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March 9, 2004 -The following is an excerpt from the March,2006 issue of The American Journal of Pop Psychology. As Oprah Goes, So Goes the NationTo live in America in March of 2006 is to live in a country which has radically changed in just one year's time. The crime rate is rising shockingly, common courtesy at home and at work are at an all time low, and - most tellingly - the divorce rate has increased more than ten fold since March of 2005. What could possibly account for this sea change in American social behavior? We at The American Journal of Pop Psychology have in a series of informal and non-controlled studies have a one word answer: Oprah. O: The Oprah Magazine as a Bellwether of Our Times A multi-tiered, anecdotal analysis of O: The Oprah Magazine reveals a strong correlation between the magazine cover articles and content and the state of the national collective female psyche. The magazine which has enjoyed incredible best selling popularity for six years across all demographics of American females had in the past traditionally held to a steady upbeat editorial policy. For year after year, the cover of each issue touted articles about how to lose weight, how to put up with an unbearable spouse, an how to feel good about yourself. The relentless self-esteem boosterism seemed laughable to many critics of the cult of Oprah and seemed like a bland, benign sop to bored housewives to most others. However, it was only in March of 2005 when Oprah's personal life began to change at first subtly then radically that the magazine and then its readers began to change and react in tandem as well. Oprah In Love The Spring of 2005 was a giddy time for Oprah Winfrey. At age fifty, she had finally found her true love, and she proclaimed it effusively both on her daily show and in the pages of her magazine. In April of 2005, Oprah first met then dated Freeman Jordanson. A billionaire real estate mogul and the first African-American to own an NFL team, Jordanson met Winfrey at a charity ball presented by his football team, the Chicago Bears. Over th e course of just a few weeks, the media relentlessly reported the breathless romance of the Windy City's two most affluent singles. The couple were seen everywhere together: hand in hand walking along Lake Michigan, scarfing down massive deep dish pies at Pizzeria Due, or enjoying a laugh backstage at close friend Doctor Phil's charity celebrity dwarf bowling tournament. O: The Magazine joyfully mirrored its titular heroine's romance. In April, it was "O: The True Love Issue" featuring articles with titles like "He Loves Me for Who I Am," "Love is Fantastic," and "Eat Whatever You Want, You're in Love!" All over America, love was in the air. BY May, Jordanson had proposed to Oprah, and a lavish five million dollar wedding was planned. June brought with it and the marriage the first ever "O: The Wedding Issue" resplendent with a cover photo of the zaftig figure head in a glamorous plus-sized Eugenio DiVitarro wedding dress. Filings for marriage certificates skyrocketed as women across the country embraced a new philosophy of true love and matrimony. From dewy-eyed co-eds to grim, resentful thirty-somethings, to bitter, frequently divorced housewives, America's womanhood leapt forward with Oprah into marital bliss. The June Issue featured articles including "Forever: The True Love That Never Dies," "Marry That Man of Your Dreams," and "Take the Leap of Love! Single No More." In July, newsstands across the country were plastered with copies of "O: The Honeymoon Issue" with a racy cover photo of Oprah on a private Mediterranean island stripped to the waist with husband Freeman Jordanson behind her cupping her massive breast in his hands. Articles covered steamy topics like "Love Your Days Away: Oprah's 101 Sexy Secrets," "Caught from Behind: One Woman's Passionate Tale," and "Viagra, Levitra, Cialis: The Holy Trinity of Feel Good Meds." Subsequently sales of erectile dysfunction drugs soared, rallying a flagging and flaccid Dow Jones Index to new highs, firming up the markets, and stimulating a sagging economy. A flurry of sexual activity roared across America in a new Summer of Love, and at last sociologists and psychologists began to see the clear link between Oprah and the moods of mainstream American female culture. Pundits were amused by this wave of feel good romance sparked by Oprah and her media empire. However, all of these observers were blissfully unaware of the dark side of this phenomenon that was