And It Goes On and On. . .

The following is the complete word-for-word statements of Michael Langston's attack upon me and my responses. Unlike him, I'm not going to take his coments out of context to try and make me look good. This is all stuff in it's purist form. Green bold statements are his quotes of me from my page, yellow Italics are his responses and attacks, plain white text are my responses to those. This is going to be a long read, so get comfortable. ;)

"Is this guy really serious about this "hate" thing, or is this just another failed attempt at political humor? Does he seriously think that Republicans are an "army of hate," or is it just Dick Armey that he's so steamed up about?"--Michael

It is very obvious humor. The Republicans are really no more of an "Army of hate" than Newt Gingrich lives in a cave, which is a part of the poem he quite interestingly looked over.

"I don't actually know, but I can tell you one thing for certain: As often as these false liberals unfairly sling this accusation of hate in various directions, their definition of hate must be "anything with which we liberals disagree."."--Michael

I'm interestingly called a "false" liberal. Trust me, Michael is no authority on liberalism and has no idea what he's talking about. My personal definition of "hate" for referense would be: A strong resentment or aversion.

"Well, let me take a quick tour of his Web site and see if I can find anything with which I disagree. OK, after taking only one or two steps, I think I have already found something."--Michael

Apparently Michael seems to be writing this while he's travelling through my site. He must really want to hurt my feelings or something with this diatribe against me. It's kind of funny, actually.

"'I say we just let everyone in, who wants to get in....Some of those farthest right actually believe that everyone who doesn't know English in this country shouldn't be allowed to be a citizen. Well, as those in Great Britain who invented the language would say: "Poppicock!" What kind of damn right do people have to force people to talk the way they want?...C'mon, we've got huge empty states out there! (There are less people in Wyoming than in suffolk county Long Island. Alaska is big enough to hold another half the poeple we already have in the whole country now and still have plenty of fresh fish for everyone.)'." --Pulled from my rant Illegal Immagrants are Evil

"Now, is this yet another unsuccessful try at political humor, or (I shudder to think)is it possible that he could actually be serious about this?"--Michael

Some of it's humor meant to make a point and get the reader to think. Something Michael doesn't do too well.

"Can you imagine the kind of country that we'd have if we (1) opened up our borders to totally unrestricted immigration, (2) allowed all these new immigrants to go on speaking any language they wanted and (3) filled up Wyoming and Alaska with half again as many people as are now living in this entire country? I'm absolutely reeling with incredulity!"--Michael

(1) I support an open-door policy which would allow any law-abiding foriegner to enter this country as a legal immigrant. I'm aware this view is not popular, but I don't really care. I believe that it is hypocritical for Americans, almost all of which being descendants of immigrants ourselves, to demand that those like our anscestars be barred.

(2) I support allowing people to speak whatever language they want becuase I believe in the first amendment right to free speech. Apparently Michael does not.

(3) This is an example of Michael's inability to understand obvious humor. Stop reeling Michael, you're making people think you're drunk.

"Please bear with me. As soon as I can regain my composure, I'll take a few more awkward steps through this sinister realm. Be patient now; I can hardly see for all that glaring light of liberal "turth." (Hey, don't blame me; that's how he spells it!)"-- Michael

How dramatic. If a typo really bothers him that much I'd suggest he reads my spelling rant. Now, back to his nail-bitingly dramatic tread through my wicked hellhole of a site.

"As I expected, after taking three or four more steps, I stumble upon something else that I very much disagree with."--Michael

Damn, I was betting on only two steps!

".Okay, so maybe Dickarmey is a bigot, a liar, a hypocrite, The works behind the worst aspect of the "Contract with America" and wants to lighten the tax burden on the rich while making it harder on the poor. He can't be much worse, right? Despite everything I didn't even bother to mention, like his hostile attitude toward the environment... Oh... enough already.'." -- Pulled from my Dickarmey rant.

"Hmm. A bigot calling someone else a bigot? But if a bigot calls someone else a bigot, isn't the second bigot not really a bigot?"--Michael

Michael leaps out of nowhere and accuses me of being a bigot. He's going to have to defend that accusation for it be the least bit credible. He doesn't.

"It's getting too complicated for me, folks."--Michael

No kidding.

