiting suicide seems to roughly translate to randomly falling on the floor.)
200.) "Mother Teresa and Tom!"
"... No, Mr. Bowman." - Bowman and Sheena
(We were arguing about who was the most despicable character in The Great Gatsby, and a whole bunch of guys were cheering that Tom was the best for having two women. Cause, you know... they're stupid like that. Then Mr. Bowman decided to make that little statement hinting at Tom's non-existant saintliness.)
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