Hey there, Hi there, Ho there! (*Looking around frantically* Where's the Ho's?) Sorry, 'bout lost my composure there. Speaking of losing composure, there I was yesterday, sitting in the "executive washroom" (shitter) at work when some dumbass hits the fire alarm. So, not knowing if it was real or just a drill and not wanting to be famous like Elvis (dead guy on a shitter), I did my best to break it off and make my way to the exit. As soon as I reached the exit, they call the all clear overhead. I'm holding my butt cheeks together because I wasn't done yet. I make my way back to the bathroom (there is no bath in there, go figure) and begin to re-commence my business. I no more than "dropped a couple kids off at the pool" when the damn alarm sounded off again! This time I was gonna ignore it when they announced "Code Red Basement Bathroom". You guessed it! Right where I was sitting! Soon, there would be three or four people coming in to "secure the area". It smelled awful in there and they would all know it was me unless I high-tailed it out of there. I buckled up and scooted out into the hallway where one of my buddies in Engineering (the guy who runs the drills) was laughing his ass off. Needless to say, he is in line for a butt-whoopin'.
Hey you old guys! Ever been to the doctor for your check-up and he wants to do a rectal exam? I had my first 'anal invasion" today. Since I've never had one, I wasn't sure what to expect. When the doctor asked me if I minded a rectal exam, I asked him only if he would respect me in the morning. He got a small kick out of that and told me to drop my drawers and climb up onto the table. Well, I was expecting to have to lean over the table, but I guess he knows what he is doing. So I get bare-arse naked (yeah, I know, great picture) up on the table on my hands and knees, bare arse sticking high in the air. He knocks and comes in the room and starts to chuckle. I'm thinking, "What the hell is so funny? I don't have any prison tattoos on my butt or anything". He says, "You just have to lay on the table on your side". Gee was I embarASSed! After all was said and done, it wasn't the most terrible thing I've ever went through. Although, I doubt I'll be running out on the town to pay someone to stick their finger up my bung hole any time in the near future.
As a parting gift, let me tell you that at a truck stop here, I saw a girl with a dirty 80's T-Shirt that said "If you like my mountains, you'll LOVE my bush". I think Angie had a shirt like that. I wonder if it was the same one......
Until next time!
--Bobbert
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