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CHARACTER

A major part of your life concerns your relationship and dealing with other people. Fulfillment in your social interactions can contribute to leading a satisfying and successful life. Factors involved in having satisfying relationships are that you should have respect for other people, seek to have everyone win, and enjoy others today.

Questions you may have on this are:

• How can you respect everyone?
• If others win, don't you lose?
• What if you are too busy to enjoy others today?

Have respect for other people

Everyone deserves some respect. Don’t stereotype or categorize others, such that you automatically show disrespect. Also, don't be a cynic who puts everyone else down.

If you don't have respect for others, your attitude shows through in your relationships with that person. How can you get along with a person if you secretly think little of him or her? Disrespect can harm business dealings, as well as personal relationships.

Always think well of a person, even if you disagree or dislike things he or she does. You will find that people ride to your expectations of them. And remember that the Bible said that "God created man in His own image."

Seek to have everyone win

In any dealings with another person, you should seek a solution in which you both win something. This is called a "win-win" situation, where you both reach a mutually beneficial transaction. Don't try to beat the other person into the ground and win everything. You won't have repeat business and will have few friends with that attitude.

The Golden Rule states that you should "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." When you deal with other people, you should allow them to also win.

Enjoy others today

Live for today and enjoy the people around you while you can. Don't be waiting for someone else tomorrow. Like the old song says, "If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with."

Don’t drag the past into the present or live a life based on an undefined future. Some people are always looking for something or someone better. That may not happen.

In conclusion

To have satisfying social relations, you should have respect for other people, seek to have everyone win, and enjoy others today instead of some other time.

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A person who does as promised can be considered as reliable. Reliability is an admirable characteristic. People don't like to deal with those who are unreliable. They'd rather give their business and rewards to the person they can count on. Also, the reliable person feels good knowing that he or she is trusted.

Questions you may have are:

·         What does it mean to be reliable?

·         What is being unreliable?

·         How does reliability pay?

Being reliable

A reliable person is one who has a track record of doing what he or she promised to do. If a person continually completes tasks she promised to do, she is then considered reliable. If a person has says he will show up at 10:30, and he is known to be reliable, you can count on him to be on time.

Being considered reliable means that you are conscientious and  keep your promises. A reliable person does not make excuses.

Being unreliable

You cannot count on a person who is known to be unreliable to follow through on what he or she has promised to do. A person may promise to pick you up at the airport but then not show up, because "he forgot."  Or a person may come to an meeting late, because she got involved in some other activity and lost track of time.

Renege on promises

What happens with unreliable people is that they renege on their promises. They are unreliable because the way the set their priorities. Their promise to you is not as important to them as something else.

Caught up in own interests

Some people lack the skills to complete jobs. Some lie and have no intention of doing the job. Some have good intentions but are so forgetful or caught up in their own interests that they forget or don't bother to do what they promised.

You aren't important

Often, what they are saying is that you aren't as important. A person who is unreliable at work us saying that the job is not as important to them as some other activity.

Benefits of being reliable

Certainly, you would want to associate with a person you can count on. Supervisors want to keep employees that are reliable and who that can count on to come to work on time and to complete assigned tasks. Such a person is trusted to do as promised.

Trust leads to promotions

The benefits of being reliable are that people trust you and feel they can count on you. A reliable person will get and keep friends much easier than someone who is careless in personal relationships and can't be counted on to keep his or her word. A reliable worker will be trusted to do the job as promised and can reap the rewards of raises and promotions.

A business that has a reputation of being reliable or making reliable products will get repeat and new business, as well as reducing costs of rework or repair.

Negative side to being reliable

On the negative side of being considered reliable, there are situations where others can soon take you for granted and not appreciate your reliability. It is a trait of human nature that if something or someone is very predictable, then those actions are not appreciated.

Although it is possible to be taken advantage of by being reliable and predictable, in the long run reliability is the best way to be.

Admirable trait

Being reliable is an admirable trait. We all dislike dealing with people who are unreliable, so being reliable is a character trait for which we should strive. People thank you for it. You get a good reputation. You also feel good about yourself when you do as promised.

It is a good feeling to be "a man of his word" or a "woman of her word."

In conclusion

A reliable person has a track record of keeping promises. An unreliable person shows he or she doesn't really care about others. You can't count on such a person. The benefits of being reliable include promotions at work, better personal relationships, and increased self-esteem.

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A person who does not lie, steal or deceive, but instead tells the truth and shows integrity is considered to be honest. If you have a reputation of being honest, people will want to deal with you more, because they trust you. You also have a sense of pride in your honesty.

Questions you may have are:

·         What does it mean to be honest?

·         What is being dishonest?

·         How does honesty pay?

Being honest

A person who is considered honest is one who displays integrity, is genuine and not deceptive or fraudulent. Honesty is characterized by truth and sincerity. Honesty denotes the quality of being upright in principle and action. Honesty implies truthfulness, fairness in dealing with others, and refusal to engage in fraud, deceit, or dissembling.

Returning lost goods

Abraham Lincoln was said to walk back several miles to a store when he noticed he had been given one penny too much in change. That was a sense of being honest and not taking what doesn't belong to you.

Being considerate

It is the same thing as finding something and turning it into the Lost and Found. Besides being honest, it is also being considerate.