"My limited-capacity, dittohead brain just can't assimilate all this lofty liberal rhetoric."--Michael

I had no idea he was a dittohead. Ah well.

"But I do understand the point he's making about Republicans like Armey favoring the rich and making it hard on the poor. (I understand it, but I don't believe it.)"--Michael

Nothing worth debating here.

"And I almost forgot. He thinks Dick Armey is "hostile" toward the environment?"--Michael

As I recall, he is. He and Tom DeLay are well-known for it.

"If you will recall, it was he who suggested that Wyoming and Alaska be filled to the brim with illegal immigrants (well, they would no longer be illegal if his policies were adopted)."--Michael

There goes that inability to understand humor again. But what do you expect from a guy who think "Democ-rat" is a funny pun?

Message directly to Mike: C'mon Mike! I've heard loads of better things than that! Dummy crap. Dumbercrat. De-mock-rat. Demon-crat. Use those twelve brain cells of yours! (Yes, that was an ad hominem attack, Michael. Feel free to go ballistic now.)

"If Wyoming and Alaska are filled up with Mexicans and Haitians, where the hell will we put all the wolves and the bears? Oh, I got it! We'll just ship them all back to inhabited regions of the continental United States, like the wacko environmentalist liberals are already doing."--Michael

We are? Oh, maybe he's trying to outdo my humor. I'll just smile and nod for him.

:-)

"Oops! It looks like I stumbled across something else I disagree with, and this time I didn't have to take but one step! My, my, my! What do we have here?"-- Michael

All this enthusiasm and excitement Michael has over finding material he disagrees with is quite disturbing. As a conservative digging through a liberal site, what does he expect to find? A shrine to Ronald Reagan?

",'When Joycelyn Elders very rationally and reasonably recommended that we teach students what masturbation is in public schools, and that we might consider the legalization of marajuana, the media did not take their time in turning her into some sort of pot- smoking evil whore-goddess that wanted kids to jerk-off and get high on weed in mid-class! What the hell happened here?'." --Pulled from my Conservative Media Bias List of Examples.

"Weed? Hmm. Sounds like marijuana and the sinister one are on a first- name basis. Jerk-off? Yep, you guessed it! A first-name basis here as well. I think I'll quickly get away from this particular area of the Sinistral Web site."--Michael

That's the first smart thing Michael has done so far. Flee from what he fails to understand. And to think he goes nuts whenever he recieves an ad hominem attack. One of his many problems, as I see it, is his inability to take what he dishes out. The man has tracing-paper for skin and a mouth big enough to mistake for an open bowling-ball case.

"I wouldn't want to get--what is it that potheads call it?--high--on all that second-hand pot smoke emanating from the wide open mouth of his mentor, Joycelyn Elders (even though it does have the stamp of approval of this particular ex-Surgeon General)."--Michael

Now this is interesting. I wonder just what it is he has against Elders. I bet they used to date but it didn't last and he's still bitter about the break up. Wise move, Joycelyn.

"Oh my God! What the unholy crap is this? And he thinks my site is an "x- rated" expression!"--Michael

Um... Michael seems to have forgotten what he believes. I never thought his site was in any way x-rated. He named his site "Conservative XXXpressions, a politically X-rated site!" Not me. Now to what he claims to be unholy:

"'A sperm is every bit as much of a life as a concepted egg. It's got chromosomes stacked up in it's little head, it rushes through to meet the egg, each one facing absolutely amazing odds. Why do we ignore these little buggers? All over this country "Sperm- wasters" (Or otherwise known as baby-killers) have been savagely sloughtering their sperm for decades upon decades upon decades now. Nothing has been done to stop this insane killing of human life! Can you believe it?'." --Pulled from my Sperm RTL Rant

Let me explain this rant for a moment. As my site is one meant as a home for satire, I'm careful not to put many serious/unironic material up as far as the most controversial issues go. I save that for seperate debating forums. This rant is an attempt not to make an argument but to appeal to pro-choicers who would agree with my views. Nothing more, nothing less. I do not hide from that fact. His brilliant rebuttal is:

"All I can say to this is that he should stop listening to the hair-brained advice of Joycelyn Elders."--Michael

I mention Elders once on my site and he can't get the woman out of his head. Very odd.

