In this place you can request a project for us to do, you can give us some good ideas, ask any questions you would like to...ask...and read some pending requests made by other people.
There's so many requests coming in these days, that I've decided to just pick the best ones and throw the other ones out. So if you send in a request and it doesn't get put on the site, you can try again.
Oh yes, and to the right of me is my younger brother Fizz. Everybody say hi!
Response: We were thinking about it. And we will probably get one eventually, if everything keeps going good.
6/27 - "hoochi mama"
Response: Yee-ah. So that's what you wanna be when you grow up, eh?
6/27 - "Call me! you know who/"
Response: Too bad I don't know who this is, shorty.
6/27 - "now wasn't that special?"
Response: Mmmmmyesssss. Couchcoughsinnersough
6/27 - "chester, lester, fester the molester! one big happy family! would you like to join? pleeeeaaaaase kill me now! belly button!"
Response: What the hell are you smoking, PCP? I had a friend that started using a new drug called Phonic. He couldn't stop using it. So one day I went up to him and I said "Hey! You got hooked on Phonics." Then we laughed and he never smoked again.
6/22 - "You don't smoke do you?"
Response: No.
6/22 - "I'm going to miss you when I don't talk to you for ever b/c I'll be with my hehehehe friend."
Response: Oooookay. You go ahead and do that. You so crazy.
6/22 - "On N64 I just play it to make Mario do tricks and make him dance. Do you do that?"
Response: Sometimes I do. I also play some of the levels occasionally.
6/22 - "Great site I love it"
Response: Thank you. Thank you very much.
6/22 - "Have you seen the Hulk"
Response: No, not yet. I thought about it though.
6/22 - "The whole chocolate milk thing, that's racist. Because it's like taking a black and white person and making them have kids. Now, do you want syrupy kids?"
Response: Are you saying that a black person cannot have a child with a white person? Now that is racist.
6/22 - "Do YOU wanna hear a joke? A cat and a dog"
Response: This is both stupid and lame...mine is better. Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA.
6/22 - "So...dolphins are the only animals who have sex for fun...but do they use protection, and can they get STDs?"
Response: Um, dolphins are not the only animals that have sex for fun. Humans do also. Fuuuh fuh fuuh fuh. I am pretty sure dolphins don't use protection.
6/16 - "Jack, love the nickname. Thanks dude" From JGirl*
Response: Anytime.
6/16 - "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and GAY!!..er..HAPPY!!"
Response: L-A-M-E. The lame-o-meter is going through the roof right about now.
6/16 - "On the competition page, it says you're going to get the ultimate revenge by the "Bashing of Cite Productions". What and when is that going to be?"
Response: Well, I had some stuff planned, but then a realized that I don't need to embarrass them. They do a good job of embarrassing themselves.
6/16 - "Umm...is Smart Productions actually DOING anything????? ---yeckB"
Response: Not that I am aware of.
6/16 - "You'll be black and I'll be white. Wanna play some chessssss?"
Response: Sure. I will beat the pants of you, my dear. BWAHA...BWAHAHAHA!
6/16 - "Will Dork Productions sponsor my race car?"
Response: Sure we will. Why wouldn't we? Now all you need is a race car.
6/16 - "Does Fantasia make you think of me?"
Response: Hmmm...no, not really. It makes me think of that Mickey Mouse cereal, with the blue marshmallows.
6/16 - "Are you a material girl?"
Response: Well, you do know that we are living in a material world, right? ...No, I'm not.
6/16 - "For Father's Day do you wish you were a father so you could get a new truck?"
Response: Heck yeah. Who doesn't fantasize about that?
6/16 - "Have you ever eaten your mom's pizza when shes not looking, if so did you fell guilty after, if not did you wish you did? One time I took my dad's pizza but he said it's ok."
Response: Uh, fraid not. But I wish I did. It was one of those pizzas with the pineapple on top. Oh man, those are good.
6/16 - "Do you wish Nathan were a guy so so you could have a gay coupleship?"
