Too much fun ...

This is a list I dredged up from another site and 'stole' to put on mine. Please share and enjoy. *n.n*

You know you're in the World Of Darkness . . .

- when a Catholic Priest starts his sermon with the words: "Bow your FUCKING HEAD!!! Let us pray."
- when every other car that turns the corner is a new sports car with some bad-ass behind the wheel.
- when that same bad-ass rams that new sports car into the side of a building because he botched his damn drive roll.
- when lightning does occasionally strike on a clear night.
- when a city block is destroyed because a 'gas main' blew.
- when that same city block is completely repaired the next week.
- when you're the only one in a club because every other person has Obfuscate and is using it and you don�t have it.
- when every person you meet on the street is a Mage, Werewolf, or Vampire pretending to be human.
- and they're doing it badly.
- or not at all.
- when people just fall out of the sky and land next to you . . . (Like Malkavians that thought they could fly so they jumped from a plane at 20,000 ft)
- if you've heard "Ok, I'm going to jump off the roof, and right before I hit the ground, I'm going to EarthMeld" before.
- when there are over thirteen Vampire Clans fighting to secretly control humanity.
- and there are a bunch of mages, casting spells and fighting the technocracy, who also happens to be secretly controlling humanity.
- And shapechangers are fighting the Wyrm-controlled Pentex Corporation who also, coincidentelly, secretly controls humanity.
- AND there are wraiths and the Fae running around, if not trying to control humanity, then at least interfering with it.
- AND there are numerous other wackos, religious cults, Hunters, Mummies, and terrorist organisations, all trying to kill something.
- AND (this is the kicker), despite all of this, humanity, in general, does not have a fucking clue as to what is happening right under their noses.
- when the mortal Goths out number the rest of the population 2 to 1.
- when the first thought of the word Prince does not make you think of the son of a king.
- when a witness says "It looked like some big guy in a wolf costume" to the cop asking questions.
- and the cops cram the report in that huge file cabinet in the back labeled 'wolf costume sightings.'
- when the Cops are always 2 minute late in getting to the scene of the crime, and the culprit has long since left.
- but we don't know why because who's ever seen a Dunkin Donuts or a Krispy Kreme in the World Of Darkness, anyway?
- instead, the hangout for punks and cops and all alike is the nearby 24 hour 7 Eleven.
- when demand for blue slurpees are at an all time high.
- when the magic show in Las Vegas is real, and no one but the magician and his ghouls know it.
- when Stephen King and other Horror Fiction authors have got nothing on everyday life.
- when New York is safe, especially in the streets around Central Park.
- when you can blame any computer problem on Nos Hackers, instead of your own screw up.
- when the no resource revolutionaries with no fixed address have cell phones and email.
- when Night Court handles things like traffic tickets.
- when you realize even the podunk towns have stores that are open until 10:00 pm.
- and at least one of them is a gun and ammunition store.
- and it even carries heavy artillery and has a no waiting time policy.
- when the liquor board never checks up on complaints about funny tasting red "wine."
- when the Dept. of Public Health issues concerned statements about mass anemia among the poor and downtrodden.
- when you wake up in a small dark room and . . . you're dead.
- when you can always find a gun shop open 24/7.
- when you see a man piss on the ground and sidestep reality.
- when every club is open till sunrise.
- when you see a man running down the street, trip, and stake himself on a toothpick.
- when you see a man take two full UZI clips into the chest, two grenades in the back, a sword threw his side, and a knife in the head, he laughs and says, "Hey, that kinda itches a little ... "
- when the moon is full more than usual ... that is, every time you can actually see it through all the roiling, thundering stormclouds.
- when nobody seems to be able to figure out that the bloody Tremere headquarters is located in the 100+ floor skyscraper made out of black marble and covered with gargoyles, all of whom seem to change position every time you look back at them after glancing away.
- when vampires look more alive than normal people because they actually try to look like normal people, while the normal people are too busy to notice because they're trying to look like vampires.
- when nobody thought The Crow movie had a dark and brooding atmosphere or a gothic feel to it. "It was very realistic," people said as they wandered out of the theater.
- when conversations don't begin with 'How was your day?' but 'And how many people did you kill today?'
- when the leading cause of death in the world is exsanguination.
- when half the dead people you know still drop by for a visit every once in a while.
- when there are no human-owned companies. Oh, wait. That's the real world.
