They're coming... They're closer... They're HERE!
They're illegal communist bastards who are trying to steal our low-wage jobs and take over our great nation! They're people who speak oddly and have scary traditions that we don't understand! They're sneaking across our borders risking life and limb for liberty, daring to brave shark infested waters when by sea and chubby southern wahoos with clubs at the border when by land, how DARE they!
They're illegal immigrants, and we must never ever ever ever ever ever ever forget that they are EVIL! We need to build a wall! Yes! Jesus hated foriegners too and in his name we must build a wall like Pat Buchanan wants at our borders to protect our slums from illegal immigrants! They're lazy! You can tell! They're too busy praying to whatever satanic gods they pray to and pinching the tiny amount of money they can barely aquire to do actuall work in their own country!
Illegal immigrants are destroying our country! They are secretly building a secret socialist force that nobody can find becuase black helicopters are protecting them from true Americans like us! WE are the true Americans becuase we hate foreigners! We've got to take these illegal bastards from the worst end of hell and whoop their foreign asses back to their own little dirt-bag country!
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Hold on... Have you ever heard the above before? Maybe I exaggerated a bit, but I'm sure you've heard things like"'illegal immigrants are the problem with our country." before, right?
That's just what they're saying, the above "ILLEGAL IMMAGRINTS ARE EVIL!" ramblings are closer to what most of them mean. Here's some interesting common-sense logic:
Illegal Immigrants' Jobs:Who do you see driving a cab in NYC? Who do you
see at a convinience store counter? Who do you see pumping gas? Yes! These
are the jobs that everyone dreams of being stolen by Illegal immigrants! They
are also the most dangerous jobs. Believe it or not running the counter in a
convinience store is more dangerous than being a policeman or a firefighter.
Taxi Driver comes damn close in second too. So why hasn't anyone asked
themselves "Hey! These people are risking their lives for whatever small
amounts of money they can scratch up! Why do we hate them instead of praiseing
them for the risks they take just to drive us around?"
I'll tell you why we haven't asked that:
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE EVIL!
Illegal Immigrants' Kids:The republicans in congress have made it clear that
they want to pass a bill that will make it illegal for the children of illegal
immigrants to go to school. Well, call me strange, but I think it's simply
wrong to punish a child for the acts for the parents. Furthermore, anybody with
more than half a brain can tell you where these children of illegal immigrants
will go if they're not in school (Hint:It's not back to their original
country!) That's what we need, more young kids on the street. So why
haven't the republicans in congress figured that it's just wrong to punish kids
for what they didn't do and shove them into the streets?
I'll tell you why they
haven't figured that:
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE EVIL!
Illegal Immigrants' Money:Allot of people are angry about how
illegal immagrants don't get the taxes legal citizens have. I have a very very
simple solution to this: Make them legal. You see, if they are legal, they pay
the same taxes we do, and voila, no more problem in that feild! I say we just
let everyone in, who wants to get in. They ain't stealing our jobs, they're
working in jobs in America, making money, spending money and hence making more
jobs! It's simple logic! Capitalists of all people should realize that! But then, why haven't people
realized on
these simple logical notions that anybody that can seriously think for
themselves come up with?
I'll tell you why people haven't realized that:
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE EVIL!
Illegal Immigrants' Babbling:Some of those farthest right actually believe
that everyone who doesn't know English in this country shouldn't be allowed to
be a citizen. Well, as those in Great Britain who invented the language would
say: "Poppicock!" What kind of damn right do people have to force
people to talk the way they want? Forcing people to learn English is like
forcing people to learn Algebra. Learning it may be a wise thing to do, but I'm
not going to say to somebody, "Learn what 'x(y) - pi' is or I'll
boot you from the country!" So why haven't people thought of this right of
free speech?
I'll tell you will people haven't thought of that:
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE EVIL!
Illegal Immigrants' Blowing things up:How come whenever somebody says, "Terrorist"
the first thing that comes into everyone's mind is an Arab guy with a beard and
sunglasses holding a timebomb? The Unibomber is a terrorist, right? He sure as
hell ain't from another country! How about Timothy McVeigh? Sure there are a few who may
have foreign origins, but most
of the big stories of terrorism have no goddam thing to do with them. So why
don't people think of other Americans come terrorist acts?
I'll tell you why
people don't think that:
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE EVIL!
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Looking back at American history, everyone here's originated from another country, save American Indians. Allot of us are here, as the result of anscestors sneaking across the border illegally (Except for Blacks who were forcefully dragged here).
My great Grandparents mostly snuck over here from Ireland, some Scotland. If my Irish anscestors hadn't managed to find some way into this country I'd probably be in Northern Ireland right now throwing grenades at British people. Thank god my Great Grandparents weren't stupid. And you know what? Pat Buchanan would be in North Ireland right now if it weren't for his Anscestors who didn't pass on their brains to him, unfortunately.
C'mon, we've got huge empty states out there! (There are less people in Wyoming than in suffolk county Long Island. Alaska is big enough to hold another half the poeple we already have in the whole country now and still have plenty of fresh fish for everyone.)
Here's my full scale immigration plan: Free green cards for everyone who can reach our border. Those who come into our country are asked three questions to gain exceptance: "What is your name, what is your quest, what is your favorite color?". We give them a green card free of charge with the three answers printed on it, and send them to one of the states that needs filling up via U-HAUL. I'd recomend the following states for immagant population boosting:
Wyoming (currently roughly{CR} 4.7 people per sq. mile)
South Dakota (CR 9.2)
North Dakota (CR 9.3)
Oregon (CR 29.6)
New Mexico (CR 12.5)
Nevada (CR 10.9)
Nebraska (CR 20.5)
Montana (CR 5.5)
Kansas (CR 30.3)
Idaho (CR 12.2)
Colorado (CR 31.8)
Arkansas (CR 45.1)
Arizona (CR 32.3)
Now, allot of the states listed here are dominated by the right-wingers. So needless to say places like Montana, Kansas and the Dakotas might get a bit pissed that we're sending a bunch of awe-struck-with-America immigrants into their states to make them bloom. But hey, if they're too bigotted to welcome good hard-working god-abiding (No matter what god(s) it may be) people into their towns, or even let them create their own towns. That's their damn problem!
So c'mon everybody! Let's send our foreign freinds to Wyoming! : )