Response: Number one: Nathan is already a guy. Number two: Have you been reading my diary again? I guess I'll need to get a new hiding place.
6/16 - "i believe that the member of dp that lost his legs in a car crash, also lost his genetalia. (did i spell that right?) lets call him stumpy"
Response: My God, man. You totally butchered the English language. Back on topic, yes, I also believe that he lost his manhood in the car crash. Stumpy is sort of lame, though. How about NOWANGMAN. I think that is pretty good.
6/16 - "Did you know that NAthan is going out with Secret Agent Dan?"
Response: No, I did not. And do you know why? Hmm...because he ISN'T!!!! Haha!
6/16 - "HAHA!!! we prank called you last nite!!!!!!!!!!"
Response: Yeah, you did. And it was pretty sad too. It bothered me how all of those girls laughed really hard at that dumb prank call. And it's spelled 'night.'
6/16 - "Okay, I would just like to say that you guys are fantastic. This website is great. Keep up the good work! - - a fan"
Response: Thank you very much for the positive feedback. We here at D.P. appreciate it very much.
6/16 - "Hello Jack. I just want to comment on the great site! I remember it during the school year and I still visit it! Keep up the good work, boys!" From Mrs. Larkin
Response: I am assuming that this request is not false, and that this is actually the real Mrs. Larkin. In that case, thanks...although it is a little weird having a teacher visit my website. Just don't read the below request.
6/16 - "What's yellow, and goes "Chiep, Chiep.?"
Response: Chiep? Do you mean cheep? In that case, it would have to be an Asian prostitute. No offense to anyone.
6/16 - "What the hell is up with all the stupid requests about who they think is sexy"
Response: I do not know. I will agree that they are quite stupid. No more of them have come in though, so it's all good.
6/9 - "I have to kinda agree with the person that said Steven Green is dead sexy cause he is but I happen to know and even sexy beast than him Mitchell Fendorf! GOD is he sexy!!!"
Response: Uh..no comment.
6/9 - "alright the pok'e'mon deal that's the best, everything else is pretty retarded, but i guess that's the point, and if its not sorry"
Response: You liked the pokemon adventure, eh? Well, that's nice to hear. I was thinking of making more things like that. Maybe I will.
6/9 - "Hey Jack Ferguson! Will you give me a copy of one of your movies???"Your cuz, Kim
Response: I'll tell him you want one. Mmmk?
6/9 - "Who do you think Micah likes??? Any success???"
Response: I'm not going to lie to you. I haven't said anything to him.
6/7 - "Do you think Johny Knoxville or Nathan are sexy? I know you, Jack, doesn't. Because you're not gay."
Response: I understood the first sentece despite the bad grammer. But I lost you at the second sentece. I do not think either of them are sexy...because I do not swing that way.
6/7 - "Is it your dream to be on Jackass?"
Response: Ah man, that would be so awesome. And with my current state of self, that is straight where I am headed when I grow up.
6/7 - "Does your family have a SUV?"
Response: Yeah. A Lexus, to be exact.
6/7 - "Have you ever fallen of a canoe?"
Response: I have never even been in a canoe. It looks uncomfortable.
6/7 - "When you hit the enter key does it make a noise?"
Response: It makes the regular 'click' noise. Let me try again.
Nope, nothing unusual.
6/7 - "Do you like permanent markers?.?.?"
Response: I love those things. They smell so good, I sometimes just sit in my room and take a big sniff every minute or so.
6/7 - "ok, ur all doing a great job and dp is wonderful, but i have a suggestion (u dont have to take my advice, but whatever). personally i think ppl would like you a lot more if u werent so mean to ppl. sometims u guys are just plain mean. try being nice."
Response: ...O..k...I'm not quite sure which 'ppl' you are referring to. And if we are mean...most of the time we are just kidding around. Would you happen to have any ecamples?
6/7 - "lalalalalalalalala...........lala"
Response: Tra la la!
6/7 - "Jack- PLease tell Micah to ask that chick out, they'd look really cute together!!!"
