Now who can understand the pain in my mind?
Watching the girl that I love walking by with another guy
Smiling and laughing while my heart sinks
And holding hands which makes my eyes begin to weep
I remember the the times when he wasn't in the picture
I never could get the guts to say I want to get with ya
And now I regret it cause there will never be
A happy couple named you and me
If I could turn back the hands of time
I would make it so you will always be mine
And even though I should be happy for you my friend
My greediness inside makes it come to an end
I love you so, but you will never know, because I can't admit it
I'm living a lie, it's in my eyes, but you just can't see it
Truth be told, your my heart and soul, and it's hurting just to say this
Since your his, and not mine, and he's getting all your kisses
I try hard to be strong
And try to move on
But there's not a day that goes by
Where I don't wish you were mine
So you want to know if my feelings are true
If I mean it when I say that I love you
Now how can this be?
That you still don't trust me
Everything that I tell you is straight from the heart
So why are you trying to tear our relationship apart
Your accusations are deceitful and unfair
I mean you swear that I am having an affair
But I will never do that because you are all I need
And I state this to you as my creed
If anything would make you go
I would lose my heart and soul
I still can't believe you think I'm untrue
Now what am I going to do
How can I show you that I don't lie?
It's impossible to do at this age in life
For you are too paranoid to believe any sense
Even when I tell you that we are meant
You still wont believe it and you start to hate
But I have to tell you I'm getting tired of this wait
These little games have gone on far too long
And if they don't stop then guess what I'm gone
Cause I'm not a kid so I can't play
So you better find something better to say
Then accusing me of cheating which you know I'll never do
That's why I still can't figure out what is wrong with you
And I am tired of trying to figure out
Why your mind is so clouded with doubt
I guess if it were meant to be
You would have never doubted me
So I guess it's over because I am tired of trying
And of you accusing me of lying.
Loneliness when you went away
There is nothing that I could say
To make you want to stay
To bring you back to me
Oh I wish that you could see
That here is where you want to be
I don't care about nothing else but you
Without you in my life I don't know what to do
Didn't think this would happen thought you would always be true
All I ever wanted was to be your man
To walk with you hand in hand
Do the best for you that I can
But now I will never be the same again
You changed my life from the way I was back then
Grew up to be true to one person and that was you
But you messed with my emotions and after you broke me you were through
Love has no place in my heart anymore for to me it is dead
Now it is all about how many different girls I can get in my bed.
Soul S
Oh there's an empty place in my soul
A longing for something unknown
Thinking that you could fill this void
This emptiness that has grown inside
Though there hasn't been a cure found yet
With all the other girls that have visited my bed
But there is something different about you
I feel a sense of something new
Yet I find myself saying that a lot
Still you were the first that couldn't be bought
I found myself trying to be with you
Something that I never had to do
The challenge for you is really great
I need to conquer it before it's too late
Still once it's done will I get bored of this
Would want a girl that's always exciting if I had one wish
Breakdown Session
Sitting so close to you, wanting you, needing you
Seeing your face so beautiful, precious, what can I do
Hardly know your name and have never even talked to you,
Yet still for some reason I feel deeply for you.
You and I would be a perfect match, how's the sound of that,
You would be the greatest catch, never going to get thrown back.
Wonder if you even notice me,
Wish you would think of me,
Don't want to just let this be.
Have to try to work things out,
But my mind is full of doubt,
Making me want to shout.
Back when I never confessed a feeling
Saying to myself that you wouldn't be willing.
Wonder how you act outside of class
Are you as innocent as you seem or do you every guy the ass.
Now I don't think you do since I respect you too much to say,
That you would ever do that or act that way.
Your voice echoes harmony in my brain,
Just wishing there were a way,
That I can make you feel the same.
I see the people you talk to,
They're the cool ones at the school.
And there is no way I can make you drop your standards,
To take a chance on this lowly bastard.
As you can see my feelings are hampered,
With discouragement for myself since I lack the wealth
To keep you happy though you might be able to do that yourself
Sorry if you catch me in a stare,
But to be caught looking at you I don't care,
Cause any other would be drawn to your glare.
I want to know everything about you, everything and anything the same
Want to know if your the biggest player in the game
And last but not least one more question okay
Before I let you go I got to ask what's your name.
What the hell is going through my head
Nothing but a girl back to being sprung again
Thought it wouldn't happen to me so fast
Then introduced head over heels at a glance
See now I am tyring so hard to make it work
More than any other girl cause that's what she's worth
All I want to do is see her face
Lock eyes kiss lips transported to a heavenly place
Don't know her feelings hoping they're all good
Gonna do my best and treat her just like I should
Cause she's gotten the best of me
Still trippin on how I went from the minor to major league
Now I am sitting here thinking of her
So addicted don't think there can be a cure
So I end this on a note of mystery ahead
Hoping that this thing will never end.
First off fuck you and the bitch you want to claim
If it were me I would be hitting that pussy within a day
Yet for suckas to get sprung
Off shit that they didn't cum...
In is foolish and stupid
Wishing the girl to get hit by cupid
But what can I say
Miracles dont happen in a day
And for so long
To go on
With no hope only mind games left
Causing your heart to break in your chest
Funny to see you try to say fuck it
But your attempts to get over it are pathetic
See now what you need to do
Is forget about these young bitches in school
Go for someone that actually has a brain
So then you aren't treated the same
As you are right now
You should have went to Cacoon to get down
Since it sounds to me like you need to get laid
So you can finally get your mind off getting played
Now if anyone is reading this and thinking it is about you
Don't trip it ain't I am just bored and this sounded like fun to do
In other words this thing here is a story of fiction
Not me trying to do any dissin'
Cousin
A heartbroken way is how I started my day
Hearing you were gone from this earth you had went away
Sadness filling me heart this holidays off track
No prayers of thanks just wishes for you to come back
Memories of you is how we filled the night
Pouring out a little liquor eyes teared up blurring our sight
I know you are now at rest and having better days
Away from all the heat and the gangsta ways
It's a shame it took that to finally find peace
Cause your loved ones have missed you since your heart did cease
For the first time in years the family was one to mourn it's loss
Can't believe that a family reunion had to have such a great cost
Now that your gone everyone wishes things could have been different
But we all know that this was the way it was meant
So rest in peace cousin with all our love we say good bye
We will miss everyday until we are reunited in the sky.
