Try so hard in this relationship hoping we might be meant
Yet you always hold back and your feelings are bent
Tell you everything that I feel and you just ignore me
Maybe it is just the signs telling me we're not supposed to be
But I don't want to believe it since I love being with you
Though that is hardly ever since you always have something else to do
Waiting for the chance to talk to you all day long
Yet when I get the chance to there is always something wrong
(under construction)
Hoping
Everytime that we're together girl I can't deny
Want it to last forever, never want it to die
I treasure every moment that I spend with you;
Can't picture my life without you here
I'm never really happy 'til you are near
There's nothing more I can say or do;
I want to be with you everday and night
Don't ever want to let you out of my sight
I would be nothing if you weren't with me
Every second were apart is an eternity
Wild and crazy in everything that you do
That's why I could never get bored with you
(Under Construction)
Final Outcry
Asked for the pain I feel so why does it hurt so bad
Wanted to tell you that I knew about your other man
But the time slipped away and you were gone before I could
Too much talk of everything in our lives and that made me doubt if I should
I am so happy with you and the time that we spend
And finding out about him didn't cause my feelings to end
Though I don't know where the two of you are at this point
The pressure of having to compete and try not to disapoint
Scared of what might happen if I fall behind in this race
Though it is hard to challenge when I don't know his pace
I just want to know when you close your eyes whose face do you see
I know it may be confusing and you might see neither him nor me
I am sorry for this and I hope it doens't mess up my chance
And if it does I hope you will at least grant me one last glance
At your face and a last taste of your lips from the final kiss good bye
Though I pray that doens't happen since I don't want our relationship to die
That would be the worst thing in my life if it were to go down that way
But it is all up to you, not me, if you want me to go or stay.
Final Thoughts
You never understood me and how I cared for you so much
Sitting hoping for some time to see you just for one single touch
Yet I guess it was way too much to ask
You never seemed to have given me a chance
Though you say you did though I don't believe it cause your feelings weren't that way
I tried to be understanding and caring yet when you were with me you never wanted to stay
You were always gone somewhere never to be home
I was sitting there mopping leaving messages on your phone
For a brief stint you seemed to care but it came and went fast
Then back to your routine which on your agenda I was last
You said you liked me well I liked you more than you will know
Since you went away and left me alone before my feelings could show
But your used to that since you were a puzzle I could never piece together
I tried hard but as LP said in the end it doens't even matter
The journey was good I can't complain it was a new experience in life
I was happy with you yet you got bored of me leading to my plight
Words I hear of you still wanting to be with me, playing with my mind
Though it is hope and I am wishing cause I still want you to be mine
Though the chance of that is slom to none
Since to you I am not the only one.
Valentines
Sitting here hoping something comes to mind
Have to try to make things special can't be stupid about everything for the first time
What a torturous feeling, that of something new
Having to plan out so many things that we can do
Memories past of girls that never bothered to care
Yet I know not your feelings and to do nothing I will not dare
Got to be unique though I need help to find the way
Such a fuss over something as simple as a day
Yet day of days this is to lovers hearts as history stats
Day of happiness and forgivness for lovers mistakes.
See now this day marks the end of this shit for me
Finally realizing there's no point for me to proceed
You strange trippin always acting bizarre
Didn't think it would be wise to move on after going this far
But I can't take it, way too complex to comprehend
Don't know what your trying to pull but it's too late in the end
Cause it's over now, all feelings that remained for you lost
Thinking you can do so much shit to me must have your fools crossed
I ain't no sucka, especially not for you
Thought you could get away with all the shit you do
If that guy from Victorville was around for all the times you trip
He would be gone and completely flip the script
Now I was patient for so long and I don't know why
Everything I went through makes me wonder why try
Saying you weren't over me but why even lie
You know you only thought of me as another guy
SO don't come talk to me, feed your bull shit to someone else
Since you don't care about others, your only out for yourself
Hell can't lie I'm after mine too
Last thing I need is to get into a contest with you
You would probably win with your big ass and tits
Still the furthest moment is Nick licking your clit
Yeah I said it so you gonna get mad now
Go complain to the diek you always hang around
Yeah that's Courtney I'm talking about who else could it be
Always with you probably wipes your pussy after you pee
Christine's Breakdown
Listening to sad songs
Wishing I was taking hits off the bong
Trying to forget everything that's wrong
Wondering how it is taking so long
To get you back with me
You know it's meant to be
I know you were happy when we
Wer macking in the backseat
Or I was laying you down on the beach
On Courtney's floor
You know you were wanting more
In your spa on New Year Eve
You had that feeling creeping coming out to seek
The End JAM
Nothing but sleepless night since we came to an end
The biggest mistake I have ever made, no need to pretend
I am trying to say that life goes on without you
But everything I am feeling lets me know it isn't true
I need you to make my world turn once again
You will all ways be more than just my friend
We are made for each other, the perfect pair
The future is something that we should share
I hate myself everyday knowing that I hurt my love
My whole life turned upside down with that shove
Take what you will my heart and soul left with that goodbye
Leaving me to feel an emptiness that never seems to die
Hoping for a future where we might be once more
Though I shouldn't have as many chances as before
I love you now and for all ways and it will all ways grow
Until the day my final candle I do blow
Waiting for the day where time can heal and we can be
So I can once again be undeniably happy
JAM End
Less than a month is all it took you to get over me
After almost two years I couldn't imagine this could be
I still love you but I know you feel differently
Maybe now you found a man that can make you happy
But I have to tell you there is no way we can be friends
So with all the grief in my heart I am calling for the end
The end of my happiness and hopes of being with you
How long were you going to keep playing me like a fool?