Response: I'll do my best. I have a good idea of who the chick is...but if I am wrong, it'll be hilarious.
6/7 - "You are REALLY dead sexy says Nathan Roberts."
Response: So, Nathan finally admits the truth. It has taken you all these years to finally say the obvious. *clap clap*
6/6 - "You guys are really doing an awesome job and yes, sure, Jack is dead sexy."
Response: Thank you...and thank you again.
6/6 - "Steven Green is sooooo hot. If you wanna talk dead sexy, just look at him."
Response: Ooookay. I don't really want to comment on this one.
6/6 - "Hey Genius! If you hate those "I love you" and "Fire Chris Ray" posts then how about...STOP POSTING THEM!"
Response: I usually post all the requests I get. To not post a request would not be the Dork Productions way. Unless the request is a repeat...then I don't bother.
6/4 - "i want chris ray fired because hes really gay and just not on thursdays"
Response: Well toooooo bad. I have supreme power. Booya!
6/4 - "Hello. I am a 25 year old man living in Cali. I was told that the guys that made this website are also starting a gay community website for gay rights. Please contact me at (314) 554-3298 anytime. *Personal requests are also welcome boys* - Jonathan"
Response: That was surprisingly disturbing. I must congratulate you on using capital letters, though. This is probably the first request this year I've seen someone do that. And one of these days...I'm going to dial that number just to see if it's real.
6/4 - "banjokazooie?"
Response: It is a video game for N64. Probably my second favorite game.
6/4 - "you guys should hire a girl and do a make out scene...and dont say."we are now hiring girls to be in d.p." cuz youre not!"
Response: We are now hiring girls in D.P.
6/4 - "mmmmm...sugar"
Response: Yes, sugar is quite the tasty treat. Infact, I may go into the kitchen right now and pour me a big ol' bowl of sugar.
6/4 - "will you go out with me jack???"
Response: STOP ASKING.
6/4 - "i STILL hate you.....heeheehee*evil laugh*"
Response: Whatever. I know who this is, so I am not going to comment.
6/4 - "I think people should stop sending in those freaking gay 'I love you" and "fire chris ray" and all of that *pardon my language* ****. this is a page to help you guys...not to say what babies names should be...i just want to say keep up the good work!"
Response: This might just be the best request I have ever read. I am also getting tired of all of those nonsense requests. It's gotten to the point where I've just stopped putting most of them up.
Thank you very much.
6/4 - "Wouldn't it be funny if you guys had a movie where you like hurt Nathan?"
Response: Yeah, that would be pretty darn hilarious. Except Nathan has the ability to fight back. So I would rather use Jack Ferguson instead.
6/4 - "Were gonna need a sample for a science experminent that we're doing to see how many of the D.P. guys are gay."
Response: You know, I'm pretty sure you can't tell somebody's sexuality from their handwriting. And I assure you none of the D.P. guys are gay...except for maybe Ryan. And do you see that little button to the left of the 'Enter' key? That's called and apostrophe. Try pushing it sometime.
5/31 - "GOD! you are sexy"
Response: Correction: I am dead sexy. Thanks for noticing.
5/31 - "i love you...i love you not....i love you....you love you not"
Response: I'm sorry if my eyes decieve me, but did you right 'you love you?' Eh, whatever. I don't want to right anything else.
5/31 - "i heard that is WAS a gay mens club .....and not only on thursdays........and Megan Bailey sent that first one just to let you know....cause i have social studies with her...well had...cause now we are freshmans! yay arent you excited? ok bye"
Response: Yes, I am excited. And if you are interested on joining our Gay men's section of this website, contact Kyle on AIM.
5/31 - "Jerryboy McJensin it is! thanks sweetie"
Response: Mmmk. You're welcome I guess.
5/31 - "We laugh at you long and hard"
Response: Heh heh...long...heh heh...hard...
5/31 - "IS it true that Smart productions and Dork productions are going to have a water fight or something and whats this i hear about Fuzzy productions?"
