ROBO DRAC ONLINE NEWS

real life news
(involving the site)

11-06-02 = The web designers for robo-drac.com have just been released from prison after not taking their public service agreement seriously and spreading vicious rumors about robo-drac's homosexuality and are now being forced to update this public service site
05-22-02 = Screech AIM Conversations! Oh shit!
04-29-02 = SCREECH
01-07-02 = THREE NEW FUCKING DRAC COMICS BY LUKE.
01-01-02 = HAPPY FUCKING DRAC ASS NEW YEAR, YA PRICKS.
11-02-01 = NEW ROBO DRAC HATE-BOOK
11-13-01 = Did some Drac house cleaning.
11-10-01 = ROBO DRAC COMICS!!!!!
09-22-01 = New section added to site: Robo-drac tabloid headline section! also, quote archive expanded, and Robo-Pudding added to franchise
09-07-01 = FUCKIN' BALLS
08-11-01 = WHERE THE HELL IS LUKE?! Probably captured by ROBO DRAC, no doubt.
08-07-01 = ROBO FRO's and ROBO VICE PREZ's song is completed. be on the site soon.
08-01-01 = AWESOME TRENDY NEW SCROLL BARS!! ---------------------->
07-31-01 = This just in: ROBO DRAC ONLINE IS AWESOME.
07-30-01 = Paul aka ROBO-FRO has joined the ROBO DRAC FRANCHISE. He offered to make a new ROBO DRAC song with dAvE. the brand new song and lyrics should be up soon.
06-22-01 = RDO goes on hi-a-tis (a break). or something.
06-19-01 = added the binary codes to RDO. (look at them from a far distance)
06-12-01 = The "Techno Song" is now up!
06-01-01 = SOME SONGS ARE UP!
05-30-01 = get this...
today we recorded song 23 to song 37 on the '101 Songs in the Key of ROBO DRAC'...
BUT WE DIDN'T!
you see the main microphone that records everything WAS TURNED OFF THE WHOLE TIME.
we finished song 37, proud of what we accomplished and wanted to listen to the tape.
WELL, THE WHOLE FRICKEN TAPE WAS BLANK!!!! NO SOUND. NO NOTHING. NO HUMOROUS SONGS AND SAYINGS. NOTHING! JUST BLANK DEAD SOUND! 15 BRAND NEW SONGS AND THE DAMN MICROPHONE WAS OFF. SON OF A BITCH! FUCK!!!!!!!
05-29-01 = ROBO QUOTES ARE NOW IN THE TELL SECTION!

