Chi Delta Mu - About Us

How is the chapter organized?
The Chapter was established by the head of TRI-ESS, Carol Beecroft, in the summer of 1981. We have a President, Vice-President, Treasurer, and Secretary, with a number of other members serving on special committees, such as Publicity and Programs. We are growing in size, primarily due to the several Radio, Television and Newspaper features on us, as well as contact through the Internet.

We are the only TRI-ESS Chapter in the New York / New Jersey Metro Area. We have members coming to meetings from middle New Jersey and Connecticut, from upstate New York, and far out on Long Island. Additionally, the Chapter has a special spouse/significant other support group to assist new spouses and significant others in answering questions, to talk with, etc.

What are the members like?
Like most special interest organizations in the area, there is a general mix of professions, ages, races, and religions. In CHI-DELTA-MU there are Teachers, Consultants, Salesmen, Pilots, Photographers, Truck Drivers, etc. The ages range from the 20’s to the 80’s. Most are married with families, and a number are fortunate to have spouses or significant others who are understanding and supportive.

What are the meetings like?
The meetings of the Chapter are held on the second Saturday of every month in Bergen County, New Jersey. A meeting room and a changing room are opened at 4 PM, and are available until Midnight. The business meeting begins at 8pm, preceded by a light dinner. And special programs or just plain socializing follow. The group usually leaves around midnight, and the Chapter has a special rate if you want to keep the changing room for overnight.



Can a guest attend the meetings?
Those who are close to the crossdresser (spouse, significant other, parents, etc.), are always welcome to attend meetings. We have found that when a spouse meets and talks with other spouses and significant others, any fears they may still have about their partner being a crossdresser often disappear. Since we encourage spouses/significant others and parents to attend, there is never an attendance fee for these guests.

What are the goals and objectives of the chapter?
The goals of the CHI-DELTA-MU Chapter are the same as the National Organization, since all local Chapters operate within the Society’s overall policy framework.

The specific objectives of the Chapter are:
• Assist in educating the general public about the facts concerning heterosexual crossdressing.
• Offer mutual support to all members, but especially those who are having difficulty accepting the opposite side of their gender personality.
• Provide the partners of the crossdressers an opportunity to meet their counterparts.

Does the crossdresser have to dress at the meetings?
We try to maintain a non-pressure type atmosphere since we realize how very difficult it is for some new members to come to a meeting. Some members come dressed, others change in the room provided. Some come in male clothes because of other commitments or they didn’t feel like dressing. There is never pressure on you to dress. It is all part of the understanding nature of our special group of Heterosexual Crossdressers.

What about security?
The Society’s coded mail-forwarding service is described in detail in the National publication. Most members use Post Office boxes and alternate-gender names as a secure way to get mail and make contact. Chapter members operate under the general rule:

"If I reveal information about myself to you, it is expected you will not reveal that information to anyone else unless I know about it and approve."

At the Hotel where the meetings are held, the management is aware of our group, and treats us like any other community or professional organization. Our members don’t cause trouble and we are hardly noticed by other guests. The Hotel we use is quite nice, and is the type of place you and your family would use while traveling. The meeting and changing rooms are in the rear of the hotel with its own outside entrance. It is not necessary to go into the hotel lobby to get to the meeting room.

How would someone learn more, or become a member?
In order to join any TRI-ESS chapter, you must first be interviewed. This helps to maintain the Chapter’s security. The location of the meeting place is not general knowledge, and will not be revealed until after the interview. For local Contact, and to answer any questions you may still have, or to request an interview, contact CHI-DELTA-MU at one of the e-mail addresses listed at the end of this page. The Chapter does require you to become a member of TRI-ESS soon after joining CHI-DELTA-MU, (if you are not a Tri-Ess member already). For more information about Tri-Ess, visit the website at http://www.tri-ess.net/, or write to Tri-Ess International

via E-mail at:
[email protected]

or via Surface mail at:
The Society for the Second Self, Inc.
8880 Bellaire Boulevard, B2 PMB 104
Houston, TX 77036-4621

or submit an information request form:
http://www.tri-ess.net/info_request_form.html

What are the age and gender requirements?
You can be a male or female crossdresser of any age. But if you are under the age of 18 years, you can only attend when accompanied by a parent or guardian.

What about membership costs and fees?
The local Chapter, CHI-DELTA-MU has an annual membership fee of $30.00 which finances the chapter and it's promotional efforts. An additional meeting fee is charged for those who attend the meetings. This is $20.00. This helps cover the cost of renting the meeting room and the changing room. (There is an annual fee discount after February since there's only 1/2 year left and the chapter does not meet over the summer.) Another benefit of chapter membership is the use of the Chapter’s extensive collection of books, audio and video tapes, available through our Chapter Librarian.

New members write:
• “Joining TRI-ESS and the Chapter has been about the best thing I’ve done for myself”
• “I sincerely hope that others who feel as I do are somehow able to find their way to your meeting”
• “How fortunate you are to live where an active TRI-ESS Chapter exists”
• “I would like to say what a relief it was to learn I’m not alone”
• “It was only this summer that I decided to do something to help myself by joining the Chapter”
• “You gals really did a number on my wife at my first meeting. She was skeptical when she agreed to go, but we had a wonderful evening and my wife loved you all and was quite impressed with the gathering. She will be returning, as will I.”

Thanks for stopping by
“We want to thank you for expressing an interest in our organization. I hope that this page answers most of your questions. If we can be of help to you, we stand ready. Many of us went through difficult times with our crossdressing when we thought we were “alone” or “the only one”. We want to help others, and their families, who now feel in that position. If our organization sounds like the type you wanted, we do hope you will join us! Meeting others who are just like yourself can add a whole new, positive dimension to your life. Many of us have become good friends, socializing outside the crossdressing setting. We are especially delighted in that a number of our spouses and significant others attend the meetings. So, again, if you meet our group’s criteria, you will not regret joining us. If you are not a crossdresser, we hope that this page has helped to inform you, and if you know someone who should see it, please tell them about us so they can visit our site.”