Hey ya'll listen to this. The fiber of our demokrasy has been ummm... messed with.

     Yesterday my maw done drove me to the Highway 90 Steak and Shake to see them thar nitro girls and DDP himself Diamond Dallas Page. Its all fine now but this is where I plum cracked like a... well I cracked.

     I says to DDP "Sir, Mr. DDP, kin I rassle with you fer tha world tag team belt? I've got my own special variety move an all, its called the Cornfed... uhh punch, cos I punch um squar in the eye, a real haymaker like this." Whul then I walloped DDP right in the eye. Dun knocked him back out of his chair! He looked good and ready whens I Cornfed Punched him heem but I guess I took him by surprise.

     So the sekurity guards drug me a ways to yonder alley and worked me over sumthin fierce. Whul then I close lined um, and rassled all three of um to the ground. Just then mama pulled up with ole blue the grinnin farm truck and we peeled some rubber I tell you what.

     Next day I calls up the WCW on their 900 number to say sorry to DDP but it was just some hifalutin record recording so's I Cornfed Punched the phone and bloodied my hand! Mama cuffed me up side tha head real good and I had to go to bed. Bye ya'll!