In brief . . .

New college Apathy Awareness Officer just stood for better room: doesn't give a s**t

BALDies: "there's more to us than drinking and nudity"

Fresher who hasn't read college, JCR or faculty handbook complains of "lack of information"

Finalist at career presentation doesn't care about future: "I'm just here for the booze"

Lies exposed: "I'm still a virgin" confesses self-proclaimed 'man-whore'

"The concept of an in-crowd or clique is ridiculous" says popular rugby-playing bar committee member

Skywalker lookalike's "hilarious" light sabre innuendo gets a bit old at winter solstice

Administrative error; Pink Army called up to Gulf

Student finds gateway to Narnia in Coombe Lodge library

Mysterious spate of student disappearances; meanwhile, curry for dinner again