- when repressed memories are the most common psychological problems, due to the veil, delirium, dominate 3, etc.
- when Fox Mulder is the head of the FBI.
- when everyone you know has app 5 or 6 but you.
- when your son feels its neccesary to "battle the Wyrm" every night.
- when half the population disappears during the day.
- when the government invests in E.T.-detecting glasses and uses them on senators.
- when the congress investigates the president only for the purpose of finding where THEY can find good hookers for a reasonable price.
- when you're a serial killer and your victim ate you.
- when you try to take candy from a baby and get shot.
- when you swear you smell a rotting corpse but it's only the local panhandler.
- when every black leather coat is sold out.
- when vampires in Denmark have trouble with "Midnight Sun."
- when every episode of the Twilight Zone is a lame documentary film.
- when the butler looks an awful lot like the leather nut from Pulp Fiction.
- when every potentially instructive topic is presented as a "dark and mysterious secret.�
- when your writing does not compensate for your absolute lack of knowledge in geography and demographics.
- when you can go on to say: "Hey! It is my idea! I know where I want to go with this!" and people pay you for it.
- when shining wealth and third world poverty crowd together in a single city.
- where corporations buy and sell lives like POGs.
- where psychotic militant groups and fringe religious cults throw hatred and violence at people who don't deserve it. Oh, wait ...
- when personal success is proportional to the amount of people you step on.
- when you regularly hear sirens off in the distance every five minutes.
- when you can learn a lot about life by just talking to a prostitute.
- when the weather forecast goes along these lines - "Cloudy. Chance of rain. Pretty much the same for the rest of the week. In fact, the rest of the year. Aw, hell. What do you need me for? Why do I even go on living!? Screw this! Goodbye, cruel world!!!" and then the weatherman commits suicide.
- when walking to and from work is an exercise in hoping you get there safely.
- when the tabloids are more believable than regular newspapers.
- when there are several really cool nightclubs where cool goths hang out.
- when you at least once woke somewhere not knowing how you got there. You feel slightly drained and you neck hurts ...
- when the head of the art gallery keeps calling you "mortal".
- when the obituaries take up more room in the paper than the stock reports.
- when your town has the following: cemetary, occult shop, gothic looking art museum, more cemetaries, gun shops, knife shops, sword shops, cemetaries, and 4 blood banks for a population of 3,500 and falling.
- when everyone on the street has a poorly concealed shotgun underneath their long trenchcoat.
- when pigeons try to crap on stone gargoyles and to their surprise, they immediately get their heads ripped off.
- when every radio station plays nothing but Switchblade Symphony, Type O Negative, Rosetta Stone, Fields of Nephlim, and Eva O Hallo.
= when every motorcycle is either a Harley, or "That cool one from Crow 2".
= when every suit is accented with lace and ruffles, a sword cane, a cape, and a top hat.
- when you see 40-50 rats running down the street in a tight pack towards the same direction, and it doesn't seem odd to you in the least.
- if you go to see John Carpenter's Vampires, and the whole movie you keep hearing people saying, "What a moron. I can do that ten times better than he ever could!�
- when your grandmother wants you to start dating "some nice human girl."
- when every one of us who has ever read this list is murdered in our sleep for "knowing too much."
- when the only time a city gets any sunshine, it is for the surreal awe and innocence scene just before it gets obliterated by a pissed off Mage with Forces 5/Prime 2.
- when everybody wears a trenchcoat and fedora, with a bulge at the side.
- when kids in Third World Countries are working as fast as they can to dye all the clothes they make black.
- when a body with half the blood gone and no wounds comes rolling into the morgue and nobody is surprised.
- when you stub your toe on the street and a guy in a black cape with an Omega symbol clasp appears out of an alley, holding a gun, muttering something about Returning to the Wheel.
- when Poe, Shelly, Byron, and Lovecraft are put in the non-fiction section at the library.
- when the Pale Biker Thugs run away after you introduce yourself as "David Giovanni."
- when you see an ad in a local tabloid for Dr. Vladamir's scalpel-less cosmetic surgery and his clinic is only open at night.
- when half of the people you interview for the job as the Driver of the Red Cross "Blood Mobile" say they can't work day hours.
- when there are at least a half-dozen abandoned Gothic Cathredrals in the city.
- when everybody in the city has at least once seen a wild dog attack.
- or woken up pale and tired after picking somebody up in a club.
- or had a bad dream about Big Blue People with Hammers after scolding a 6 year old that there are no monsters under the bed or telling her that unicorns aren�t real.