The Letters


Even though your SOMA page is simple, your SOMA solving program is absolutely brilliant, clever, and truly the work of a budding genius.

-Albert Einstein
[email protected]


I find your SOMA-solving program rather impressive and would like to offer you $100 for the rights. If you do not accept, then I will be forced to bankrupt you. No hard feelings; just business. Besides, your program is in the old DOS format which will become obsolete once Windows 2000 is released. Eventually, it will be illegal to write DOS programs under Amendment #28, after I buy out the government.

-Bill Gates
[email protected]


Mr. McFarren:

The fact that you, and American, have compiled a computer program together with Mr. Bundgaard, a Dane, should be an inspiration for every American citizen. We should always think of foreigners as our over-seas brothers, whether we are bombing them or not.

Keep up the good work as a programmer and as an American.

A fellow American,

William Jefferson Clinton
www.whitehouse.com
(oops - wrong address; heh, heh)
www.whitehouse.gov


Court:

I think your program is cool and all, but your web site needs, you know, like a lot of work! I mean, it's so bland and yucky and everything. How did you meet that Bundgaard guy, anyway? I mean, you're from Ohio, and he's like from Denmark, which is, you know, like the capitol of Seattle or something. I mean, it's like REAL REAL REAL far away.

P.S. - Thank you for last night ;-)
...I hope David doesn't find out!

Love,
Claudia Schiffer
httpcolonslashslashuuuuuudotsportsillustrateddotcomslashclaudiaschifferdothtml


I didn't do it! I swear on a stack of Bibles, I didn't do it! Let's play golf.

-O.J. Simpson
[email protected]///&/nicole


We have scanned your web site and must congratulate you on your political correctness. Your page does not refer to God in any way, nor does it tie the Church to the State (which is unconstitutional). Therefore, it complies to our standards.

We did notice, however, that you built a snowman last winter. If you continue this practice, we have no choice but to sue you for displaying a religious icon in your backyard.

- the ACLU chapter of Ohio
[email protected]


YoUr sItE SuCkS! I CaN't wAiT To bAsH It oN My ANTI-SOMA pAgE!
ROTF&LMAO ***IN***YOUR***FACE*** !!!

- Just Surfed On

...Editors note: What exactly does "Rolling On The Floor, Laughing My Aardvark Off" mean anyway? And why does the word "aardvark" pop up in so many web-slang acronyms?



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