Frustration
Life is hard and I'm making all the wrong choices
Feel like I'm going insane hearing everyone's voices
Lecturing me about all the times I ruin everything
Can I actually be that pathetic of a being
I try my hardest to make everyone else happy
Even if I have to do something that hurts me
It is still done but the masses aren't satisfied
So from happiness I am all ways deprieved
This routine has to change, it is getting so old
And after so much hurt my heart is becoming so cold
Perhaps I was never meant to fit in with the ones I care about
Maybe I am crazy for going the thought any doubt
Someday is has to get better doesn't it?
Hopefully so cause I can't keep putting up with this shit
For now I shall grit my teeth and push forward
As a brighter future is what I am making my way toward.
Confessions
I'm so sorry for all the times I hurt you
But I want to make it right cause to you I want to stay true
I know I have to confess all the things I did wrong
I have kept them hidden inside of me for so long
Like the things that happened with my ex and I
And how it actually went on for quite some time
Then there were the millions of girls I called friends
If at any time it could have been more it would have been our end
Then there was the girl I hooked up with the second time we fell apart
I know it is terrible but I was leading he on from the start
So then that time we broke up I had someone to fall on
Yet that time we weren't apart for very long
Still I did things with her that, at the time, I felt so bad about
Maybe that is why I all ways held for you so much doubt
Could it have been my guilty concious all this time that plagued me
I will never know and now that we are so far apart I may never see
So here are my confessions, straight out of my heart
Hopefully this will allow me a new life to start.
Conclusion
Girl I know you loved me then but we are in the now
Don't think after after so long any feelings for me can be found
I know that we both made many mistakes
That threw us from what I was sure was fate
Now there is no chance I can be your man once again
It took me so long to finally stop trying to pretend
Your song no longer goes with the beat of my heart
Though forever you know you will all ways have a part
A place, a piece, a spare to unlock the chains that surround
My heart that were placed there once you stopped coming around
Not saying I'm waiting for you, I have a couple girls that are down
Just saying I'm not opening my heart as fast as I did when I moved back to town
So for the time being I shall just play the game
And I all ready know you are gonna do the same.
The Two of You
I knew what was going on the whole time
Why try to play games with my mind?
Acting like I was delusional
When in fact I knew it all
Don't be scared I am not mad
Or even the tiniest bit sad
I am happy that you are happy
With a guy that isn't me
Always said he was a winner
All those nights over dinner
You got a good guy live long and prosper
Don't ever let a good thing like that whither
I am just sad you think I can't hang out with you two
You were my girl and he is a friend what do you think I would do?
Start a fight come on that is a little ridiculous isn't it
There is no anger in me not even a bit
Just hopes that we can all be friends again someday
But I guess it is up to you two if you want to go that way
Just know you two have a friend down for anything
And I am not affected by your little fling
Serious as anything I can ever tell someone
I am glad that you two found that special one
He will make you happy and I know you will do the same
And I know in your relationship there will be no little game
Take care my friends even if I never see you again
I will still consider you friends until the end.
ShH
Now I am the guy on the side
It is with your man with which you reside
We have had this secret with us a while
Needing one another to bring back our smile
Hypocritical as all ways so no surprise
Felling that my life is covereed in lies
Blind to all the things my heart desires
Standing by as my soul tires
Weakening under the pressure of my sin
Yet still continue my course against the wind
I have feelings for you this I can't refuse
And it would hurt if your friendship I were to lose
Eerie how we were linked before we met in your store
My ex and your man were together a while before
I got tooosed off of my old route to end up at that staters
You also knew my best friend but I didn't know that til later
You have all ways been so sweet to me I really appreciate you
Through the hardest parts you would do all you can do
You paid back all of the smiles I put on your face
When i'm around your sadness has no trace
You say wait until you move to see what we can create
Who knows if this is all a mistake or could this be faith
Only time can tell, I'm blind to my destiny
Maybe it is impossible for us to ever be
Life is full of trials we need to at least test the water
Sink or swim at least we would know if we should foster
So there it is stuck behind ther hands of the clock
Waiting for it to proceed before I know which path to walk.
Guilty Death Bed
When your living for yesterday nothing will ever change
Life will pass you by as days you can no longer range
Though it may hurt to move on it's all ways the best to do
Cause living a life like that you aren't hurting just you
You're hurting everyone around that cares deeply and true
And blocking every attempt to get you out of this mood
The tragedy was painful yet life still continues on
It will be easier once you except that they are really gone
You can't keep blaming yourself for what you have done
It is the way it was meant to be so stop trying to run
Stop thinking of all the things you would have doen differently
While drinking another bottle of Jack Daniel's Whiskey
You know they are happy now, you all ways said they derserved better
Why is it so hard for you to just come to terms, finally surrender?
You will all ways have the memories, stop trying to drink them away
Going at this rate and you will end up in an early grave
That won't make things better, you would just hurt so many more
Nothing like that is ever worth dying for
Whiskey lullabies are only sung for those with a weak soul
Is that how you want to be remembered when to the other life you go?