Happy Halloween!
Here is one of the scariest things this year-- Bobby with a column!! Let me start out by saying that if anyone has any subject or idea they wish to have me cover, just use the form below to send it to me. The truth is usually funnier than fiction, so I will try to be as truthful as possible with my outlooks and observations.
Have you ever wondered how food goes through your system? As the nurses in the family can attest, it should take a day (or at least many hours) for your body to process and break down everything into poop. You eat chicken, turns into poop. You eat an apple, turns into poop. Even if you ate poop (Yucchhh!), I bet it would stay as poop. But, when you eat corn...it stays as corn! And no matter HOW much you chew it and chew it, it has been put back together by the time it comes back out! I'm surprised that when you eat corn chips that there aren't full pieces of corn coming out.
Have you ever been at work at a meeting or someplace public and have to fart? I felt one coming on big time at a meeting at work with a bunch off stuffy old ladies. I figured I would just let it out slowly, so I coughed as I let it out just in case I needed a distraction to cover any sound I might make. At that same time, this lady across the table from me gritted her teeth and I heard a little "pooooh" come from under her. She turned red and said "Excuse me". And everyone just stared at her. I thought, "Wow, she just took the blame for her fart AND my fart and any more I might make!" So, I commenced to let more and more out and they were the SBD variety (Silent But Deadly). They stunk SOOOO bad. Soon, everyone was looking rudely at her and making comments under their breath and mouthing "OMG" to each other. I was trying my best not to laugh as she was getting more and more uncomfortable (uncomfartable??). I know she was thinking that her small "pooooh" couldn't have made that big a smell. That was last week, and people still talk behind her back about the farts. This is a true story and you should have been there to see the tears come to my eyes as I tried not to laugh...
Well, it is time to go. I will try to have a new column tomorrow!
--Bobbert