Being dishonest

A person who is considered dishonest is disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.

Examples

Examples of being dishonest include, stealing someone's pencil in school, not telling our parents the truth, not giving back something that a person has lost. Cheating on a test is dishonest.

Parents advocate dishonesty

There was recently a case where a 15 year old boy defrauded stock investors of over $200,000 through clever manipulation of information over the Internet. The boy was certainly dishonest. Afterwards, his father praised the boy as being clever and "beating the government." The father apparently was giving his dishonest sense of values to his son.

Benefits from being honest

When Lincoln returned the overpaid penny, he probably received thanks from the store owner. That and the sense of satisfaction were the rewards of being honest. 

A person that is honest and shows integrity feels better about himself or herself. To take what does not belong to you leaves you with a dirty feeling. A thief may not have a conscious about stealing, but that person has no character. He knows in his heart that he is not good.

I got reward

When I was in the 5th grade, I found a dollar bill on the playground. I turned it into the school office. It was later found out that the dollar was the lunch money of a younger child. His mother sent us a thank you note and a reward of 25 cents. My mother was very proud of me. The 25 cents was a token of appreciation, but the acknowledgement was more important.

When I didn't get reward

There are times when you don't get a reward or even acknowledgement of your honesty. You have to be realistic that not everyone you deal with also has character. In such cases, you can at least hold your head up high that you did the right thing.

Returned lost watch

When I was going to the University of Missouri Graduate School, I found a watch in the men's room. I turned it into the Lost and Found at the school security area. I asked if no one claimed the watch, would I get it back? The security people said, "No. We keep the watch." That certainly did not encourage honesty. In fact, I fell that they were dishonest to keep the watch. It was not a good reward for being honest, and it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Found wallet

Another time I found a woman's wallet outside a small department store. The wallet had at least $200 in it. I went back into the store and told a clerk. They asked over the PA system if the person on the ID was in the store.

A lady said she was the person, and I said I had her wallet. She said, "Bring it here." She took it and never even thanked me. While I was walking out of the store, her daughter came over and offered me $20 for returning her mother's wallet. I said, "Forget it." I didn't want their money. At least I can live with myself and hold my head up high.

Sometimes get recognition 

The benefits you get from being honest are that sometimes you get recognition and thanks for an honest deed. But in general, honesty is not something that is directly rewarded. It is a feeling you have about yourself. It is a feeling of pride and self-worth and character. I feel I am a stronger and better person because of being honest.

In conclusion

Honesty is telling the truth, returning lost goods, and not cheating or deceiving. People like to deal with those they can trust. On the other hand, you can't always expect a reward or recognition for being honest. At the very least, you feel good about yourself for your honesty.

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What trust is

Trust in another people has several meanings:

1.        Trust means that you feel that the person is honest and will not lie, cheat or steal from you.

2.        It also means that you can count on the person to do as he or she promised and that the person is reliable.

3.        Finally, trust in a person means that you feel he or she can be made responsible to do something important and will not shirk his or her duties but will take personal pride in what is done.

An illustration of trust can be seen when you are on a trip, and you stop at a filling station to ask the attendant for directions. You trust that he will not purposely give the wrong directions. You also trust that he is competent and responsible in being able to give correct directions. If he says he has to go in the back to get a map and will return right away, you trust that he will do just that and not take off for lunch.

Being considered untrustworthy

If you are caught lying or deceiving people, they will consider you an untrustworthy character. It is then very easy for that reputation to spread. When a person is considered as untrustworthy by others, they will tend to be cautious in dealing with that person or may avoid him or her all together.

Doubt about relationship

For example, suppose someone you know had lied and deceived you. If the person apologized and said he wouldn't do it again, you might forgive him. But if he deceived you again, you would have serious doubts about any relationship with that person again. This is a major source of divorces.

Unreliable friend

Likewise, a person who is unreliable--such as a friend who promises to pick you up from the airport but then never shows up--cannot be trusted to do things. An irresponsible person also cannot be trusted, because he or she does not seem to care about how things are done.

Benefits from being trustworthy

People like to deal with those they can trust. You like to go to a store where you know the owner or sales clerk will not try to cheat you or lie to you about some goods. Supervisors like to have workers they know will be reliable and show up on time each day. They also like workers who they can trust to take responsibility.

If people trust you, they will like you and give you more opportunities than others.

If you know you are honest, that you do as promised, that you are capable of taking on responsibility, then you feel good about yourself. You feel you have integrity and cannot be influenced but negative outside forces trying to bring you down. You feel self-respect, knowing that you are worthy of others' trust.

Virtues

Franklin's 13 virtues are as follows:

TEMPERANCE: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

SILENCE: Speak not but what may benefit others or you; avoid trifling conversation.

ORDER: Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

RESOLUTION: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

FRUGALITY: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

INDUSTRY: Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

SINCERITY: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

JUSTICE: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

MODERATION: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

CLEANLINESS: Tolerate no unseemliness in body, cloths, or habitation.

TRANQUILITY: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

CHASTITY: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

HUMILITY: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Franklin's application

Ben Franklin tried to lead his life, following these virtues. He placed each one of the virtues on a separate page in a small book that he kept with him for most of his life. He would evaluate his performance with regard to each of them on a daily basis. He would also select one of the virtues to focus on for full week

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