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| Welcome to the Smoking Monkey. Where all of our childrens dreams come true. |
| Here are the other pages in this SHIT HOLE! |
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| Headlines for the week of March 4th |
| Our FUCKING adventures from March th to March th |
| Dear Readers: Welcome to the Smoking Monkey. So far response has been great, I didn't expect this venture to take off as well as it has. As you can see from the counter below, we have had a substantial amount of hits over two weeks. In time, this will diminsh of course, but not anytime soon. I have plans to get some pics up of most of you, Gilmo just needs to get off his FUCKING ass first. I will also plead with you to join the message board and get some good active topics going over there. Sign the guestbook like Niall and Horn did. Just have a good fucking time. If you have any problems with the fucking language then I am sorry, but you will have to unread what you have already read. In the future I will rant and rave about things going on in my life, but things are going relatively well right now so I can't really complain. As you can tell, the word "fuck" is being used a bit more sparingly then the old site (which you can find at www.angelfire.com/rant/funnyshit) I hope that doesn't dissapoint any of you. On the off chance I go off into insanity I will being using the coveted fuck word much more frequently however. If anyone has a problem with any material on the site just tell me and I will be more happy then take it down or change, unless of course your a dickhead about it, then I will fuck you over. So enjoy your stay, poke around for awhile, and for God sakes, don't eat drugs. Thank you Shaun |
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| The Above Picture has nothing to do with the following headline. THIS JUST IN, NIALL IS NOT GAY! Despite reports from long time friend Dave Rosa, Niall is not gay. The rumors began Friday night at a party in which Dave mistook Niall's puking as a come on. Being nervous and confused, Dave followed by flirting with Naill and wondered if homosexuality was for him. Dave was beaten. Niall's lawyers released a press release today saying "It couldn't account for Mr Rosa's actions." and "no sexual advancements were ever intiated by Mr Niall." The only witness to the situation was a gerbil. We will have more on this as it develops. The dog mentioned in this article is not the dog in the above, unrelated picture. |
| FRIDAY: Concerts and Everything After CAST: All. Gilmore gets tipsy before hand. Ryan spills Tequila on clothing. Shoe blows. Gilmore wants to steal money. Show ends. Show blows. Tom smells. Go to Friendlys. More drinking. Piss off entire resturaunt. Yadda yadda yadda vandalism. Yadda yadda yadda death threat. Blah blah blah Serious Shaun. Leave. Ryan pukes in car wash. ITS ON TAPE! SATURDAY: Cannibal: The Musical! CAST: Shaun, Nicole, Dan, Mark, Reggie, T-4 Crew. I buy shitty yet funny movie. Meet up with Nik. Stay at Niks house for a long while. Good pizza. Leave Niks get to Reggie's Palace after much confusion. T-4 gets there. Watch said movie. Dan and Mark get there. Turn off said movie. Go to Hooters. Stare at tits. Leave Hooters. Reggie takes us prisoner. Leave Reggie's Palace. Sorry for quickness. Long weekend awakes. |
| Chris, put the pic from the newspaper here, you dumb shit. Here is the Fucking Picture Shaun........You Cumguzzler -Gilmore |
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| WEDNESDAY: Blade 2, yea just Blade 2 CAST: T-4, Reggie, Gilmore, Shaun, Ryan To be quite honest with you I forgot how the day started out. It involved school and for some reason I still have Ryan's backpack and my own to prove that fact. But I forgot exactly what happened after school. So I will just lie and say we went to the fucking zoo. Gilmore has just informed me we all went over Jays and played Basketball. I don't believe this because quite frankly, look at me. I am a fat guy. So are my friends. Especiallly T-4, Gilmore and Ryan. Not Jay, women find him attractive. I know we then all took in a viewing of Blade 2 which I found to be a wildly entertaining movie. Its a good ass kicking movie. It has no deep message, its just meant to kick your ass. It achieved just that. Of course Reggie, Gilly, and Ryan missed the first 15 minutes, they were busy trying to find change in Gilly's car for soda that none of them in fact wanted or needed. Anyways after the movie we went to the Barnes and Noble and saw alot of people, including Dolores, who know has a metal pimple on her nose. Go figuire. That crazy bitch will do anything. The night ended shortly there after. Somwhere tonight Nik hits a car and totals her Saturn. Turns out the Saturn was actually just a matchbox car. Nik was ok. FUN FACTOR: I don't remember most of the night so, 5 out of 10 BLADE II: 7 out of 10 THURSDAY: "Insert witty title." CAST: Shaun, Gilmore, T-4, Reggie, Dave, Adam, Anthony, Ryan, Amy, Sarah, Nicole, Dan, Somma, Kevin, and last but no the least bit least, Cip I wake up in the morning to find out my brother told a teacher that he or she sucks dick. I am gonna go out on a limb and say he said it to a guy because whoever it was got pissed. He was suspended for 2 days. I didn't know what to do really. So I decide to have a few people over. I always decide to have a few people over. It happens about every 2 months or so. This is mainly because after 2 months I forgot how much I loathe having people over. My house is too fun for other people. The more fun the more mess. Now normally I would have no problem with this, but in this case I do. This is basically because I have to clean up the by product of fun which in this case is a mess. Sucks don't it. Well slowly people trickle in. More people then I