".'Right-wing talk radio doesn't care whether you are a hypocrite on all the issues! It doesn't care whether you are a scum-bag, thinskinned bully. Just take a look at Rush Limbaugh! He's done all those things and more!...You get, totally free of all expenses, a troop of mindless drones at your side, that are willing to agree with whatever you say no matter what! How can anybody resist this? Get involved in Right-wing talk-radio today!...Lord Limbaugh has a great scheme going. He plans to take over the world by hypnotizing the worlds biggest idiots and recruiting them into an army of mindless Right-wing drones.' --Pulled from my Con Radio rant.

"Crass liberal bigotry, if ever I've seen it!"--Michael

Obviously, he's never seen it.

"Congressman Henry Waxman! Calling Congressman Henry Waxman! Sinistral went and did it now! He called Rush Limbaugh a hypocritical "scum-bag" (he can't even spell scumbag correctly!)."--Michael

I had no idea Rush was so close to his heart. But then again, this is a guy who gets pissed if I stick a hyphen in the middle of the word scum-bag. I would reccomend once more that he read my Spelling rant.

"If you, Partisan--I mean Congressman--Waxman, are going to abide by the Liberal Guy criterion of absolute consistency (for everyone on Earth except Liberal Guy himself) and be liberally consistent (kind of like politically correct),"--Michael

That reminds me. I should put up an anti-PC rant some time soon. That's one commonly considered liberal thing I tend to disagree with. Wow, Mike actually did something worthwhile (If you ignore everything else in that quote which is pretty much bonofied mouth-foam).

I better treasure this moment.

"you will need to make sure that you denounce Sinistral's remark as "vile" and "repugnant."."--Michael

I think he's talking to a particular person know. Who the hell knows just who or why, but he is.

"And Sinistral should know better! There are as many left-wing drones out there as there are right-wing drones. If he doesn't believe what I'm saying, he can see one for himself the next time he walks in the bathroom and passes by the mirror."-- Michael

Here's Michael's chance to prove himself worthwhile by telling me how I'm supposed to be a drone instead of just making an empty accusation!

He doesn't.

"(Folks, how does he do it? How does he manage to keep his balance and avoid falling over...toting around that ponderous and weighty asymmetrical left wing?)"--Michael

I guess this is Mike's way of talking to his loving and adoring fans who sit on the edge of their seats waiting for the next Conservative XXXpresion to appear on his page. I'll answer for him anyway in his own BS-like metaphorical fashion. I keep my balence becuase I have a fine balencing stick, it has logic on one side and reason on the other, and they balence very nicely.

"Abortion, being the steaming hot issue that it is, is sometimes prefered to be left out of political debates to avoid too much venom flying around.'." --Pulled from my Debate area under the tips section.

"I venture to say that he will always prefer to leave abortion out of his political debates with me to avoid having his clock cleaned (like I've done more times than he has the capacity to count...two or three)."--Michael

I've debated with him on abortion two or three and simply gave up due to the thickness of his skull. His problem with me is that I won't debate abortion ALL the time. I'm sorry to say that I do not share his one-issue obsession. If he can't understand that, tough.

"Here's one example. In the interest of fairness, I do have to acknowledge that he did express some subsequent reservations regarding "partial birth abortion." Perhaps there is hope that at some point in the future he will come to his senses and rethink his support of this indefensible atrocity."--Michael

What he says in the beginning is true. I am not against legislation prohibiting PB abortions if there is an acception made concearning the safety of the mother's life. Of course, his attempt at a fair gesture is dirtied by his ridiculous "come to his senses" and "indefensible atrocity" crap. Like I said, I tried debating him. If he won't listen, which he hasn't, I'm not going to waste my time.

".'You know you're conservative if...you scream about all that awful filth on television, then go wave a picture of an aborted fetus in front of a school.'." --Pulled from my YKYCI list.

His brilliant response to this was a picture of an aborted fetus. Whatever, Michael.