ROBO DRAC NEWS

  • 11-04-02 = Robo-Drac acquires time machine and goes back in time. he takes excalibur from arthur and rules his kingdom. he also finds holy grail, shits in it, and now all who drink from grail simply get the taste of shit in their mouth.
  • 10-31-02 = Robo-Drac dresses as power ranger for halloween, someone told him he was too old and he cut them into candy pieces and distributed the pieces to children.
  • 10-30-02 = drac preping for halloween, getting together various poisons for trick or treaters
  • 10-29-02 = all hallos eve eve eve. robo-drac re-solders his circuits and replaces some transistors
  • 09-06-02 = second day of school. miraculously all are swallowed in a sea of frowns and spuriousity. coincidence?
  • 09-05-02 = first day of school. miraculously, there is simultanious breaking of spirits everywhere.
  • 15-46-8a = calender error
  • 08-26-02 = nothing happened today. i took a shit.
  • 04-15-02 = Drac is still partying hard from luke's huge birthday bash. 20 people killed in havoc.
  • 11-21-01 = nothing important happened today
  • 11-20-01 = nothing important happened today
  • 11-19-01 = nothing important happened today
  • 11-18-01 = nothing important happened today
  • 11-17-01 = nothing important happened today
  • 11-16-01 = nothing important happened today
  • 11-15-01 = nothing important happened today
  • 11-14-01 = nothing important happened today
  • 11-13-01 = ROBO DRAC finally admits that he is the cause of all deaths up to the present date.
  • 10-31-01 = ROBO DRAC terrorizes little kids on Halloween threatening them to "GIVE ME SOME CANDY OR YOU WON'T HAVE EYES TOMORROW."
  • 10-26-01 = Mysteriously, "DRAC!" is painted on the phone outside of Triton.
  • 10-15-01 = Luke breaks foot, says it must of been that crazy Dracster.
  • 10-04-01 = Saw a stop sign in Pennsauken, NJ with "01" spray painted onto it. Meaning in binary: "DRAC WAS HERE".
  • 09-23-01 = Robo-Drac acts like a jerk...still
  • 09-21-01 = Robo-Drac 2.0, now with more racial slurs "enough bigotry to offend even the stupidest pollock"
  • 09-20-01 = Kevin Epifano's calculator was destroyed and then impersanated by Robo Drac. Luke overheard Mr. Reilley saying, "Epifano's calculator must have gone BERZERK, he got all the answers wrong." We happy to know Kevin got away unharmed, but he will never see his true calculator again. Memorial services for the calculator will be held on never. We have researchers looking in to Robodrac's new morphing capabilities.
  • 09-10-01 = Dr. Stephens remarks that the Red Cross is like vampires for his "type-o positive" blood, constantly begging him to "give blood" .....Robo Drac????? See the connection? Damn you!
  • 08-12-01 = Luke Escape's Robo Drac's Grip. I rule, i'm back, and i rule
  • 08-11-01 = ROBO DRAC captures LUKE, the president.
  • 08-08-01 = Brad Pitt is robo drac, grocery store tabloid said he went bezerk because his chick is a dyke
  • 08-07-01 = Robo Drac is denied proper health care because of smoking habit and heart condition
  • 07-31-01 = ROBO DRAC comes back from fucking ass town, usa.
  • 06-14-01 = ROBO DRAC goes vacation to fucking ASS TOWN, USA
  • 06-13-01 = ROBO DRAC TRIES MAKING A PAIR OF PANTS OUT OF TURTLES.....UNSUCCESFUL.
  • 06-12-01 = ROBO DRAC HAS NOW TRANSFORMED INTO L.A. LAKERS HEAD, PHIL JACKSON. A FEW DAYS AGO IN A POSTGAME REPORT HE WAS TALKING AND THE WORDS COMING OUT OF HIS MOUTH DID NOT MATCH THE WAY HIS LIPS WRE MOVING, HIS TAPE RECORDER MUST HAVE MALFUNCTIONED.
    =?
  • 06-11-01 = ROBO DRAC IS DEFINITELY STILL PAT CROCE, HE CLIMBED THAT DAMN BRIGDGE. WHAT A FOOL, HIS DISGUISE WILL BE MADE KNOWN!!!!
  • 06-10-01 = AS OF TODAY, ROBO-DRAC HAS TAKEN THE FORM OF HOT DOGS. ARMOR HOT DOGS. WHAT KIND OF ROBOT WEARS ARMOR HOT DOGS? fucking dickheads, thats what kind.
  • 06-08-01 = SUCK MY ASS
  • 06-03-01 = SIXERS OWNER PAT CROCE IS ACTUALLY ROBO-DRAC IN DISGUISE, TONIGHT ON THE TEN O'CLOCK NEWS, HE SAID "BERZERK". PEOPLE THAT AREN'T ROBO-DRAC DON'T USE THE WORD "BERZERK."
  • 05-31-01 = FUCK
  • 05-30-01 = ROBO DRAC CAN NOW MORPH INTO SCORE BOARDS.
  • 05-25-01 = ROBO DRAC CAN MORPH INTO GARY HECKLER! WATCH OUT!!!
  • 05-23-01 = ROBO DRAC CELEBRATES HIS "DIVORCE" WITH BLENDER BY SCREWING TOASTER.
  • 05-22-01 = ROBO DRAC GETS JOB FOR SPOKESMAN OF CREST TOOTHPASTE.
  • 05-21-01 = ROBO DRAC'S SOFTWARE GETS UPGRADED: NOW ABLE TO KILL MORE BABIES.
  • 04-09-00 = ROBO DRAC KILLS HIS 100,000TH PERSON! HIP HIP! HOORAY!
  • 01-27-00 = ROBO DRAC TURNS SELF INTO SUBMARINE, COOL UPGRADE
  • 01-01-00 = ROBO DRAC'S "Y2GAY" SCHPEIL IS UNCOVERED AS A FRAUD AFTER HUNDREDS OF GEEZERS DIE FEAR-RELATED HEART ATTACKS. HOOTY HOOT.
  • 02-11-99 = ROBO DRAC SAYS: "SUCK IT, YA JERK!"
  • 11-05-96 = ROBO DRAC GETS YET ANOTHER UPGRADE. HE CAN FLY!
  • 09-24-85 = ROBO DRAC CELEBRATES HIS KILLINGS...YET AGAIN.
  • 10-28-82 = ROBO DRAC CREATES RAP TO PISS OFF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE EVERYWHERE
  • 02-02-75 = ROBO DRAC IS PROGRAMMED TO KICK ASS IN PONG!
  • 07-15-74 = ROBO DRAC KICKS THE SHIT OUT OF GODZILLA
  • 12-23-73 = ROBO DRAC FRIGHTENS THE ELDERLY.
  • 07-19-69 = ROBO DRAC GETS JEALOUS OF THOSE MOON LANDING GUYS.
  • 01-29-65 = ROBO DRAC SAYS, "I LIKE THE BEATLES."
  • 05-22-62 = ROBO DRAC IS STILL FRIENDLY...BUT HE'S GETTING MADDER.
  • 06-20-60 = ROBO DRAC IS CREATED SO EAT CRAP!
  • 01-18-0 = JESUS SENSES AN EVIL ROBOT WILL COME ABOUT IN 1,960 YEARS
  • circa 2000 B.C. = NOSTRADAMUS PREDICTS A METAL ENEMY TO ALL SHALL ARISE AFTER THE STRIKE OF THE MOONS AND THE SUNS ON THE NINETEENTH THOUSANDTH AND SIXTYITH YEAR AFTER THE COMING OF A GREAT GOOD-NESS WHO SHALL PREACH AGAINST THE METAL-FIEND. SIGNS: METAL, SHINEY, TITANIUM, BIG JERK

    • NEWS AND HEADLINES ONLY ROBO DRAC CAN READ:
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