would have liked but less then I would have invited. All good people though. Not a prick in the bunch. So it was all fun in games. The fun and games sended slowly and soon the survivors made there way to the diner. This included myself, Somma who got a warning from a piggy on the way, Anthony, who nearly died getting off the highway. Adam, died getting off the exit of life. Dave. Simply Dave. Dan who despite rumors is real. And of course Nicole who recently discovered eye shadow. Everyone else would have loved to go to the diner but didn't for unknown reasons. The chief reason, I suspect, was sleep, which I needed but didn't get. Good times. FUN FACTOR: 7 out of 10 FRIDAY: A Long Day of Nothing Really CAST: Shaun, Ryan, T-4, Reggie, Gilmore, Cip, Amy, and Sarah We start with me trying to apply for a job at Home Depot. After a 45 minute wait I find that all the application computers are broken. In a mean, angry, and bitter manner I take my leave. After this Ryan and T-4 and I head up to West Farms. Long story short we leave West Farms without purchasing so much as a dime bag. We then meet Reggie and Iceman and Cip at the theatre and see Death to Smoochy. Real funny movie, very entertaining. Great jokes and good acting. I don't remember it much becauseit was largely overshadowed by Panic Room. Before Panic Room of course Cip had to leave to go see a band which had someone in it he didn't care about. He took Gilmores car though. So Amy and Sarah see Panic Room with us. A very good movie expierence. Very suspenseful and a few twists to keep you guessing. An excellent movie I highly recommend to anyone who is anyone. Then of course we leave the theatre and we have nothig else to do. So I get out of the car and I say it straight, we bullshit at someone's house, we bullshit at a resturaunt or we all go home. Of course I turn my back and T FUCKNG 4 steals my car. Anger rising. Everyone chases after him and leaves me there, cold and well hurt. So I begin walking to nowhere in particular because there really isn't anywhere to walk to when you've been stranded in a place thats nowhere near your home. Sarah and the others pick me up and we are off after T FUCKING 4. We find the kid at Barnes and Noble which is the only place he ever really goes to go to. He likes to oggle the kids in the childrens sections. In a brief struggle I grabd his sunglasses and destroy them. In a talking match, I get my keys back. Then he sees his broken sunglasses. So he sees it fit to dent my car. Go figuire. I am fine with just leaving him yet I feel bad and send a driver to get him. Of course this should all remain between just me and him but all the allies and nazis need to get to involved and high school politics hits it high point. As people be nice to the kid and then bash him behind his back. You never know which of your friends are your enemies. Yea, I got my car back, made sure T FUCKING 4 got home then went home to bed. It was a long day of nothing really. FUN FACTOR: 6 out of 10 DEATH TO SMOOCHY: 7 out of 10 PANIC ROOM: 9 out of 10 SATURDAY: Spring Cometh CAST: Shaun, Nicole, and that kid Reggie I was woken by Nicole who was nice enough to tell me she didn't need a ride. I was re awoken by Nik who was needing a ride. Things change I guess. So I head off to get her, but what follows is a solid 5 hours of driving. But this isn't shitty driving its fun driving. It being the first day of spring, I take the top off the Jeep. This means fun will ensue and it does as I offroad my way through the day. Fuck I'm a good poet. Anywho Reggie gets involved and has a bug up his ass about seeing a shitty punk show. So I go and it wasn't too bad. Like all punk shows the crowd sucked cock, and the venue blew nuts. Sorry about the felatio analogies. Anyways the band, Bigwig was decent. They were hardcore, none of that my girlfriend left me so know I gotta jack off into a paper bag bullshit. Entertaining. The other bands sucked so we left. Early night. As for Nik's Blackie's carreer lets just say "So long and thanks for the milkshake." FUN FACTOR: 7 out of 10 BIGWIG: 7 out of 10 SUNDAY: Easter CAST: Shaun, Somma, Jenn, Nikki Happy Easter. The day where Jesus rose from the dead in the form of a white rabbit who gives candy and brightly colored eggs to children all over the globe. Thanks Bunny Jesus. Anywho onto what us pagan's really care about. I was told quite early on that I couldn't go out on Easter. I sadly accepted this. So when Gilly called me later to do something and my mom forced me to go I was quite delighted. So I went and, well Gilmore couldn't leave. But Somma could because he doesn't believe in God. So myself and him went to visit an ailing girl and a pyro midget. Well the pyro midget was Nicole and she was all Nicole like which some may say is bad but others say is good. I will remain indifferent. Jenn on the otherhand is usually a downer in a pretty package. Her preaching and such will make anyone fear their hell ridden future. This was not the case tonight. Jenn, being the ailing girl I mentioned above, was doped up on painkillers. This made a fun Jenn, who by the miracle of drugs was attracted to me. This Jenn wanted to be a stripper, thought I was Santa, wanted me to be her pillow because I was fat, and some other stuff that made Somma want to claw his eyes out. Very funny and entertaining. Entirely unexpected too. Fun night. FUN FACTOR: 8 out of 10 MONDAY: Christmas Day CAST: Shaun, Nik, Jenn, Jay, Ryan, Gilmore, Somma, and Hagan Up too early. Went to barnes and nobles. Nothing there for me. $113 worth of stuff there for Jenn though. I was the tool who was forced to carry it. Off to lunch. Good. Off to Jays. Good. Jenn goes home. Good. Jeep. EXCELLENT. Bowling, Blah. Home. Fuck. And here I sit. FUN FACTOR: 3 out of 10 |
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