What follows is a disturbing peek into his state of mind:

"Excuse me a minute, folks, while I make a change of "person" (to the second person of the Dynamic Duo of False Liberalism). Yoo Hoo! Sinistral. Are you at home, Sinistral, or are you still hanging out over at Batman's lounge? Worst "pornography" in existence, isn't it, Sinistral? (I meant pictures of aborted "fetuses," not the contents of the "lounge.") Take a good, long, hard look at it. I'm sure it makes you really cringe to look at what you yourself are responsible for allowing... through your foolish support of the "right" of abortion."--Michael

Mike attempts to play a character (Namely another liberal he has a grudge against, Liberal Guy). His performance is done very badly, he can't hold the character very long and drops right back into his own bile-spitting voice very quickly. He goes on like this.

"And then you sanctimoniously tout how you're opposed to the death penalty and brag about how liberals, unlike conservatives, are such paragons of "non-violence." Give me a break!"--Michael

So much for Mike's acting abilities. He interestingly fails to quote me concearning the "paragon of non-violence" accusation. It doesn't matter though, since he can't quote anything in context anyway.

"What makes you think that you have the right to decry Dick Armey's supposed hypocrisy when you are such a disgustingly insufferable hypocrite yourself?"--Michael

Answer: My first amendment right to free speech. The one Michael doesn't believe in as I've shown in the immigration section above.

"Conservatives need not worry, it will take many many more years for that media to get it through their thick skulls that prohibition hasn't worked and in fact has caused the break-up of families nation wide. We always hear about how absolutely awful drugs are, eh? But ask yourself what is more likely to appear in your news head-line: "Drug Rate Escilates!" or "Prohibiton Hurting Thousands"'." --Pulled from my Con Media rant again.

"Now back to referring to him in the third person. I don't want to stay too close to either him or to his mentor, the "rational" and "reasonable" Ms. Joycelyn Elders. OK, where was I? Oh yes, now I remember."--Michael

I like Elders. So what? All his ranting and raving about how she is my "mentor" or something has gotten very tiresome. He seems to think this incriminates me somehow.

"If you add this latest madness, his apparent endorsement of drug legalization..."--Michael

There already are perfectly legal drugs. Apparently Michael has never heard of alcohol or nicotine.

"...to his previous off-the-wall proposals, you will begin to see just how skewed and twisted this guy's political beliefs really are. Try to envision for a moment what America would be like if he had his way and our entire country was converted to one giant realm of liberalism. (The thought is so frightening, I can scarcely even write it!)"--Michael

Now this is funny. Get a load of his summary.

"[1] Everyone in the world who wants to move here will be allowed to come to our country, [2] they will all continue to speak their original languages (so that the various groups are unable to communicate with one another), and [3] they will all be permitted to indulge in hedonistic drug use that is presently illegal, so that not only will the diverse groups be unable to communicate with each other, they will also be unable to think clearly as well!"--Michael

[1] I wonder what would've happened if Mike's anscestors had been denied access to this country. This country would probably be a better place, admittedly, but I'd have fought it for principle's sake. ;)

[2] I believe that we don't have the right to force people to learn a second language. What Michael says sums up to the ridiculous notion that I think we should prevent people who speak foriegn languages from learning any others, which is absurd. A common law of a society is that foriegners adapt to the language of the country they immigrate to anyway.

[3] I guess Michael wouldn't mind so much if they all got drunk with that legal drug, alcohol.

(Sigh), what do you do with a bubble-head like Michael? :)

(Ooh! Another ad hominem attack Mike! Go for it!)

"Sounds to me like a recipe for disaster, but, hey, what do I know? I'm only a hypnotized "didiot" (bigoted liberal term meaning "dittohead")."--Michael

Dittoheads chose their form of entertainment, they have power over it. Immigrants do not have power over their geographical location of birth and quite frankly I find his argument that non-Americans are too stubborn (or maybe he thinks they're too dumb? I'll have to ask him some time) to learn any other language than their original to be quite bigoted. Certainly more bigoted than any of his accusations against me, defacing those oh so poor undeserving dittoheads.

"According to Sinistral, I'm one of the world's "twisted enigmas." Take a look at the brilliant psychoanalysis of Yours Truly that Sinistral, in his state of condescending liberal arrogance, was kind enough to make available for the whole world to see."-- Michael

He's earned "Twisted Enigma" status. Hell, I even got along with him and tried diplomacy with him once. But once you prove your arrogance to me, I'm gonna let you have the criticisms you deserve. I guess Mike can't deal with that ;)

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