I am in misery thinking about never being with you again
A pain so great it is hard for me to comprehend
Never thought that it would all end up this way
But what is done can't be undone, nothing left to say
Now realizing I have run out of time, I must take back my heart
You don't want it anyways so from it you must depart.
When It Began
It started when we were friends
Who would have thought what would begin
But we fell apart after a while and you were out of sight
Then you came back and everything was again so bright
Inseperable from that day, I just couldn't believe
That my dream girl from high school was actually with me
Things got a little rocky and I admit I was to blame
Still after a few days it was back to the same
Everyday and every night you were by my side
From you I refused to ever be deprived
Ans the feelings are still true to this very day
For you I wish that there was more I could say
Then just I love you because I feel stronger than that
I never feel those words do justice to all our past
You are the girl I want to be with and there is no doubt
Well maybe if Angelina wanted me there would be a bout
Revamp
Wishing to feel a flame for a girl once more
But after all I've been through my heart is so sore
Told myself never again or at least not for a long time
Trying to get a grip and take care of what is mine
Getting back on my feet now after my long fall
Keeping my bills in check, love not hearing creditors call
Yet at times I feel so lonely the times that I'm alone
Causing me to drink the night away with a bottle of patron
Appreciate friends and family for being there in my time of need
Still with all their love my heart still continues to bleed
As it bleeds out it spreads numbness through all my emotion
Can't feel love, hate, or sadness unless I'm heavily under the potion
Starting to feel alive once more but it has been a long road
Though it feels that I've only dropped a few stones from my load
Trying to think of the event that fell me to the mindset I have
Can think of so many times where I felt hurt but couldn't get mad
Is it that I'm bottling them all up inside until the day I burst
Or perhaps just the way I was raised finally boiling into my curse
All ways told to play the game and never let a girl get you down
If this ever happened then my family would all ways clown
So after the last girl that i let play me for a fool
I swore on that day I would never again be anyones tool
Now it is all a game with all the girls that I see now
Loading up on girls and I know how bad that may sound
Got a little conceited didn't know I could pull girls like this
Spelling out all my thoughts now makes me want to change my wish.
Flow Bound
I'm just a little bit faded
Catchin myself feeling jaded
Kinda feel out of place and
I just can't explain it
I know the ups come with the downs
But I'm caught going around and around
Trying to be a little bolder now
Yet everytime I jump off the deep end I drown
Gotta play it cool no girl goes for the sucker
Can't stay afloat though I keep going under
Got so much I got to get off my chest though
And I got to kick out of my mind all of these dumb hos
They ain't doing nothing but bringing me down so
I gotta let them go and at least replace them with four more
Don't want to stress but I can't heed my own warning
Throw all my rules out the window whenever I get horny
Can't say I hate it or even that I'm sorry
Cause I love having these bitches on me
And even though half these girls couldn't fuck a gay man
It's cute to see them try to prove that they can
Though they couldn't get me off even if they looked like Jolie
I love the feeling of getting the teach a lil game to mami
So when I send her on I have to call another
One that is profile and can fuck me like no other
Not that she looks like a pornstars clone
But when she's on that dick she works it like a cyclone
I know for sure I have to leave girly alone
Still it's hard to say when she's got me in the zone
Her game ain't sick enough to be my only one
She is down with only admitting were just having fun
When it comes to girls I refuse to ever settle
Cause I'm into the physical and not the mental.
