When John came back�. Well John wasn�t gone long, he died on the Monday and I felt him back on the Tuesday. At first I convinced myself it was my imagination, as it was only little things happening feeling, touches on my leg the way John used to when he was alive. Feeling the sheet tugged under me when I went to bed. Wednesday though I saw my daughter walk through the front door, and I was sure I saw someone was with her, it was a dark shadow came in with her framing her body as if it was glued to her. She wasn�t aware it was there, and it disappeared half way down the hall. Still sceptical I put it down to a trick of the light. Later that night just as it was getting dark I saw orange sparks around my two dogs in the yard. I looked out but no smoke so nobody had a bonfire or barbecue on. Thought that my eyes were playing tricks I was tired after all. That night I went to bed, and as I got comfortable I felt the quilt being lifted and someone climbing in beside me, needless to say I shot out again went downstairs and shaken I made a coffee, still I convinced myself I was being ridiculous.
With everything going on, and the funeral to arrange, I was under a lot of pressure and I hadn�t had much sleep. Couldn�t be anything but my imagination I was missing him that�s all. Thursday kept feeling something stroking my hair, and tugging at my trousers, I thought maybe it would go away. That night I went to bed I was so tired I left the light on though I was trying to settle when I felt someone sit on the end of the bed, I opened my eyes and looked across the bed. There I and saw an image of a dog sitting on the pillow, it looked like a greyhound it was brown with darker markings. I thought ah John is giving me a tip for the races he liked a bet, trouble was it didn�t have any number on its jacket. Well I turned over the dog had disappeared and I was too tired to think. I only slept for a couple of hours but I felt a little better even after so little sleep.
Friday my husband�s sister came to stay. I told her what had happened, and she didn�t believe me. She said she couldn�t feel her brother in the house, and she would know if he were there. She has believed she feels spirits herself. I didn�t know what to think now was I going round the twist. I was certain something was happening. Well I asked the vicar, he said no such thing as ghosts, maybe I was just mourning deeply, and that I could get bereavement counselling. Its because I was upset he said. So I asked the undertaker had he ever come across a similar situation? Same reply as the vicar, they were both kindly towards me, but I thought it was either spirits, or I was crazy.
That night I again went to bed with the light on, no sooner had I got in bed when I saw this circle of light appear in the corner of the room on the ceiling. A beam of light came down onto my face, and I felt a weight on top of me pinning me down. I felt my strength draining away from me I couldn�t move. Needless to say I seemed to know not to worry, although I didn�t know why, I seemed to know what was going to happen. In the beam there were two white pearly discs, about the size of a plate. In the centre of these discs were rainbow colours swirling around? They came down slowly from the ceiling one stopped halfway and the other came down to my face. The colours never stopped moving and I heard a voice ask if it could get inside me. I didn�t actually speak but I felt myself say yes. Anyway I felt something trying to get in my mouth, at this I panicked. And it stopped then I felt a drumming in my ear it took a few minutes but suddenly I felt something rushing around inside me. Then it was out and the disc was in front of my face again. I heard a voice ask for a kiss I closed my eyes and did as I was told. This disc started floating up to the ceiling again, the other disc was coming down as it come near the other one it swerved out of the beam and back in again. In front of the one going up, it was still travelling fast and I thought it was going to hit me in the face. It stopped abruptly right in front of me and just stayed there. It seemed to be looking me over, I felt as if I was under examination. It couldn�t have lasted more than a few minutes but it seemed longer. Then both discs travelled up to the ceiling the beam disappeared as the discs passed up. In the circle of light I saw a man and woman and a young boy, I didn�t recognise them, my father was with them also, he was young again. He was smiling. The woman cupped her hands round the young boy�s face and he put his arms up to him. I thought this boy was my husband crossing over to his mother. I felt pleased to see it, then the circle of light disappeared. I found out later I had not worked that out right, but that is now that I am getting the right answers. I felt released and my strength returned. Now I was thinking this couldn�t possibly be my imagination that was it wide-awake and I got up for coffee and cigarettes again. I thought about it all night, and convinced myself John must just be letting me know he is ok. Then it must be over I felt more relaxed and told my sister-in-law what had happened. She thought I was making fun of her beliefs, she got quite angry, and told me if anything did happen around the house she would know. Oh well I thought nothing more will happen now I have seen this. Didn�t know what to call it vision or what.
Saturday I had a phone call from Interflora my sister in Switzerland ordered a wreath to be delivered to the house, Monday was the funeral, and they wanted to know if I would rather have a basket of flowers sent to keep in the house. I thought that was a good idea so the flowers were delivered. They were beautiful. I couldn�t take my eyes off them. I sat looking at them for long periods of time in the following week. I know now I was meditating, but at the time I didn�t know what I was doing. Just felt the need to sit and stare closed my mind to everything around me. I believe now I must have been open for two weeks and I wasn�t grounding myself. That night I had convinced myself if it was John sending me a message, then I thought its over. I had heard about spirits going into the light, and therefore that must have been what he was showing me. There had been a young man who didn�t like my son, he had been causing trouble and even came to my house and threatened my husband and I. I was still annoyed at this, I thought if John could reach me now, he could go and put the wind up this young man give him a nightmare or something. Anyway I fell asleep thinking about this. I slept well for a few hours, but I was woken up suddenly. I opened my eyes and there in front of me was a pearly disc, but this one was different. Instead of bright rainbow colours, they were dark and frightening. I heard a chant David�s dad is dead it said over and over, getting faster and faster. As I heard the chant the disc was moving right up to my face and back in time with the beat. My heart was in my throat somewhere, I was terrified, and then it disappeared. I couldn�t move although I wanted to run from it. Needless to say I shot out of bed again as soon as it had gone. I thought if they were showing me how I could be frightened, maybe they were showing me how they could sort this young man out.
Sunday I made a late lunch for everyone, but when I sat down to eat I couldn�t face it. I left everyone in the dining room and sat in the front room on my own. It was 3.30pm. Suddenly I was aware of a dark shadow rising through the floor. It was in the exact spot where I had found my husbands body. It sat up and then stood for a moment it was my husbands outline, but had no features. Then it walked straight out through the wall into the street. That was a relief I thought, that must be the end of my strange experiences, as the funeral was the next day. That night I slept peacefully.
Monday was hectic the funeral was in the afternoon it was a nice service, we went to the local pub afterwards but I left early. I had to get home; I left my son in charge of the guests. Too many memories and I needed to be quiet. My brother came home with me and I poured my heart out to him. It did me good and I felt sure John was at peace now. My sister-in-law came back to the house an hour later, she had decided to go home that evening as well, she collected her bags and caught the train home. She was still annoyed at me. And upset at the loss of her young brother of course. I could understand her feelings, here�s me saying he was around the house, and she couldn�t feel his presence. After all she had seen and felt her mother around her for years. That night was peaceful nothing happened at all. I felt relieved if it was all in my mind or if it was from the other side it didn�t matter now. I had got through it in one piece, I knew if it was John come back, he meant me no harm.
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