Response: Smart Productions was planning to have a water fight or something at some school I've never been to. It didn't end up happening. And I have never heard of Fuzzy Productions.
Click here to look at other D.P. copies.
5/30 - "is the vicious rumor true?...is d.p. secretly a gay men's club?...but that's just what i HEARD in SOCIAL STUDIES on TUESDAY when you guys were SITTING RIGHT THERE and SOMEONE said that"
Response: Only on Thursdays.
5/30 - "i do not have pms!!!"
Response: Good for you. Now eat your vegetables.
5/30 - "did u know jack f is poopy and i luv cheese!! eat cheese, u cheese eating banana money terd butt!"
Response: What are you, a third grader? Because you sure sound like one.
5/30 - "i should fire your ass for saying that"
Response: Rrrright. I don't really want to comment on this one. So I won't.
5/30 - "do you have the urge for herbal essences?"
Response: I feel that I've got the urge. Natural bitannical. I've got the uuuurge to essence. Yeah....that was slighty disturbing.
5/30 - "Are you guys going to be doing anything over the summer or will things shut down until fall?"
Response: Shut down Dork Productions until the fall?!? Nonsense. We will work through the summer, creating new movies for everyone to enjoy.
5/30 - "tell us about the new movie. i hear its great"
Response: Yeah, we are working on a big new movie. And yes, it is great. Click here to find out soem stuff about the new film.
5/20 - "Nathan doesn't want to be on your page take him off"
Response: When I hear Nathan say those exact words to me in person, then I will. Otherwise...no.
5/20 - "Hey thanks for telling me to keep saying this Fire CHRiS RAY! well thats all for now"
Response: Okay, lemmee ask you this question: Why exactly do you want Chris to be fired?
5/20 - "OK, we here at Pickle Productions admit that you were right....Our company is now non-existant and I am here to declare your superiority "All hail D.P." well, we tried"
Response: You'd better be worshipping us...you flea. Haha. Well, I guess I am sorry to hear that bit of information. Maybe next time you'll be able to stay in the air instead of crashing to the ground.
5/20 - "i got 28 on my first try for keepy uppy. it sucks, doesn't it? i knew it!! im gonna go cry. boohoo"
Response: Yes, you do suck. I will agree with you on that one.
5/16 - "um yea whoever keeps sending in the fire chris things...KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! YEA FIRE CHRIS thats all i have to say"
Response: Maybe. And that is all I have to say.
5/16 - "Bloop!"
Response: Buzz.
5/16 - "you know what-18 is pretty good for meso just let me pretend i beat everyone else"
Response: You're living in a fantasy world, man. You gotta practice more, and stop smoking. Smoking affects your health in many ways. It turns your teeth yellow, makes breathing harder, and it can even cause cancer. Most people that smoke regret they even started. So, kids, don't smoke.
5/16 - "Why is there a picture of Nathan getting killed?? And a big pencil? Does that mean he was a big pencil?"
Response: Well, the pencil is actuall the size of a real pencil, Nathan is just very, very tiny. And that animal creature thing is from a video game, incase you were wondering. So, yeah.
5/16 - "I don't get the keepy uppy game?"
Response: Well, it stopped working for a couple days, but now it is working again. You should play it right now.
5/16 - "Nathan really does want to be on your site more"
Response: He hasn't said anything. So poop on you.
5/16 - "Your friend don is scaring me."
Response: I'll tell him to stop. Oh wait, I can't, because DON DOESN'T EXIST!!!!
5/16 - "Please don"
Response: What the crap does that mean? My name isn't Don, it's Jack.
5/16 - "I love you Jack."
Response: That's great.
5/16 - "It's not possible to scare Dork Productions away right? Cause youre the best right?"
Response: That is so true, that I won't even comment. Yopu said everything I was going to say.
5/16 - "hop on the banana boat"
Response: That has got to be the coolest product themesong ever made. Well, there's also all of those old Old Navy ads. 'You're invited. Can you be there? I don't know what I'm gonna wear.' Oh man, those were great.
