CHAPTER THREE......
I walked outside and set off to get away, I had no thoughts as to where I would go, however it was early morning about 5.00 am. I had no sense of direction either because I found myself in a dead-end. I felt as if I could send sparks into the sky and orchestrate my own fireworks display.
I could see electric around in the air, and thought I could send sparks into the air and display would begin. The staff sent the police and my son to get me and they took me to a mental hospital.
They found me easy enough but I was adament I was waiting for the fireworks, the policeman and woman were patient with me and eventually got in the back of the van and they took me to the other hospital three miles away. I heard a voice saying leave her alone she will be all right.
They put me in a secure wing and I had a nurse with me all the time. They brought me a cup of coffee and told me to drink it and calm down. I didn't, though another patient said she would like a coffee. I went to pass mine to her was stopped. They told the other woman she could not have it, I thought it might be drugged. They kept asking me to have a drink but still I refused. The doctor came and said I needed medication and they were going to give me an injection, I said I would take pills and the doctor gave me two my mouth was so dry I could not swallow them and i spit them out. Nobody noticed. I was still very agitated and still thought I was in labour.
Then I was taken a sitting room, just two nurses and me I think they expected me to collapse. They stood each side of mewaiting for me to fall. I heard one say they were not working. The other patients had gone to lunch and the nurse took me in and I had something to eat. My family doctor came to the hospital and I was told I had been sectioned and not allowed to leave the building.
Thet got me a solicitor and I was given papers explaining I was held under the mental health act. The first two days I had always had a member of staff with me. Gradually I started to calm down but was still talking nonsense as far as everyone was concerned. The first day I had a big influence on the other woman patients, because I said I was having a baby and should be in maternity hospital instead, they wanted babies too. The staff was lucky there were only a few women in. All of them were convinced they were pregnant too. I settled down and the voices stopped and I did not see anything strange. But I knew that I wasn't mentally ill and I had actually been through this strange two weeks, I don't know why though.
The staff asked me about the voices and what I had seen. They listened and made no comments to me. They gave me tablets and by the fourth day I was rational again. The doctor sectioned me for a month. I could not leave the hospital ward unless accompanied by a member of staff. I spent my time thinking about the events going over and over it in my mind. I came to a couple of conclusions one was not my place to judge people. They shall reap what they sow just as I did. In wishing the spirits could get back at those two people, the spirits had given punishment back to me. Well that was lesson one. You have to forgive peoples mistakes they have to answer to themselves.
I didn't know what other experiences meant but realise I would get the answers eventually.
A catholic nun visited the ward that I was in, and asked if I would like to talk with her about the experiences I had been through, she listened politely, but she thought I was just rambling. She didn't believe me, but she gave me a small prayer book, this brought back memories of when I was younger and when I went to church regularly.
After the first week in the ward I was trusted to go out on my own and was told I could appeal against the section. I did and was released the following week. The doctor said it proberly was a break down due to the strain I was under because John died. I had to have a community nurse visit me in case I showed signs of psychopathic tendencies.
I was nervous about coming back to the house in case things started to happen again. Everything was fine I took the tablets I was given on discharge. When they ran out I went to my doctor for a repeat prscrition. This time I had a leaflet inside the box of pills telling me the side effects, I read it and didn't like the sound of them. I took the box of pills back to my doctor and told him I wasn't taking them anymore. He was a little annoyed that i refusing treatment, especially because it was the hospital that said I needed them. The community nurse only visited for a couple of weeks after that as well. They could not convince me that I had imagined everything.