You Know You're Conservative If:

- You're "Pro-life" and support the Death Penalty.
- You think cutting Education is better for America's children.
- You are sure Anita Hill is lying, but there's not doubt at all that Paula Jones is telling the truth!
- You think everybody on welfare are lazy people who don't work
- You rant and rave about the evils of drugs... unless that drug happens to be tobacco.
- Adore employment("Workfare"). But if a company owner downsizes thousands of jobs for just about a million dollars, that's okay becuase he should be able to make a profit no matter what.
- You feel, everyone was "created equal" unless that person is gay.
- You find humor in saying "Al Gore" as one word "Algore" and in spelling Clinton with a K like "Klinton"
- You think liberalism is communism.
- You think Hillary Rhodam-Clinton is a communist.
- You try to convince people God is a capitalist.
- You believe welfare money should not go to the poor but to rich people.
- You think workers should be payed whatever their employers want.
- You think the media is led by those "liberal" corperate owners.
- You think everyone in America should be speaking English, like it or not.
- You hate the Clintons becuase they held their mairrage together instead of getting a divorce.
- You endorse free speech/religion to further Christianity but ignore freedom from religion.
- You scream about all that awful filth on television, then go wave a picture of an aborted fetus in front of a school.
- You blame all minority problems on the minority with the problem.
- You are convinced Dan Quayle is a very intelligent person.
- You support your theory that Bill Clinton really did inhale with the argument,"Well, he just did, he's a lier. HA!"
- You think women only go through abortions for selfish reasons.
- You Insist people pay horribly for tax increases, but turn a deaf ear to the people that get hurt from tax-cuts
- You compare Al Gore to the unabomber
- You think democrats are the only ones who are slippery when it comes to campaign money.
- You think democrats are the only ones demonizing the opponent come election campaigns.
- You think that becuase liberals don't like war they hate the people fighting them.
- You believe conservative christians are the only christians.
- You think liberals aren't progressive.
- You'd rather vote for Ross Perot than Bill Clinton.
- You hate hate hate hate HATE taxes, becuase it's really your money! Unless that tax-money goes to military spending, or the drug-war, or Deficit hawking, or corperate welfare...
- You are a capitalist that doesn't like the many consumers who are trying to immigrate into the country and hence make more jobs.
- You count your age from conception.
- You think Rush Limbaugh is family entertainment.
- You think G. Gordon Liddy is both sane and wise.
- You think Ollie North is a true patriot.
- You think Pat Robertson is a Saint and the 700Club is the best program to watch on television
- And finally, you know you're a conservative if you don't get the point of this.

Sinistral, 1997 1

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws