| A Mom's Letter June 30th,2003 |
| Hi everyone - I can honestly say I have hardly any clue what to write, so I guess I will just have to 'wing it', as they say. If I ramble, please forgive me... or don't. Up to you. All I'm asking is for 5 minutes. |
| I didn't really get any hint that there was anything wrong with Logan for a very long time. His feet were turned in slightly, but anytime I brought it up to his doctors, I got told 'Don't worry, mama... he will grow out of it.' He was an extremely happy baby... he never cried. He always smiled. Looking back, I can see now that there were telltale signs of Autism, but everytime I took him to his doctors, for checkups or his shots, I would bring up about his feet, and they would say 'Don't worry mama... he will grow out of it.' Looking back, the doctors should have seen what I was thinking... there's something just not quite right. On his first birthday, he spoke his first sentence when told to stay away from the kitchen. 'I go!', and he did. Stubborn little cuss (I still smile fondly at this memory). I should mention that his bigger brother Josh is 2 years and 2 days older than Logan... we try not to do the combined birthday thing, but sometimes financially it is so much easier. We moved (by bus - we had no car) to New Mexico from New York after Independance Day that year... BIG difference! I had a old friend from High School out there, so it made it a little easier, but no matter what we did, we couldn't quite get beyond the bare essentials. My husband worked at a security outfit, but it was site by site, so our income constantly varied. I got a job, but it wasn't easy with both of us working and no childcare... I worked days, and my hubby worked nights. One morning before work I called a radio station contest one day (promotion was just starting for a 5 week contest) and got qualified to win 'The Grand Prize - 2 Computers!'. Love doing contests, so I waited, and when they drew the name for that week, it wasn't me, so I put it behind. The next Monday, I got a call at work... I WON! It was (and still is) the biggest thing I ever won! So exciting! Josh and Logan turned 4 and 2... got them each their own birthday cakes, and Logan (when prompt to) would kind of sing along with the 'Happy Birthday Song'. He could say just a few words, like ball, cup, mama, dada, truck... maybe 15-20 words in all. Doctors didn't seem to want to take me seriously when I would talk to them about this, saying 'He will catch up, he's just taking his time.' Wanting to believe, I took them at their word. Then my husband got shot in a drive by on his way to work... the bullet hit the security badge, otherwise he could have been killed, not just knocked off his bicycle. He called me from work that night (he is SO stubborn) to let me know what happened, and he told me it pissed him off because it made him late for work! Can you believe it? He still has the scar where he was shot on his chest. They never caught the guy that shot him. I told him this was the last staw - he'd had two dogs sic'd on him at an apartment site, and now this? I sold one of the two computers I'd won for $500, and we finally bought our first car - a big ol' stationwagon. Well, it got us all out to Arizona where my cousin lives, and we lived out of that car for the first month we were there, next to the Colorado River. It's hot as hell there... it got to 132 degrees the first week we were there! The stationwagon only lasted us for 9 months - it had a bad transmission to start with, but hey, it got us out there and away from where my husband was almost killed, just for looking 'like a cop'. Soon after we moved to Arizona, Logan slowly stopped talking. We took him to a doctor that insisted that Logan was probably deaf. I kept telling this guy that there was no way Logan was deaf - he could hear a soda can being opened at 500 yards - and would come running! We got another car by chance, and that one lasted us 2 months - the motor had a cracked block. My luck with cars is horrible! We did manage to get Logan to a specialist for hearing in Flagstaff - where they told us his hearing is fine - just as good as if not better than average... which put us back to square one. After trying to get him into preschool, we were told to go to the special ed class, to get an IEP for him. After explaining how Logan had been, they put into the IEP that he had autistic-like qualities, and that helped alot with finally getting him officially diagnosed on paper as Autistic. After another 6 months, I got a referral to a program where I could get a car for $20 a month for a year of payments, as long as I had a job and would make the payments monthly. I have never minded jumping through hoops to get what my family needs, as long as I do finally get it! This was about 3 years ago, and this is the car we still have now... three transmissions later and still going. The family is getting bigger size wise, and the car is slowly breaking down... last week the speedometer started spinning, and then went to zero while I was going (I hope) about 55mph down the highway. Anyways, keeping Logan in school has proved to be more difficult than you'd think, and even though we've had him on different medications to keep him calmed down, we've had to deal with teachers that don't have a clue as to what to do with him. He won't stay focused on any one thing for more than 5 minutes. He had one teacher who actually told me that she could handle him, her 'mother had Alzheimer's - it's not much different, right?' Puleeeze! We moved just a couple of days after Logan's 7th birthday to California, but it's still a really small town - not many doctors out here. We have a referal to take Logan to a specialist for an overnight assessment in September, about 200 miles from here... we will see how that goes. Until then, we do everything to keep Logan safe and sound, and we keep trying to teach him to speak. We finally got him to start bringing us a cup when he tries to get a drink of Kool-Aid (only likes blue punch) or soda (which is only given if it's medicine time). We are trying to get beds for all of us (we are all sleeping on the floor) and with the bills starting to pile up since I had to quit work to be at home with Logan full time (on doctor's recommendation) it's been really hard recently to keep up with what the kids all need, nevermind what they want. My oldest boy was reading about Karyn and her success with getting her debt cleared, and basically that is where this site was born. Meanwhile, we keep on keepin' on, Logan is as precocious as ever... and I can dream and hope to get Logan to speak. All I really want to hear is him tell me 'Mommy, I love you' ... and know that he understands what that means. Thank You for any help you can give. - Donna Addley |
| My husband and I were so happy when we found out I was pregnant with our youngest child, Logan... my husband being honorably discharged out of the U.S. Navy service for a little over 2 years by then. Logan was born in Rochester, New York on April 1st, 1996. The pregnancy itself was normal, but it seemed to be a bit long... I remember thinking "is this kid EVER gonna give up the free jacuzzi?" I had no idea just how much he would change my life, just that I would be happy when he finally decided to show up. I had a doctor visit that morning, and they were going to do an amniocentisis which basically meant they were going to insert a very long needle into the fluid sac surrounding the baby to figure out why the pregnancy was taking so long. When they did the ultrasound, they couldn't find a 'pocket of fluid' large enough to do the amniocentisis. The hospital staff rushed me up to the next floor of the hospital, where the birthing rooms were. I called my husband at home, telling him to "come quick! It's baby time!" He didn't believe me (after all, it WAS April Fools Day) at first, and he said "Haha very funny... I'm supposed to start my new job today!" I had to get a nurse to tell him I wasn't playing a prank on him!Well, needless to say, Hubby rushed over to the hospital, and half an hour later, Logan made his grand entrance. 9lbs., 6oz., a healthy baby boy! The next day my hubby brought the rest of the family, including his mom, to visit and to see the new baby. One of my most precious memories - my then 4 year old daughter Allie walked in, saw me in bed (with a much smaller tummy all of a sudden), and said "Mommy - where's the baby?? Did the doctor eat the baby??" We all still get a little laugh about it... |
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