I took a vacation.

Your parole officer has been a lookin fer ya. He's real mad too!.

Aww, he's always real mad, I think its in the job description. But man I needed to get away. I brought some snapshots back to show you though.

Oh goodie goodie gumdrops! I love my some pitchers! Whar ja go?

Well I'd been hearing all this crap about the y2k bug and stuff and I decided to go check it out. So I went to the year 2002.

Ummm.... I ain't the smartest monkey in the zoo but even I know you can't go to the future!

Quiet down kid, the slide show's starting.

Alright, here's my friend Clarence, he was my guide. We had to wear protective suits outside of the bunker because in the year 2000 the damn ruksy pinko's nukes were on some Atari eggtimer and when the imortal one Dick Clark lowered the ball on '00 the nukes got to nukin, no biggie.

This is him in his back yard with some of his "supplies." His wife Eileen cooks a killer Nuke Rat casserole!

Oh mah GARSH! The world's gonna have one of them nukulur meltdown thingies like in Godzilla? Man I'm glad I found out I really need to finnish that spaceship soon then!

What spaceship?

ummmm...... did I say spaceship? I meant Sally Struthers TV/VCR repair degree... ya thats what I meanded...

Oh, ok. Watch out for question 24 on the exam, who'd have known that VCR's and TV's don't run on "Magic"? Upity, fat, poor-kid-coddlin... Anyway, we had to stay in this underground bunker and hide from bands of nomadic killers what roamed the wasteland in the daytime.

NOMADIC KILLERS?

pipe down, I'm trying to show my pictures! Ok so blah blah nomadic killers with acid guns blah blah bunkers. So here's a shot Clarence took of my in the bunker.

That thing in the foreground is actually a meat eating blob people keep as pets in the future...

no foolin?

I'm just pullin your leg man, thats Clarence's thumb. I didn't say people were smart in the future.

So did you have to gather foods n stuff awl day jes to stay alive?

Oh hell no man this is America! Some people used to say that only cockroaches could survive a nuclear war. Those people weren't familiar with good ole American Capitalism. We ate at Burger King!

Wow, that shur was excitin! Whated ya learn from your trip to the future?

I learned a lot about humanity and perserverence. But most importantly I learned that it's a bad idea to moon a Nomadic Killer because they carry acid guns. Hey hand me that pillow I have to sit down for a second.