5/16 - "Jack....what should we name our son?"
Response: Howabout...Jerryboy McJensin. That name is kick ass.
5/16 - "*throws a handful of dwarf hamsters at jack* go boy! go!"
Response: Hey thanks. Now I can feed my family. Should I use them in the soup or the spaghetti?
5/16 - "But...you can trust me! But right now I need you...you're going to be the father of our son!"
Response: Oh joy. I'm a father. And I'm not even allowed to drive a car. Yippy. This is probably the happiest day of my whole life. My only regret is that I never actually asked you what you're name was.
5/11 - "RAWR!!!! Ooooo I scared Dork Productions away, now smart(er) productions is going to take over the world!!!" From sp person
Response: You are just downright annoying. If you keep sending in things like this I will stop putting your requests on.
5/11 - "i got eighteen on that game thing"From Holly
Response: Well..I guess that's good for your first try. I've gotten over 170 on that game. Keep on bouncing!
5/10 - "Fire CHris Ray!!!! please every body wants you to!"
Response: I'm still thinkin' what the best choice would be.
5/10 - "Atleast Smart Productions has tornadoes. I bet none of you have TORNADOES."
Response: Damn. You got me there. All we have are hurricanes and eathquakes.
5/10 - "SP ROX!!!!!"
Response: D.P. r0x0rs j00r b0xors.
5/10 - "Nice website Lovely art."
Response: Thank you very much. Not many people appreciate the Art section.
5/6 - "I want ur mom"
Response: Funny, I was just about to say the same thing to you....okay, I'll admit it...I couldn't think of anything better to say.
5/6 - "Are you going to make Project Pokon now?"
Response: Be still, young grasshopper. It will come when you are ready.
5/6- "Hey"
Response: Hello, wanna be friends?
5/6 - "Hey Jack, this has got to be the best one i have seen for kids our age. You guys have done a really nice job. Even though your site is called Dork Productions, it is still better than smart Productions. I know you guys don't know me that well but I was wondering if I could be in Dork Productions" From Mitch.
Response: You've already done step one: flattery. Next you have to tell us why you would be good for the company and then we will take a vote. I wish I could say more but there really isn't anything else to say.
5/6 - "hi..."
Response: Hello, wanna be friends?
5/6 - "blah blah blah blah blah"
Response: OOOooo I love that story!
5/6 - "we should have a poll to see which company is the best!! Go DP"
Response: There is no point in taking a poll. We already know who'll win.
5/6- "YEA! I scored a perfect 10 on the movie game! Do I win anything?"
Response: No, now get out of my office. Spoiled children nowadays, always wanting something in return...
5/6 - "um yea do you guys make movies or something?"
Response: I am not even going to bother answering this one.
5/6 - "do you ever dream about girraffes?"
Response: Every once in a while. But my doctor says it's normal. Well...I don't feel that well so I'm not going to type anymore for this request.
5/6 - "Fire Chris Ray now!!! pretty please with sugar on top"
Response: Mmmmm sugar. Just add some cherries and you're there.
5/6 - "Will you go out with me Jack?"
Response: Depends who you are. Doesn't anybody realize that they are supposed to type their first names when they send in a request?
5/6 - "man! compared to smart productions and pickle productions this site kicks major ass!!!!"
Response: Yes I know. I look at their sites if I want a self esteem boost.
5/6 - "hehe! catch me if you can!"
Response: Haha. That was a good one, hehe. You're a regular Robin Williams or something. Haheh.
5/6 - "But wait...that's weird...I got my pregnancy tests back and Jack's gonna be my baby's daddy...someones been busy!"
Response: Wait one minute, Missy. I haven't seen you for five months. *Gasp* You've been with another man, haven't you?!? And I thought I could trust you...
5/6 - "how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"
Response: Pfft. Everybody knows that a woodchuck would chuckas much wood as a woodchuck could chuck is a woodchuck could chuck wood. Anyways. your "real" answer can be found right here.