soon to follow. The Dark Side of Oprah All was well in Oprah's world and the United States at large in the contented, warm, and fuzzy Summer of 2005. O: The Oprah Magazine featured in rapid succession "O: The Happy Marriage Issue," "O: The Love Your Man Issue," and "O: The Goodbye Diet, Hello Love Issue." However, it was with an incredible resonating blast which shook America that in October, 2005 Oprah learned of Freeman Jordanson's top secret ongoing affair with one of Hollywood's hottest and thinnest actresses. American housewives were shocked in November of 2005 to go to their mail boxes and open the "O: The Halle Berry is a Dirty Slut Issue." It was not difficult to read between the lines of the articles to see Oprah was in pain as her marriage suffered both in private and in public. Articles like "Skinny Women Are All Bitches," "Men: Pathetic Dogs in Heat," and "Death Threats: A Wife's Secret Guilty Pleasure" shocked Oprah's loyal readers and fans. As Jordanson was confronted with graphic photos of his indiscretions with Halle Berry published on the cover of the December issue - "O: The Infidelity Issue" - it was clear that the superstar marriage was on the rocks. Featured articles like "All Men Are Liars," "Zip It Up or I'll Cut It Off," and "Tower of Rage: In Depth With Hillary Rodham Clinton" set the tone for a long, cruel winter. All across the nation wives turned on their husbands as fear, distrust, and bitter recriminations spread like and epidemic through the suburbs and inner cities. Sadly, worse was yet to come as January brought "O: The Divorce Issue." As Winfrey, bitterly and publicly divorced Freeman Jordanson in a series of televised hearings, America danced to the now dramatically overweight talk show diva's angry tune. A critical shortage of divorce lawyers swept the nation forcing law schools to double their output of crass, vicious mouthpieces. Courts reported up to a three year backlog of divorce cases as all over America women took to heart Oprah's advice from articles grew ever more direct and vicious. "Dump Him," "Destroy Your Filthy, Lying Husband," and a twelve page high fashion spread glorifying Oprah's new folk heroine and role model Loreena Bobbitt all left a dark ugly bruise on the face of the state of marital relations in the United States. What's Next For Oprah? And now here we are in March, 2006, and this month's issue of O: The Oprah Magazine has struck an even darker tone. "O: The Revenge Issue" has been out for only two weeks and already across the nation there has been a major new crime wave of female-on-male violence. Hit and run killings, drive-by shootings, and shocking acts of vandalism are commonplace as all over America sports bars, golf courses, strip joints and other places where men traditionally gather have been firebombed and gutted. As Oprah fills her magazine and shows with stories of revenge, physical violence, and helpful tips about horrible socially unacceptable topics such as "How to Knee-Cap a Man," the government has finally begun to take notice. In several heartland states, attempts have been made to ban the distribution of O: The Oprah Magazine. These attempts have failed dramatically as thousands of enraged Oprah fanatics have stormed city halls and state legislatures across the Midwest when their leader and her magazine have been threatened. As politicians moan impotently, psychologists and behavioral experts wait for the next shock wave. In the Red States, fundamentalists and the Religious Right quake in fear that Oprah - sickened by the brutal infidelities of men - may turn lesbian and sweep a nation of susceptible weak minded women along with her. In the Blue States, there is a deep seated fear that Oprah may take solace in religion and become a hard core born again Christian and trigger a wave of neo-conservatism that could sweep New York, New Jersey, Long island and other Liberal strongholds into the Red column during the next congressional election. Here at The American Journal of Pop Psychology we hope for the best and speculate that Oprah like so many others may be riding a sine wave of emotion and personal crisis. Our last and best hope is that she returns to her roots with a new found emphasis personally and in her magazine on her bedrock fundamental interests in weight loss, shopping skills, and self-esteem boosterism. The alternative, perhaps an April or May "O: The Arm Yourselves and Your Friends Issue," is too chilling to contemplate. Other Oprah pages you might enjoy: |
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